Man, I love you. I love this post.
Beautifully said, and so true! :)
I made a somewhat similar post recently, though more dealing specifically with how to handle pain loved ones are going through... basically, I realized- I can't give, give, give, give. Like 90% of my energy was going to this one friend, 15% to my other friends... hmm. I've already topped 100% without leaving anything to myself. That isn't good.
You have to take care of yourself first. The misery of others cannot define how you yourself feel about life. That will drain all your energy and soul to the point where you have no motivators outside of helping your friends. That will quickly wipe out your ability to handle your own stuff and even wipe out your ability to help those you were trying to help. Its ok to worry, hurt, and show support for your loved ones, but letting their pain take over your life completely is not healthy for you or them. It isn't always a clear line, but its an important one you need to be careful not to cross.
This is beautiful. Thank you so much.
Lord knows I wish there were more people with such an attitude in the world. I think a large part of society's widespread cynicism could be due to the tendency of industrialized regions to adopt an empiricist viewpoint- something that's rarely optimistic. *Shrug*
I am always made really depressed by people who do that.
Happiness is not a zero-sum game, nor a limited resource.
One of my dearest friends will NOT realize this. Her jealousy of the happiness of others is probably what keeps me from counting her my hands-down dearest friend. Her 'tude implies that they somehow STOLE it from her.
This is a lovely post; mind if I forward, with attribution?
No, I don't mind at all! Forward, or link. Thank you!
2004-04-20 05:56 pm (UTC)
Ignoring the point entirely...
But...but...but grumbling about the weather is what English people do best.
Yeah, I was thinking earlier today that I was still carrying a couple of prostitutes with me. Gotta shed that load.
been in the process of letting go of some of that luggage... this post appeared at the perfect time!
yet again, running across one of your posts has made my evening better. thank you.
also, i love your icon. hooray for emma thompson and shakespeare! i watch that movie at least once a month.
My daughter insisted on watching it last night. Oh, no! Twist my arm!!!!
I would agree. Happiness is a choice that we make, much like many others. There are always things to find that can make you happy, if you're willing to look for them. I think I tend to drive my wife kind of nuts because, even when I've had pneumonia and been coughing up blood, I've noticed how pretty the full moon is or how cute the cat is being or something like that. It's what I decide to focus upon. Today I had to drive 15 miles to an appointment, only to arrive and find out the people I was supposed to meet had been sent down to my office. I chose to laugh and enjoy the chance to get out of the office, get some fresh air, and feel the sparse drops of rain that were falling. My choice.
I've had people recently complain to me that you can't change the past, and that often that's what's making them miserable. While I agree you can't change it, what can be changed is your perspective on the past and what you chose to take from it. The second time I broke up with my second fiance (long story there), I was much better able to take it as having learned how to let go of people who aren't good for me. Sure, it hurt, and it messed with my head for awhile. But I chose to try to focus on what I'd learned about myself...what I'd finally been able to do that I never thought I could.
Laugh or cry, it's always a choice. And laughing doesn't make my eyes sore and nose stuffed up.
exactly. you can't change the past. but you can look back on it and savour what you had and the memory of that, and then look at today and savour what you've got now. i'm not sorry i was involved with anyone--each one left me with memories i cherish. today may have unpleasantries for me as well. but i still choose to remember the past with a smile, and rather than think about someone who flipped me off and honked his horn at me, i'll think about the doves cooing on my porch.
and crying just takes so much ENERGY. why not accept that it made you sad, let it go, and smile instead?
And now I have to profess my undying love for you.
Funny, I just did that to Ferrett a few minutes ago…
Well, I suppose it's better than loving one of us and loathing the other. [g]
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." - Buddha
Thanks for some optimism :) This post is brightening my day already.
That Buddha - he knows whats it's about! :D
Randomly here... That picture is from "Much Ado About NOthing", correct? Awesome.
2004-04-21 02:28 pm (UTC)
Yup. Isn't she lovely?
You just reminded me of my one of favourite quotes of all time... 'The point of the destination is to prove you are capable of the journey'
Good message btw - let's all try to live our lives like that! :D
I try to look at life (and get others to see) the same way. You expressed it much better than I could have as of late, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I've never been one to profess being an optimist, but in the last few years, I've learned that it's easier to find the silver lining in a less than ideal situation than it is to spend time complaining and worrying about it.
2004-04-21 02:35 pm (UTC)
Re: Thank you.
It' easy to complain and worry - just not productive and ultimately damaging. It's a bad habit, and a hard one to break.
I'm glad my words spoke to you.
2004-04-21 02:35 pm (UTC)
Hi there! Thanks! It's not every day that I manage so well, but the days I do are decidely better!
2004-04-21 02:41 pm (UTC)
Bounced over here from the
's journal to wish you well and to send best birthday wishes. Hope it is an excellent day/time for you.
2004-04-21 03:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm sure I will have fun!
Wow. I'm glad that this reached you. Keep me posted on how you're doing with it, for I would like to know.
2004-04-21 09:46 pm (UTC)
Or, As Spider Put It:
2004-04-21 10:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Or, As Spider Put It:
Great link! Thank you.