||[Aug. 21st, 2004|07:37 pm]
I've been quiet lately because life has been really, really busy. Kristi arrived while I was in Washington, DC, and we have been bouncing her back and forth between my house and our sister Michele's. She is finally getting some treatment, a topic to which I will return in a couple paragraphs.
With an already-full house, we took baby Carolyn for an overnight visit while Mom and Dad got a well-deserved night out for themselves. She was absolutely adorable, but Ferrett and I had to have her in the bedroom with us and we were terrified we'd wake her. She's also a thrasher, so all night long we kept waking up in fear that she was awakening and would then freak out when it wasn't Mom or Dad who came to her. Didn't happen, but still no sleep.
Then Erin left on Thursday. It was really hard to see her go, and I have turned to tell her something on several occasions only to remember that she isn't here. We really had a wonderful summer. I miss her, a lot.
It's only Amy and Ferrett and me in the house tonight. I decided to research the disease the doctors say Kristi has: loin pain hematuria. They told her that they could move her kidney to the other side of her body and it would be fine.
My research tells me otherwise.
This is a rare condition without a known cause, and the treatment is dramatic - and not very successful. I've been reading forums of sufferers and the concensus seems to be that the syndrome tends to move into the other kidney and the pain continues. These people are in serious, life-destroying pain, and there may truly be little or nothing that can be done about it.
I've bookmarked websites, and printed some information so that Kristi can ask all the right questions when she goes to the doctor. Unfortunately, I have to be the one to tell her that there may not be a magic bullet for this after all.
It's an awful, lonely feeling, sitting here with the information and knowing that I am the one who will have to tell her, and tell the rest of my family, how bad this really is. I feel a little sick.