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The Quivering Edge of Self-Control - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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The Quivering Edge of Self-Control [Oct. 12th, 2005|04:58 pm]
[Current Mood |hungrygreedy]

I was okay, up until 20 minutes ago. Then I saw them:

Trick-or-treat-sized bags of candy corn, tossed casually into a Halloween candy dish on the counter between two secretaries.

Now, there are always candy opportunities around here. My attorney has a large jar of chocolate-covered caramels on her desk, continually replenished. The counter on which the Halloween dish sits always has a seasonal dish of goodies. They regularly appear in the kitchen. Since January of last year, I have been casually ignoring the cavalcade of sweets.

But.... Candy corn....

Intellectually, I know it's vile. It tastes like sugar and wax and a bit of vanilla. There is nothing about candy corn that slots it into my self-discipline of only eating delicious things.

The problem is, I love it. This is not the love built only of nostalgia, doomed to disappointment upon first taste. I know, because the other day there was an open dish of candy corn at the comic book shop and I grabbed a couple. And then a few more. And then had to physically remove myself from the presence of the bowl to cease eating them. For whatever reason, the critical portion of my mind siezes up in the presence of candy corn and I am incapable of finding it anything but delicious.

I know that part of my plan was not depriving myself of things I really want. But I also know that candy corn is one of those things that will trigger compulsive eating. Presented with a 2-pound bag of candy corn, I would proceed to devour the entire two pounds, and feel sick, and say "yes, thank you" to the next 2-pound bag proffered.

It is crack in a triangle of carcinogenic food coloring.

And so, I did not allow myself to take even one of those tiny bags, for I knew that if I broke the seal I would be back for more. It's all I can do to keep myself from grabbing one on the way to school.

Halloween really can't be over soon enough.

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[User Picture]From: kizayaen
2005-10-12 09:13 pm (UTC)
Hear, hear.
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[User Picture]From: fyarr
2005-10-12 09:17 pm (UTC)
Candy corn is evil and vile.. but I have a bag of it, along with those little pumpkins, on my desk at home even now. I know after I eat a few I'll be reminded of exactly why I don't like the way they taste.. but, it's very easy to forget after you stop eating them for a few minutes and think to yourself "Hmm.. I could just snag a couple pieces of candy corn.."

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[User Picture]From: cathubodva
2005-10-12 09:18 pm (UTC)
Ugh. I hate candy corn. To the point, actually, where I won't even eat it. I guess I should consider myself lucky. :)
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From: (Anonymous)
2005-10-12 11:23 pm (UTC)
For you candy corn is how I feel about Peeps. I can't imagine how people even put them in their mouths.
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From: crystalsage
2005-10-12 09:31 pm (UTC)
But its not over at Halloween, you know.

Cause then you have the Halloween leftovers. And if you have kids like I do, that can last for weeks.

Then there's the ramp-up for Christmas.

And then the holidays in general.

And after Christmas.

We lose more healthy lifestyles this way.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:20 pm (UTC)
Most of the rest of it, I can resist quite well. I don't know what it is with candy corn.
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From: genericrick
2005-10-12 09:36 pm (UTC)
The little candy pumpkins are one of my primary sources of Halloween joy, so I foresee late-onset SAD should I ever get diabetes. :P
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[User Picture]From: hihankara
2005-10-12 10:50 pm (UTC)
OMG me too!!! I love it. Pumpkins, not corn. :P And nip off the green stems first. :)
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[User Picture]From: thejunebug
2005-10-12 09:38 pm (UTC)
As someone who just ate mass amounts of candy corn and now feels very, very ill... I know what you mean. :P
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[User Picture]From: leila82
2005-10-12 09:42 pm (UTC)
Candy corn - I don't know why everyone thinks they're so bad. I love them! Massive sugar overload in tiny pellet form.
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[User Picture]From: lubedpumpkin
2005-10-12 09:45 pm (UTC)
The entire batch of Candy Corn was created in 1935, and every year Brachs sends out employees to dig it out of the dumpster and re-package it to sell it again..


/ no apologies to Lewis Black
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:25 pm (UTC)
Do they dig up all the fruitcake at the same time?
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From: wildcelticrose
2005-10-12 09:51 pm (UTC)
OMG !!!

I simply MUST find Candy Corn

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:27 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: shadefell
2005-10-12 09:56 pm (UTC)
I only like candy corn for one thing... plunging my canines into them and pretending I'm a vampire with horrific tooth care!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:27 pm (UTC)
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From: i_aldarion
2005-10-12 10:11 pm (UTC)
I absolutely LOVE candy corn... it is one of my favourite candies, and I rejoice every time halloween comes around. I love the mellow sweetness as they fall apart in my mouth, creating mild-flavoured sweet paste of WONDERFULNESS.

But then, I have odd tastes. Good luck in your mission to avoid the halloween candy, milady. I admire your self-restraint. :-)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:30 pm (UTC)
Stop! You're killing me!!!
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From: tauu
2005-10-12 10:16 pm (UTC)
Candy corn is your weakness, too!?!??!?!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:28 pm (UTC)
Isn't it sad?!
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[User Picture]From: fortuna_juvat
2005-10-12 11:08 pm (UTC)
My method of candy corn procurement.

Find a pack of active children, preferably those who belong to overworked parents. Escort children around while trick-or-treating, usually until it feels like your legs are going to fall off and the children have slight dents in their energy level.

Go home and trade the kids chocolate for their candy corn. Eat only what you can trade for. :)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-12 11:29 pm (UTC)
Not a bad plan. But I don't have any trick-or-treat aged little buddies but one, and she's too little for a successful haul.
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[User Picture]From: dreagoddess
2005-10-12 11:33 pm (UTC)
See, I can pass up candy corn, though I'm fond of it. The hardest part for me is Easter, with the Cadbury caramel eggs. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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[User Picture]From: ivorygrace7
2005-10-14 02:07 pm (UTC)
Yes! The Cadbury eggs are so tempting...and it seems that every store has a display right up front...and they start putting them out so early now!!!

They are one of my major weaknesses too!
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[User Picture]From: cathawk
2005-10-12 11:50 pm (UTC)
Yikes, they have exactly the same effect on me. I wish I knew why! *sigh*
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-13 01:57 am (UTC)
I think it's a secret ingredient. Maybe Soylent Green.
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