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OMG TEH INTARWEB IS FALLING!! - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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OMG TEH INTARWEB IS FALLING!! [Oct. 18th, 2005|05:05 am]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |crankycranky]

Okay, I've gotten some dumb chain letters in the past, but this one takes the cake. The title was YAHOO IS CLOSING DOWN! and the body was:


Dear YAHOO User,
Because of the sudden rush of people signing up to YAHOO, it has come to our attention that we are vastly running out of resources. So, within a month's time,anyone who does not receive this email with the exact subject heading,will be deleted off our server. Please forward this email so that we know you are still using this account.
We want to find out which users are actually using their YAHOO accounts. So if you are using your account, please pass this e-mail to every YAHOO user that you can and IF YOU DO NOT PASS this letter to anyone we will delete your account.

From Mr. ALLEN SMITH
YAHOO Admin. Dept.

Our YAHOO system is getting too crowded!! We need you to forward this to at least 20 people. I know this seems like a large number, but we need to find out who is really using their account. If you do not send this to at least 10 YAHOO members, we will delete your account. Sorry for this inconvenience.


Sincerely, Director of YAHOO Services
BOB LOPEZ


The boggling part was the 23 sets of email headers I had to scroll past to get to that amusing little gem. I'm baffled at how stupid people continue to be. My fantasy follow-up to such a letter would be a letter from yahoo to the forwarders:

Dear customer:

It has come to our attention that you are the sort of Chicken Little bonehead who forwards every piece of crap that shows up in your email box. Therefore, for the good of the internet, we are closing your yahoo account, and informing your ISP server that you are an idiot. You will be banned from the internet by the end of the day, and a service tech will arrive before the weekend to take away your computer and maybe bitchslap you a bit - we aren't positive about that last part; it'll depend on how much of a git the service tech decides you are. We give them a lot of leeway in this matter, as it seems to improve their morale. I know this seems drastic, but it is necessary to save the internet from morons like you. Sorry for the inconvenience.
LinkReply

Comments:
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[User Picture]From: losgunna
2005-10-18 09:19 am (UTC)
I have to say, it's one of the more unique ones I've seen, and while irritating, doesn't actually seem to harm your system or anything. *sigh* Stupid people suck!

Did you at least forward it to Yahoo?
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[User Picture]From: losgunna
2005-10-18 09:26 am (UTC)
*laugh* I was just poking to see what Snope had to say about it....and apparently the email started in 1999, with Hotmail.

I'm impressed :)
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[User Picture]From: theonlykow
2005-10-18 09:36 am (UTC)
...and what's stopping you from sending that to people?

I almost lost some friends because they wouldn't stop sending me piddling, triffling bullshit like that (and the things that tell the wholesome, heartstring plucking tale of Sally who needs a new breast transplant or her daughter's daughter will grow up without a stepgrandmother) and when I tell them off in person they act all upset, as though it's their right to bother me with such crap. Le sigh.

If it was anonymous mo's on the internet I would have no problem shooting off an evil, evil letter. Thank God I have friends that don't believe in the FWD: tag.
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[User Picture]From: roniliquidity
2005-10-18 11:24 am (UTC)
seconded. Send your reply to the idiot that sent the chain letter to you. Chances are, they aren't email savvy enough to realize it's not actually from Yahoo.
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[User Picture]From: scarletdemon
2005-10-18 09:45 am (UTC)
Yahoo is closing down? OMFG!!! Thanks for the heads up!




Hahahaha!
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2005-10-18 10:23 am (UTC)
They forgot the part about having seven years bad luck!
And the testimonies about the guy who MEANT to send it and forgot, then his cat died and he lost his job, but then he remembered the letter and sent it, and he got a BETTER job, and THREE cats came to his door for him to adopt, and ..and..

Man, I hate these. Ans when it's from someone I know, my respect dies a little.
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[User Picture]From: jadziaesq
2005-10-18 10:39 am (UTC)
Aren't they annoying???????
And sometimes we wish that the last one will come true.
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[User Picture]From: kibbles
2005-10-18 10:47 am (UTC)
See, Yahoo would NEVER give any warning for something like that just like when they deleted several years of my saved emails last spring...silly fools, thinking Yahoo would actually NOTIFY their customers that they were going to do something.

(And for the record I know many people who had the same thing happen before people jump on me for saying shit about Yahoo.)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 10:54 am (UTC)
Well, geez, it's not like you were USING them or anything!!

*cough*
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[User Picture]From: momlady
2005-10-18 11:06 am (UTC)
Except for the fact that this was a chain letter, I'd almost believe it. I had an account with Yahoo! for several years, and then all of a sudden it was gone...my password wouldn't work (or I didn't remember it) so I signed up for a new password and that didn't work either. Then I get an email (different than yours) and just to see where it went, I clicked the link. It went to a completely Spanish web site. I tried to make a different account, and right away I had problems. I'm on my third one now, in less than 3 months; this one might stay. So, inspite of the chain letter, I have issues with Yahoo!

I get a lot of these kinds of letters. They just get dumped. I even got one about PayPal....
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[User Picture]From: roadnotes
2005-10-18 11:11 am (UTC)
That's impressive. And I definitely approve of your follow-up letter.
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[User Picture]From: kmg_365
2005-10-18 12:22 pm (UTC)
Perhaps if Bob Lopez would just give that nice Nigerian guy his bank account information, the millions that would be funnelled to him could be use to increase Yahoo's bandwidth.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 12:36 pm (UTC)
And all our problems will be solved!
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[User Picture]From: donkey_hokey
2005-10-18 12:41 pm (UTC)
Heh.. I've stoppped passing on info about Snopes.com a long time ago, since it alwasy seems to get forgotten the next time a story about live organ transplants or boycotting gas stations shows up. Or else it gets people pissed at me. I just delete them, and my respect for the sender's wisdom drops down a tiny notch.

I'd love to send a followup email like yours to these people, but they're usually friends and relatives, and I want them to stay friends.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 12:44 pm (UTC)
You could forward their addresses to me and *I* could send the letter. As a kind of public service.

;-)
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[User Picture]From: zarhooie
2005-10-18 12:44 pm (UTC)
Why make it a fantasy? Make it a personal policy! You will make the intarwebs a better place.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 12:46 pm (UTC)
I lack the muscle for enforcement?
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[User Picture]From: aehallh
2005-10-18 12:51 pm (UTC)
I can't count the number of times I've gotten that. Most amusing to me is that I mostly get it to accounts that aren't the standard webmail accounts, they're email accounts off the webservers my husband and I own and operate.

Your fantasy letter had me laughing, though. Oh, how I wish I could send that out to people. =o)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 12:56 pm (UTC)
I'm tempted to start doing so, honestly.
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From: wildcelticrose
2005-10-18 01:04 pm (UTC)
You'd be amazed how many people DO forward all this crap on.

I've got one or two people that I send links to snopes.com to on a frequent basis.

~L
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 01:06 pm (UTC)
I'm snarly with people, and very soon they leave me off their lists.
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[User Picture]From: supremegoddess1
2005-10-18 01:06 pm (UTC)
I'm also fond of the spam from banks with whom I do not have an account informing me that I must immediately log in to save my account.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 01:09 pm (UTC)
Phishing is in another category entirely - that's people trying to scam you. It's evil, but it's purposeful.

This is urban legend panic. 23 headers of forwarding for me to get that ridiculous, bandwidth-chewing piece of garbage.
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[User Picture]From: hugh_mannity
2005-10-18 01:13 pm (UTC)
If only it was AOL....

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-18 01:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, it has been, in the past.
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