Gini, you are so much more.
I definately know how you feel. My parents were none doctor people... They let me sit at the house for four days with an over 103 fever and hallucinate until they took me to the doctors and discovered I had double pnemonia and was breathing with only half of one lung.
Since that day (at 15) it has been off to the doctor for any fever that lasted over a day... they weren't taking chances.
I am surprised the spinal menegitis didn't snap your parents back to reality abotu health care.
But just remember, you need to take good care of yourself, not let the past disrupt how feel. You know you are sick, you just don't want to confront the "weakness" aspect your family associated with being sick. Everyone gets sick. It is how well you take care of yourself and get better that counts.
Oh and I agree about the voices and drive to be better it gives you. I have always wondered if very successful people (like you) have a driving urge to succeed that overruns some insticts to relax. I guess they do.
god, do i ever relate to this. remember a few weeks ago, when i broke my ribs, and i just went and sat down and caught my breath and then went back and finished hanging the wallpaper? yep. the old fear of being labeled a hypochondriac.
it's so wrong. you know, i often muse that the only reason i go to the doctor fairly normally now is that i pay $150 a month for health coverage, and it's my way of "getting something for my money".
the fact that, at 30 years of age, i'm not falling apart like my mom and grandmom were is just coincidental, i'm sure. ;)
i have told you before that i see so much of me in you and you in me...just like this latest fiasco through which am living
feel better soon super woman
I do the same thing but I don't know what to pin it on.
Can I believe that I am more than the sum of my demons?
Dear God, I hope so. Because reining you in and saying, "You need to stop and fix yourself RIGHT NOW" is like wrestling an alligator.
(We actually got into a small fight this morning over her going to the doctor, folks. I love her very very much, but I'll rest a lot easier when it doesn't involve a brief screaming match to convince her that going to get medical help is not a betrayal of everything that she should be.)
Relax sometimes. Take a break. You're important, too!
Big hugs and kisses,
I woke up a few months ago and realized that I was, finally, putting my demons behind me. I realized that the man I am is a stranger to my parents and most of my other relatives. They see me as I am now and are shocked with how together, how forceful, and how uncompromising I can be while still being a caring, loving parent and son.
I am more than I once was, and more than I have ever been and it only took me 37 years to get here.
I have faith that you will soon find your own center as well.
Thank GOODNESS you went to the doctor. I'm so relieved that, even if you don't get rest, you have some lovely medication to ease you through these final weeks of the semester.
2003-11-28 04:35 pm (UTC)
Y'know, over the last three weeks I've read a dozen posts, from a dozen people, all talking about what their parents were like when they were kids.
I'm fucking amazed any of you are here at all. I mean it sounds to me like half yer' parents couldn't have been trusted with the care and breeding of fuckin hyenas, much less children. The other half were bloody criminal in their stupidity and neglect. I wanna stand them up against a wall and slap them till they make squishy sounds. I'm not a violent guy, but nothin' sets me off like people who go ahead and have children without ever undergoing that shift in priorities the rest of us did, where we took the emphasis off ourselves and put it on our children.
Okay, done ranting. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon and you feel better.
I tremble, though, at the fear that we, the victims, aren't doing much better with our own children and will only find out too late....
youre talking to the woman who caught 2 buses and walked 10 minutes (more like 1/2 an hour that day!) home 4 days after a 36 hour labour and emergancy caezerian. and who only went back into hospital after the staph infection burst open, never mind that i hadnt been able to eat drink walk or piss for the two days previous...
my mum was a firm beliver in the 'go to school unless youre dead' ethic. no matter how many times i would be send home becasue i couldnt stand up due to the period pains she never seemed to grasp that i might actualy need painkillers of some sort to function one week out of each month. even now i dont go to the doctor unless im dying. literaly dying.
both of us need to take more care of ourselves i think. maybe everytime you get ill ask yourself if you were your child (aged about 6, not adult), would you go see a doctor?
Can you tell me what you were diagnosed with? I've had the same illness and I'm stil coughing. I've taken some medication I had around, some old antibiotics for bronchitis, and it seems to have helped some, but it's still there. Exhausting, isn't it?
Bronchitis, and they gave me zithromycin (sp?) for it. And exhausting is right. It's bad enough to be on this schedule, then to be awake half the night coughing....
Hope you feel better soon, too.
My wife's in and out of the doctor / walk in clinic multiple times a year with the same thing, and always the same drugs.
If I remember correctly though, the prescription always says to take the pills for ten full days.
If you're using old drugs that you have laying around, they may still have a bit of fight left in them, but your illlness is sticking aorund because a) they've lost their potency, and b) you probably don't have enough laying around and/or aren't taking them for a long enough period of time.
"I was just going to cost them money for no reason."
I wondered "what the fuck were they thinking?" until I read that phrase. Not that penny-pinching should take priority over your daughter's health, but I am so glad for healthcare. It may not be perfect, but at least people are less likely to have to make that kind of choice.
You have to be a pretty amazing hypochondriac to convince the doctors about your broken shoulder, bronchitis, pneumonia, concussion, appendicitis, kidney infection, etc..
This post comes at an interesting time, since I just went to the ER last night and got diagnosed with pneumonia (well, it's not quite a coincidence since there's something really nasty going around). I didn't want to go because I thought I was tougher than any mere illness -- until it was pointed out that it could potentially be pneumonia and all the websites (and the nurseline) recommended seeking treatment immediately to avoid having it get worse. I still thought of it as only a precaution and refused to believe that I had it until it was stated in absolute terms.
I don't know if your insurance has a nurseline. If it does, it might help to call them and describe your symptoms precisely and ask for a recommendation. A professional opinion might be more convincing.
My parents did not take my flu-and-asthma attacks from my childhood very seriously. OTC drugs like Nyquil reduce the congestion and may keep colds from developing into that. I read about that much later and have treated myself better after that. I also sought out a more permanent solution and all but eliminated my asthma.
Parents can be wrong and frequently are, especially in your case. Your parents defined toughness the wrong way. Go seek help when you're sick -- you would be less of a burden on your family and friends if you get better quickly.