|You do what you need to for family
||[Sep. 20th, 2004|11:06 am]
At the end of this week my brother-in-law, Kristi's husband, will be arriving. Ferrett and I talked it over and decided that we needed to fly him out here to see her before she goes into surgery. So we sucked it up, put it on a credit card, and will be paying it off for some time to come. No one else in my family is able to do anything. My mom just started working again after a financially crippling move to the Seattle area and move back to Montana, my brother has been out of work for a year and his family is just barely keeping it together, Michele is doing all that she can as it is. Kris and Jon are struggling on one income when they were just making it on two before. The funds everyone so generously donated here are used up.
But I can't fathom letting a couple who love each other as much as Kris and Jon do be apart while one of them is going through a surgery like this.
On September 30, Kristi's kidney will be removed in a procedure that also requires the removal of a rib. The kidney will be put on ice, and Kristi will be wheeled out of O.R. and be monitored to make certain she is stablized. While this is happening, the operating theatre will be set up a second time, and assuming that everything has gone well during the first surgery, Kris will be wheeled back in, cut open on her other side, the matching rib removed, and her kidney transplanted into her body on that side.
My friend Kat, who is a nurse, assures me that this is not as bad as it sounds. That is small comfort when I think about my sister under anesthesia for that many hours, going through two complete and separate surgeries, one on each side of her body. The doctors told her that she will be in the hospital for 7-9 days, and when you consider how quickly hospitals release patients these days, that alone indicates how serious the procedure is.
Even if everything goes like clockwork, the soonest Kristi can expect to be back home is just before Thanksgiving. That's nearly four months. Even when Jon was in the military, they were never apart for that long. They need to see each other.
And I can't imagine going through something like this without your spouse around. Even my shoulder surgery, minor though it was in comparison, left me in great pain and discomfort. Going through that without Ferrett around would have been ten times more awful. I want her to be able to hear that familiar voice, feel the comfort of that well-known touch. Nor can I imagine letting Jon sit in Montana, feeling helpless, while Kris is undergoing the surgery.
They both need to be with each other during this. He's coming in this Saturday so that the two of them can have a few days together before her surgery, and then flying back the following Saturday, once she's out of the anesthesia and we know she's doing all right. So I don't get to eat out or buy the new seasons of Buffy or Angel for a while. It's worth the tradeoff.