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SHAFT-ed - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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SHAFT-ed [Nov. 7th, 2005|03:02 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |cynicalcynical]

I think that Samuel L. Jackson should just cut to the chase and title his projects, "Dude, you gotta be fucking kidding."

First there was "Snakes on a Plane." That's in post-production now, due for a spring release.

Now he's working on Black Snake Moan. It's bad enough that he's apparently hit on a theme for his movie titles, but the plot itself is...well, judge for yourself:

Plot Outline: The plot involves a white nymphomaniac who must be "cured" of her disorder by an older black bluesman

I can hear the "bow-chickawow" music already.

So why is one of America's premiere actors choosing projects that scream absurdity - or pornography? It could be that his agent hates him. Or that he has a private side bet to see how bad they can get before people stop coming. But I have my own theory.

I think George Lucas has sapped his will to live. I picture Sam Jackson sitting in a darkened room, his head hanging almost to his knees. Producers come in with scripts and contracts. "Whatever," he says, sighing deeply as he signs onto Afro Samurai. "There's really no point anymore, is there? In the end, I died like a bitch."
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: longtimegone
2005-11-07 08:27 pm (UTC)
BLACK SNAKE MOAN? AHHAHAHAHAHA

Oh my god. That sounds beyond comically bad. :))
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2005-11-07 08:30 pm (UTC)
"It's sucking my will to live!"
- Garth, Wayne's World
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[User Picture]From: geekjul
2005-11-07 08:30 pm (UTC)
I think he went to the Christopher Walken School of Career Management. And he got an A in Mighty Big Paychecks 101.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-11-07 08:36 pm (UTC)
Michael Caine went there, too!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-11-07 08:35 pm (UTC)
I'm goin' to Snakes on a Plane, no doubt.

And, yeah, Christina Ricci's in it. But her career's been dotted with stinkers, too.
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From: lovejunkie1012
2005-11-07 08:42 pm (UTC)
"Afro Samurai" - FRIGGIN HAHA!
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From: (Anonymous)
2005-11-07 08:44 pm (UTC)

"Afro Samurai"

This movie may have been made. I caught a martial arts flick on late night TV years ago and never got the title. I'm under the impression that it was made in the 70's. Where I tuned in a black guy was ship-wrecked on an island (I guess) with two or three Japanese war refugees that are just hangin' there. For whatever reason they teach him the art of the sword. He is rescued and goes after his enemies.
Does anyone know what this is? IMDB is no help. I can't find it with Google.

JMS
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[User Picture]From: kmg_365
2005-11-07 08:51 pm (UTC)
There's really no point anymore, is there? In the end, I died like a bitch.

Hey, all Samuel asked was that he not go out like a punk. Going out like a bitch? That's a whole different kettle of fish.

Perhaps he is choosing these roles because he isn't taking this all too seriously. Maybe we look at a film plot and groan, wondering what happened to his sense of artistic standards. He may look at it with the following equation:

me + (most likely) hot nymphomaniac = fun

Can't argue with that logic ;)
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From: corranhorn
2005-11-07 09:12 pm (UTC)
Amen. And I don't think he went out like a bitch anyway. If it had been Mace vs. Anakin, the bad muthafucka would have wiped the floors with that whiny punk. If it had been Mace vs. Palpatine, same net result, sans the whining (and more electricity). But Mace vs. both of them? He's going to die.
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[User Picture]From: kmg_365
2005-11-07 08:55 pm (UTC)
First there was "Snakes on a Plane." That's in post-production now, due for a spring release.

I think a broader question would be: what's with all these films about things going down on planes? There was that Jodie Foster film this year about a woman losing her daughter while she was on the plane. I'm sure there is more to the story than that, but when I watched the trailer, I thought "uh...it's a plane...how many places are there to hide a kid?"

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[User Picture]From: kid_lit_fan
2005-11-07 10:27 pm (UTC)
I think George Lucas has sapped his will to live.

As I said in my review of RotS, I've never seen an actor outside of an elementary school production who looked more embarrassed to be somewhere. The loud special effects covered the sound of him sighing with relief as he got to finally leave.
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[User Picture]From: theonlykow
2005-11-08 02:19 am (UTC)
It's been titled Black Snake Moan for about a year now.

I think I'm the only person who thinks the movie looks good and the title is different in an equally good way, haha. I can see the ridiculousness of it, though.
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[User Picture]From: vespurrs
2005-11-07 10:57 pm (UTC)
I am giggling like a mad giggling thing. It's all your fault! :)
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[User Picture]From: brujah
2005-11-08 12:49 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-11-08 03:15 am (UTC)
Man's always had a sense of humor, I give him that.
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From: genericrick
2005-11-08 04:02 am (UTC)
"Snakes on a Plane"? You've got to be kidding me.

Please don't link me to the IMDB: I enjoy my brain and don't want it to explode. :(
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[User Picture]From: amberite
2005-11-11 04:07 pm (UTC)
I'm afraid it's Halle Berry syndrome, and that makes me hate America.

Halle Berry syndrome: Sometimes decent roles for black actors just go out of style, as if black people just don't EXIST in the minds of hollywood producers except as a recurrent fad, and when the fad is out they gotta take shit like "Catwoman."

Jackson's just getting people to sign his checks. And that's pretty sad. Not the worst thing he could do. Cheeze is better than blaxploitation. :P
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