?

Log in

No account? Create an account
I believe this has gone quite far enough, so now I shall explain… - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[Jul. 15th, 2005|06:41 am]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |mischievoussnarky mcsnarkpants]

I believe this has gone quite far enough, so now I shall explain myself.

My bike was not set on fire. This was just a social experiment. Because you people only gave me $30.66 to keep me from eating that hamburger, Ferrett laughed at me and told me that my internet friends didn't really care about me. I figured out this plan to try and prove him wrong. There had to be money involved because, well, no one cares about anything but money. I didn't really want to cheat anyone out of their hard-earned cash, or make them so suspicious of fellow lj-ers that they never open their pocketbooks to any worthy cause ever again. I just wanted to prove to a cynic what kind, generous, easily-gulled people you all are.

I'm sorry if you believed me and are upset. I promise to donate money to the bicycle burn ward at St. Crispin's Hospital, just as soon as I sell my autographed, first edition of Leonard Nimoy's poetry. Therefore you should just get over yourselves.

Oh, and all of you who picked on szandara just for questioning my story? Really and truly you're the bad people. She made sense and you should have believed her. Why would you fall for a story like this? What a bunch of rubes.

Anyway, my bad, sorry again! Hope none of you ever really gets sick or in an accident or anything, cuz, wow, lj people aren't going to be generous at all!!!
LinkReply

Comments:
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
[User Picture]From: thejunebug
2005-07-15 10:58 am (UTC)
People actually believed that?

Guess they don't know sarcasm when they see it.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:00 am (UTC)
(No, of course no one actually believed it. But I could hardly do the beginning of it without finishing it off.)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: shezan
2005-07-15 11:04 am (UTC)
Yu mean you didn't collect a single cent? Poor, poor, poor bike!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:05 am (UTC)
About $9.00, actually. Which REALLY cracks me up!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: ser_kai
2005-07-15 11:07 am (UTC)
I never saw the burger thing due to not having any 'Net. Would have donated despite my own constrained economic circumstances.

Didn't believe your bike thing after the bike hospital/$5000 thing. Could never cost that much. --> Realised it was a joke or something.

Luv ya, Gini. :-)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:14 am (UTC)
Just so you aren't utterly confused forever about this the impetus was [Unknown LJ tag]"'s "burned cat" fiasco. If you missed that, none of this would have made any sense.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: wolflady26
2005-07-15 11:09 am (UTC)
That's quite possibly the best icon ever.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:16 am (UTC)
I had to make it. It will be my "friend indeed" icon from now on.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: tevriel
2005-07-15 11:09 am (UTC)
Shock! Gasp!

You are such a sick sick person and you should feel really ashamed of yourself and I hope YOU get set on fire next but I WON'T SEND YOU ANY MONEY.

You suuuuuck!!!1!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:15 am (UTC)
I know. I'm bad. Sorry.

That's it, right? All forgiven now?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tevriel
2005-07-15 11:12 am (UTC)
Also, how dare you let szandara take the heat for YOUR lies? That is so so wrong! You are a bad friend!

etc.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:15 am (UTC)
My bad.

etc.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: going_not_gone
2005-07-15 11:19 am (UTC)

die die die die die you horrible person!

You know, I think everyone in the known universe deserves a deep, heartfelt, abject, groveling apology from you, including several paragraphs in which you confess what a slimy pathetic worthless loser you are, and promise to spend your life waitressing in a cheap dive as self-imposed punishment for your horribleness, living on expired cheez whiz and moldy crackers so you can donate ALL your tips to a fund to buy bicycles for the poor.

And if you don't do that, you deserve to be chewed to death by rabid weasels, because based on the above, I don't think you're really sorry. And that makes you the absolute WORST person ever. I mean, Saddam Hussein and Hitler would spit on you, if they weren't already dead. You are the epitome of moral bankruptcy, calling you pond scum is an insult to algae, you suck.

I'm just grateful this is over and your victims can attempt to rebuild their shattered lives.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 11:22 am (UTC)

Re: die die die die die you horrible person!

Uh uh, I am really sorry. You should feel sorry for me for having to feel as sorry as I feel!

Wow, aren't you people bored yet? You should all just go away.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dreagoddess
2005-07-15 11:42 am (UTC)
...Then who are those people I got arrested for bike burning?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sacramentalist
2005-07-15 11:57 am (UTC)
Bicycle burning? Are they charged with a hate crime?

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: littlebuhnee
2005-07-15 12:15 pm (UTC)
Marry me.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 12:54 pm (UTC)
You'll have to ask our husbands.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ohhjuliet
2005-07-15 12:41 pm (UTC)
hehe I thought it was a joke... i laughed hysterically and scrolled on past... (in hindsight, I'm glad your bike wasn't torched as laughing at such a situation would just have made me an asshole... ;) )
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 12:57 pm (UTC)
Did you see the original fiasco on city_glitter's journal? That really does explain everything.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: aintesduck
2005-07-15 01:12 pm (UTC)
I'm willing to donate (rummages through pockets) $1.36 to prove what a generous person I am, but I don't trust PayPal and I'm too lazy to mail it so you have to come pick it up.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: his_angel
2005-07-15 01:46 pm (UTC)
But I believed you!! I even posted a link in my journal and everything. All the tears I shed reading about your bike being burned. The concern that I felt. How bad and guilty I felt about not having the money to contribute.

If anything you have single-handedly corrupted my faith in my fellow Lj'ers. I hope you're happy with yourself and your little experiment. One's bike being set on fire is not something you should lie about.

His ~angel~

;)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 02:00 pm (UTC)
I know. I'm bad. I acknowledge your anger.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: brujah
2005-07-15 01:51 pm (UTC)
I love you like a million percent.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 02:01 pm (UTC)
I have a certain trepidation that people who didn't totally understand the first time around are going to be completely confused and hate me forever, so it's good to hear!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: cathubodva
2005-07-15 01:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, people, grow up. She screwed up, she was a bitch, she lied and said cruel things about her friends. So what? Get over yourselves.

And before you start saying I don't understand, I do. I've lost bikes before because I couldn't afford the bills. What she did was wrong. Very wrong.

But, that being said, I know I have more important things to do with my life than sit here and insult her over teh el_jay. Like go sit in Barnes and Noble and wait for them to open those damn boxes already.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 02:02 pm (UTC)
Oo, Harry Potter!!!!! We can distract them all with Harry Potter!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mishamish
2005-07-15 02:54 pm (UTC)
I... I just don't know what to say to you... :-(
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 02:58 pm (UTC)
I'm so ashamed.

So it's okay.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ladyortyger
2005-07-15 03:05 pm (UTC)
I can't believe you'd be so sick as to perpetuate this kind of horrible lie on your friends.

I hope someone sets fire to YOU!

--

*giggle* I would take the burger for you.. in two meals maybe *shudder*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 03:07 pm (UTC)
Wow, this apologizing is hard work. ...

;-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: theferrett
2005-07-15 03:50 pm (UTC)
The sad part is that I actually do own a first-edition copy of Leonard Nimoy's poetry ("You and I"). It's not autographed, though.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 03:52 pm (UTC)
Wow. And here I thought I was choosing something absurdly ridiculous.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: moocowrich
2005-07-15 03:56 pm (UTC)
As penance for this heinous act, you should do Blog-A-Thon. But not as a Blog-A-Thon. Instead, it should be Burger-Thon wherein you eat a burger every half hour (or maybe hour) for a day. And post pictures and reactions.

Hmm...that's not a half bad idea. Maybe I should do that.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-15 03:59 pm (UTC)
You are welcome to that idea! I'd pay to see it!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: kmg_365
2005-07-15 04:25 pm (UTC)
Hope none of you ever really gets sick or in an accident or anything, cuz, wow, lj people aren't going to be generous at all!!!

To be fair, I was going to send you money - both to keep you from eating the burger and to help get your bike back up on its tires. I was waiting for the $73 million to be deposited into my bank account by this really cool guy from Nigeria.

It's been over a week...I wonder what's holding it up?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sneakingyoda
2005-07-15 04:48 pm (UTC)
It was a good joke- and I would say the icon/picture you got out of it was worth more than money. :) So you win!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: conuly
2005-07-15 05:00 pm (UTC)
You... lied to us? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: listenshesings
2005-07-15 05:00 pm (UTC)
I really couldn't believe she did that. how stupid do you have to be?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: beckyzoole
2005-07-15 06:01 pm (UTC)
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO szandara??????? SHE HAS BEEN MY BEST FREIND ON THE INTRANETS FOR LIKE TWO HOURS NOW AND I WILL DEFEDN HER FOREVER AN EVER!!!!!!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: quizzicalsphinx
2005-07-15 06:19 pm (UTC)
My faith in my fellow man is shattered. I'm going out to sodomise nuns with a rolled-up Necronomicon now.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2005-07-15 07:40 pm (UTC)
I....I....I'm stunned.....

...and will be certain, once my neurology reconnects, to give you all due credit for that particular line when I most certainly use it in the future...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2005-07-15 07:38 pm (UTC)
Aw, dammit.... You've trashed my faith in people. I mean, people wouldn't put something up on the Internet that wasn't true, would they? Who could live with themselves by lying to so many people all at once??? I...I thought God made us all better than that...*sniff* Gosh darnit, to heck with you, and everyone else who's going to ask for my help! Life is just too cruel to...

*snicker*

*snort* *cough* *LLLAAAAAUUHHHGGGGHHHHHHHH.......*

Again, I've gotta hand it to you! Great job of parodying that whole nightmare. Thanks for the laugh; I needed it today. Interestingly, I noted that she's not posted anything since her apology about 10 days ago. Given the number of comments and the proportion I'd seen before that were blasts, it wouldn't surprise me if she's packed up and moved to avoid legal consequences...
(Reply) (Thread)
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>