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Day...moving...slooowly............ - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Day...moving...slooowly............ [Dec. 17th, 2004|10:04 am]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |lazylazy]

Finally got out of the house, and called my secretary from the road to let her know I was on the way.

"Sorry I'll be late," I said. "I just had a really bad case of assbeditis this morning."

"Oh, no, are you all righ--I've never heard of...what?"

"Assbeditis. I couldn't get my ass out of bed."

I'm highly amused with myself.
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Comments:
From: flcodemonkey
2004-12-17 03:19 pm (UTC)
Do you have anything that cures that in children? I have to use a winch on mine some mornings just to pull them out of bed. Thankfully, last day of school today. w00t!
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[User Picture]From: elfwench
2004-12-17 06:12 pm (UTC)
A pitcher full of cold water!
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[User Picture]From: elfwench
2004-12-17 06:13 pm (UTC)

Note:

That would get anyone out of bed, especially in the winter!
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From: flcodemonkey
2004-12-17 06:28 pm (UTC)

Re: Note:

I've been tempted to use the small spray bottle I've used for the cats to also wake up the children. It would, however, greatly threaten domestic tranquility.
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[User Picture]From: elfwench
2004-12-17 06:46 pm (UTC)

Re: Note:

This is true... alas...
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[User Picture]From: tfcocs
2004-12-17 03:24 pm (UTC)
The hubby let his staff know that he was going to be out last week, since he needed to go in for treatment of "glaucoma of the ass".

"Yeah," he said, "I can't see myself dragging my ass to work on Friday".

Hilarity ensued!
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[User Picture]From: cathouse_blues
2004-12-17 03:28 pm (UTC)
That ranks right up there with my sister-in-law's anal glaucoma, best defined as "not being able to see your ass going in to work."
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[User Picture]From: luminita
2004-12-17 04:22 pm (UTC)
*spits coffee on keyboard*

Dear god, now that is a good one. hehehehe...
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[User Picture]From: shadesong
2004-12-17 04:53 pm (UTC)
I get cases of cats.

"I cannot get up. The cats, they have imprisoned me."
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[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2004-12-17 09:29 pm (UTC)
We call that Catlap. It's such an offical disease at my mom's house (with 3 of them) that you are exempt from chores if you have Catlap.
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[User Picture]From: shadesong
2004-12-17 09:40 pm (UTC)
As it should be!

I just get exempt from fetching my own cookies. Max never curls up with Adam, because Adam never settles *down*. He fidgets. When I stretch out on the couch to read or watch TV, the cats know I'm good for a solid amount of snuggletime.

So yes. "Adam, I require cookies. I cannot fetch them. I have *cats*."
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[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2004-12-17 11:12 pm (UTC)
LOL! You have him trained so well... ;}
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[User Picture]From: batshua
2004-12-17 05:31 pm (UTC)
Nice.

I literally dragged my mother out of bed yesterday. She had been taking a nap and we ended up running a bit late to karate class.

But karate class is a different story altogether.
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[User Picture]From: cathawk
2004-12-17 10:16 pm (UTC)
I love it. This will be my new disorder...ought to give my secretary a chuckle, as well.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-12-18 04:49 am (UTC)

assbedosis

You know, I knew that. Just wasn't thinking fast enough this morning.

I like your boss! I'm sorry you don't have that job anymore, too.
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