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At 3am I was in hysterics, hurting so bad that I couldn't control my… - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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[Feb. 20th, 2003|07:03 am]
Zoethe
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[Current Mood |gloomygloomy]

At 3am I was in hysterics, hurting so bad that I couldn't control my shaking. I'd tried a night without the drugs, numbing myself with a couple stiff drinks before climbing into bed.

Not really terribly successful. At 3am, I was certain that I couldn't keep this up, that someting would have to give. At 3, I was ready to kill myself just to stop the pain.

Because I've been on pain meds for almost a month and a half now. And I've reached the end of the perscription of Percodan. And I'm terrified that the doc really won't give me more this time.

I am so not-100% at anything right now - not 100% at work, certainly not at school, physcially feel like I'm falling apart. I can't sleep, so I can't get up early enough to do a really good job studying.

I'm having serious doubts about making it through this semester.
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