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There must be a beach nearby! - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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There must be a beach nearby! [May. 29th, 2004|01:12 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |shockedshocked]

There's an expression that I love: having sand. Having sand means having nerve so outrageous that you go all the way past offense and back to a level of grudging admiration. Opening the mail this morning, I was confronted with a perfect example.

I received a wedding invitation (preprinted, computer produced labels of the sort that give Miss Manners a migraine) from a woman who used to work in our office. She used to work in our office because she was fired for cause and summarily escorted from the building sometime in March. Among the reasons for her termination, rumor has it, was theft. One of the things she took with her, apparently, was the address list on which I had seen her working (her cubicle was outside my office). Despite her sudden departure on less than ideal terms, she appears to have mass mailed the office staff with her invitation, because I know that I had no particular relationship with her that would lead to her singling me out for an invite. It's strictly to the wedding, no reception invitation, and no request for an RSVP. In other words, a blatant solicitation of gifts.

The girl's got sand, no doubt about it.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: kid_lit_fan
2004-05-29 05:31 pm (UTC)
Wow.

Part of me would be tempted to find out where the reception is, and crash, acting as if you simply had NO idea that anyone could invite someone to a wedding and not a reception.

Or, yu COULD send her a copy of Miss Manners' Guide to Not Being a Total Fucking Boor, with appropriate passages bookmarked. (Actually, some bookstores have these lovely little copper clips that point to an exact LINE, without marrng the pages as paperclips do.)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-29 07:39 pm (UTC)
I like the second idea very much [g].
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[User Picture]From: mishamish
2004-05-29 05:32 pm (UTC)
BLOODY GREAT ICON!!! Melissa and I were talking about Much Ado just last night. I'm thinking that movie might be part of the "Shakespear Crash Course" the lass keeps intimating before the summer Shakespear rounds.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Oh, as for the sandy-one... Bah. Send her something old to you, new to her, that's blue. She obviously already has something "borrowed." :-P
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From: grailquestion
2004-05-29 06:36 pm (UTC)
Perhaps we can see it on the Monster Penis System? (Second last photo.)

Mmmm...Shakespeare done really big....aaaah.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-29 07:28 pm (UTC)
We have it on DVD now....
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From: grailquestion
2004-05-29 07:39 pm (UTC)
Jeff and Keira have a few DVDs...Richard III (Ian McKellen) and Henry V (Branagh--acutally we've borrowed that and haven't managed to return it) and a few others. We have the Midsummer with Kevin Kline and Rupert Everett. I can track down a bunch of other good things.

Our personal DVD collection is pretty slim, actually. This is sad.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-29 07:41 pm (UTC)
Joan and Brent have a batch, too. We can coordinate something at some point this summer.
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[User Picture]From: kellirose1313
2004-05-29 09:56 pm (UTC)
*envious*
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[User Picture]From: mishamish
2004-05-30 12:14 am (UTC)
Oooh... I have heard tell of this monstrosity, but I had not till now laid eyes on it...

Yeeeeeeesh, methinks Shakespear (and to cross-reference another LJ thread, Buffy) might VERY WELL need to be watch at de Casa o' de Ferrettish Peoples.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-30 12:23 am (UTC)
Yeah, we don't have problems persuading people to come to our house to watch movies these days....

;-)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-29 07:40 pm (UTC)
It's a marvelous movie and tremendous fun. I'm up for it.

I'm sending her nothing. Invite went in the trash.
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[User Picture]From: mishamish
2004-05-30 12:10 am (UTC)
Hmm... I dunno... I kept trying to think of something that was as cool, honest, and demented a wedding gift as Randy Milhollands "Quart of Whiskey and a coat hanger" were as a shower gift... Maybe a booklet of divorce paperwork? Or a clipping of a "How to know if your man is cheating" article?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-30 12:18 am (UTC)
Now that's jes' mean-spirited.

Not that I don't like it... [g]
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[User Picture]From: kid_lit_fan
2004-05-30 03:37 am (UTC)
Actually, my dearest friend in the world gave his sister (keep in mind that it WAS her third marriage and she AND the new husband had cheated on their previous spouses, and not just with each other) "How to Make Love to the Same Person for the Rest of Your Life."

I stand by my original "Miss Manners" suggestion, although a card (preferably a 99c special) as "payment" for the reception is kind of appealing. You just know she's going to spend way too much.
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[User Picture]From: dweezel
2004-05-29 05:44 pm (UTC)
Yes, I agree you should crash the party. Get a simple card as a gift and crash the reception. Do it! Do it!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-29 07:38 pm (UTC)
That would require more effort than I am willing to put into it. I simply threw the invite away - I feel no obligation to provide anything.
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[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2004-05-30 03:42 am (UTC)
Yeah. People like you and me are too lazy to tell people when they're being rude. ;}
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-30 05:15 am (UTC)
It's the actually having to go out of my way and make an effort, using up my personal free time. I simply don't care enough to be botherred.
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[User Picture]From: noshot
2004-05-29 06:57 pm (UTC)
Here, we have a more elaborated version of the expression. I'm sure you can figure out what it is.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-05-29 07:43 pm (UTC)
I'm drawing a blank....
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[User Picture]From: noshot
2004-06-02 04:24 pm (UTC)
I'm surprised you've never heard of 'sand in her vagina.' Really surprised.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-06-02 05:15 pm (UTC)
Never. Ever.

Um...ick?

[g]
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