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Random mushiness - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Random mushiness [Mar. 25th, 2005|12:39 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |lovedloved]

True love.

You know you have it when:

- You're feeling really sick, and

- You ask your hubby to rub almond oil into your dry, itchy back, and

- He gives you a loving, tender massage complete with oil, and

- Knowing you're sick, he doesn't even try to put the moves on you.

Thanks to the insanity that is fulltime work and fulltime law school, our love life has not been up to its formerly legendary self. And yet I feel more loved than ever. theferrett gives me the kind of love that really counts - he cooks for me, he handles the household chores, he pays the bills and handles the budget. He has taken on the vast majority of the work that greases the skids that keep a household running. And his only reward is the grateful smile on his wife's exhausted face as she cuddles on his shoulder and falls asleep.

Sometimes he doesn't even get that. Sometimes he gets the grumpy, impatient wife. Yet he keeps going, and taking care of me, and helping me feel better.

I'm at work feeling very sick and kinda miserable, and strangely enough that makes me appreciate all he does for me even more. Because I know that he will be facing yet another weekend where I'm studying and whining and studying some more, and he will do it with the same kindness and gentle humor he's been showing me all along.

I love you, sweetie.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: ldygwynedd
2005-03-25 05:55 pm (UTC)
Now that is a sweet post.

You've got a good man, there.

But you know, he's got a good woman in you.
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From: tessbelle
2005-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)
Yay for Ferrett. That's true love. I liked the part where you said it's the kind of love that counts.
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[User Picture]From: interactiveleaf
2005-03-25 06:20 pm (UTC)
I liked the part where you said it's the kind of love that counts.

You liked it, I disagreed with it. I think those are the kinds of actions that count.

God, if I had a nickel for every time I've had this conversation:

"But baby, I looooove you!"

"I'm so sorry. If only love were enough, but it isn't."
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From: tessbelle
2005-03-25 06:30 pm (UTC)
I see where you're coming from with this. But I think I was thinking about it more in an "agape"/unconditional love kind of way. In other words, not necessarily the actions but the concept of "I love you enough to stand by you even when everything isn't great, fantastic, and all about us as a couple." The actions are the expression of that emotion and outlook.
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[User Picture]From: interactiveleaf
2005-03-25 08:14 pm (UTC)
I agree with zoethe that we may have just been expressing ourselves differently. I think I've heard the words "I love you" with nothing apparent to back them up too many times; I'm a tad cynical.

I wrote this a few months ago and it sums up my feelings well.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 09:19 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's pretty much the same thing, just different terms.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 06:31 pm (UTC)
That's love that says. There is love that says and love that does. I don't think we are disagreeing with each other, just using different terminology.
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[User Picture]From: littlebluedog
2005-03-25 06:17 pm (UTC)
Dang, I wish I had that kind of support in law school. :)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 06:30 pm (UTC)
I know how lucky I am, believe me.
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[User Picture]From: call_me_harmony
2005-03-25 06:22 pm (UTC)
I am glad you have this kind of support. You and the ferrett give me hope that maybe love's not all such a bunch of crock after all.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 06:46 pm (UTC)
Is it not fabulous?!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 07:19 pm (UTC)
I WANT that hair.

You and me both, sister.

Ferrett and I saw her in person at the first Farscape convention (we went for our honeymoon). The amazing thing to realize is that she doesn't photograph particularly well - she is even more beautiful in real life.
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[User Picture]From: longtimegone
2005-03-25 07:03 pm (UTC)
Awww, that's really fantastic. Sounds like you guys have a wonderful marriage. Seeing that kind of "love success" in just everyday life gives me hope for my future.
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2005-03-25 07:11 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that's one of the things I've come to understand as I've grown up 'n' been married awhile. The "legendary love-life" is a lot of fun. Having someone who'll take care of you and help when things are hard keeps things together and going.

You've got a good man there. You're a lucky woman. And I'm happy for you both.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 07:13 pm (UTC)
It's taken us a lot of work to grow to a place where we can both be this good to each other. Thanks.
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2005-03-25 08:08 pm (UTC)
You're very welcome. And, yeah, it does take a lot of work, on both sides, to build something that good and that solid. The idea that all you need is *deep sigh* LOVE (as in passion/infatuation) is one of the most damnable fallacies the media's fed to us. It's nice, and certainly make things more enjoyable. However, by itself it doesn't really do much....especially in regard to building what you 'n' your man have together.

You two both just RAWK!!
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[User Picture]From: aurora77
2005-03-25 07:30 pm (UTC)
Awwwww! How cute! I hope we end up that way.

<=== Is getting married in 2 weeks
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[User Picture]From: aurora77
2005-03-25 07:32 pm (UTC)
And, DAYUM, that icon's hot!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 07:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I love it myself; it's great to get to share it.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-25 07:36 pm (UTC)
Ooo, congrats! It's not simple - we had to work very hard to get here - but it's worth it.
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2005-03-25 08:09 pm (UTC)
Best of luck to you! Best thing I can recommend is to not run from problems that come up. Face 'em head-on and as soon as is reasonably and prudently possible. It avoids resentments building up and having to undo nasty habits.
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From: flcodemonkey
2005-03-25 09:07 pm (UTC)
Its a good thing you guys have going. :)
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[User Picture]From: coyotegoth
2005-03-25 09:21 pm (UTC)
Aww :)
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[User Picture]From: undertheivy99
2005-03-25 09:46 pm (UTC)
Ain't cuddly goodness grand?
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From: ethangilchrist
2005-03-25 09:54 pm (UTC)

*grumble*

I am now green with envy and jealousy. And thoroughly confused as to which of you I should be envious/jealous of. lol
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[User Picture]From: adjust_56
2005-03-26 02:26 am (UTC)
although i know you two speak a lot I find it amazing that you would would write it down as a different form of showing your appreciation. It's not only in what he does but the way that you show your love and gratitude toward him that builds and strengthen your bond. Very few people are wise enough to do this....Yay for both of you
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-26 04:20 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks. I just love him.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-26 04:21 am (UTC)
It took Ferrett a little while to grok that, though he gets in the mood when ill, that is not necessarily a universal trait.

And, yes, the icon is wonderfully yummy.
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[User Picture]From: lulybunny
2005-03-26 03:07 am (UTC)
*smile*

Ahh, hope.

I'm at that lovely stage where we're both crying and frustrated...but for some reason neither one of us wants to give up.

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-03-26 04:23 am (UTC)
We've been there. The thing that saved us was, when love seemed impossible, we still liked each other - he was still someone I wanted to talk to and tell stories and he made me laugh. We had to work back up from there. It wasn't easy, but it was SO worth it.
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[User Picture]From: heathrow
2005-03-26 03:19 am (UTC)
What a beautiful way to honor your sweetie. :)
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[User Picture]From: tz119
2005-03-26 12:21 pm (UTC)

Wow

That makes me so misty eyed. And gives me hope :D
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