Oh god...these are good. I'll have to start a Notepad file to start keeping track.
I'm with you on the balconies thing. I rock climb, I love the window seat when flying, but get me on the edge of a tall building and I get this weird vertigo and I'm afraid I'm going to spontaneously fling myself off the balcony. I do the same thing while cutting up things cooking too - "I hope I don't seriously cut myself", then I cut myself. Stupid, stupid mind.
2005-10-31 09:34 pm (UTC)
"...something about walking on those balconies freaks me out. I have this terror that I will suddenly jump over the edge - not commit suicide, but just somehow accidentally jump on impulse. Without thinking. Reflexively. It's stupid, but it's always present when I'm in the damned places."
I have this, but in all high places where there's some sort of opening to the drop-off. So in skyscrapers, I'm basically okay, at least until I get to the observation deck on top. On cliff paths, balconies, rooftops, and so on, the head begins to swim a bit.
As I once heard or read, the fear of heights is not the fear of falling. It's the fear of jumping.
It's weird to me, though, that I am pretty much unbothered by this fear in natural environs. Only buildings bring it on.
And it's not always the fear of jumping. John (my ex) is terribly scared of heights, to the point of one time almost being paralyzed on a relatively mild slope - it was steep, but walkable. But he was on all fours, in a crab position, unable to move, cold sweat running down his face. He'd climbed up just fine, but the prospect of working his way back down had him undone. There was no clear edge for jumping; this was all fear of falling.
And I do now recall being terrified in the outdoors, when a Sierra Club hike I was on required the traverse of a rockslide chute that had been cut away. We were crossing unstable, tippy rocks where a fall could easily mean tumbling over the face and dropping 50 feet into boulders. I was terrified, but not one gram of that was fear that I might jump.
Hey, I needed a distraction from today's tedium! Thanks!
4. High atriums in hotels/balconies . . . I have this terror that I will suddenly jump over the edge - not commit suicide, but just somehow accidentally jump on impulse. Without thinking. Reflexively. It's stupid, but it's always present when I'm in the damned places.
I have this exact same thing! I've started getting it in other places too, but it's always most pronounced on artificial structures like that. I'm sure there's some psychological cause, but I have no idea what.
In the movie version of Prisoner of Azkhaban when the bogart appeared as a snake and was changed into a clown, my thought was, "SHIT! Bring back the snake!"
Haha, me too. Everytime I watch it now, I have to close my eyes at that part because I love snakes but am terrified of clowns. Especially that clown - it's particularly creepy-looking!
Interesting idea. Thanks for putting it out there, especially as I'd been wanting something else to post as I've been so LJ-inactive of late.
I can relate to several of thsoe, especially 1, 4, 9 and 10.
This was my idea! I'm sulking like Ferrett said he does, when he doesn't get credit! :P
And that man who tried to drown you...What a clownhole.
Oh, boo! I didn't realize it was original! I shall correct immediately!
Thanks darlin'. I sort or battered my brain yesterday, trying to think of something to write about Halloween, so I felt a bit possessive about it. I probably need to get out more. ;)
Thanks! (If you mean mine, heh), my friend bonobo_theory
made it for me, using a thing called Poser.
"ROUGHHOUSING?!?!?!" Is that what he called it?!>?!? Please tell me the mother of his children got wind of this and cut his balls off for thinking that holding a kid's - ANY kid's - head underwater was mere "roughhousing."
2005-11-01 03:45 am (UTC)
In his defense, his kids were teenage boys of 16 and 17, big strapping fellows. I had the disadvantage of a very short haircut.
Wait...you would've had boobs by the time you were old/tall enough to be mistaken for a 16/17 year old boy! I'm back to "WTF?!?!!"
2005-11-01 10:21 am (UTC)
I was under water. I had really short hair. There was splashing....
I'm not saying it wasn't mightily stupid of him, but I don't think it was intentional. I'm horribly amused to find myself defending him, though. [g]
I have this terror that I will suddenly jump over the edge - not commit suicide, but just somehow accidentally jump on impulse. Without thinking. Reflexively
This is exactly why I hate tall buildings. I find myself on my toes leaning if brought to high up balconies and most of the time I'm not really aware of it.
I'm not a fan of the crowd thing either. I get very anxious and stressed. I try not to think too much of population and sprawl because that stuff really flips me out.
OMG, I thought I was the *only* one with the high atriums thing. When I have to be on one, I cling to the wall as much as possible, because I am *positive* that somehow I will accidentally throw myself off of it.
I also have the "crowds" thing.
You are definitely not alone - several other people expressed the same fear. It's reassuring to know it's at least a shared insanity!
Number 10 on your list is one of the things I can't stand right now. I don't have enough family left to lose any more of them. And *hugs*