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T-minus 4 days and counting - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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T-minus 4 days and counting [Jul. 21st, 2006|12:53 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |cynicaldetermined!]

I burst into Ferrett's office just a few minutes ago.

"Good news!" said I. "I've got my fear back!"

"Really?" said he. "How?"

I smiled. "I don't know jack-shit about Civil Procedure!"

He grinned back. "Excellent!"

Now, it's not really true that I know nothing about CivPro. I know enough to read through test questions and spot the issues. But I don't have it down enough to regurgitate all the rules at will. And that worries me.

This is a good thing.

You see, Tuesday and Wednesday I took a simulated test that was the length of about 3/4ths of the actual exam. And I did very well - about 72%, which is a very comfortable passing grade (60% = pass).

Despite giving myself a stern talking-to, all this success was pulling me into complacency. It's been a long, exhausting grind, and reviewing the same material time and again is getting freakin' boring, no matter how I slice it up. Intellectually, I understood that this is all "cram knowledge," surface knowledge, not deeply embedded and easily lost without review.

But damn. Concentration is hard to maintain when a little part of you keeps whining, "You know this! There are better things to do! Bored now!!!" Superego can hold out only so long against id without the fuel of adrenaline. Yesterday's "lunch with a friend" turned into "all afternoon off." Yesterday and today the 4:30 alarm was shut off in preference for the 7:30 alarm. And reviewing the answers I'd gotten wrong on the MBE was not triggering anything: okay, dumb reading mistake...ah, THAT'S how that's interpreted, got it now...gee THAT wasn't in the outline; it won't fool me again.... Nothing to make me concerned about any serious gaps in my knowledge of the multistate topics. Ho-hum, maybe I'll skim a couple outlines and then go clean the kitchen.

Then I hit the CivPro essay questions. Holy shit, do I have some work left to do.

Thank the Maker. I'm snapped back around now. Final cram mode. Let's roll.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: throbinson
2006-07-21 05:20 pm (UTC)
I feel ya. My son takes the VA bar next week, and I am consciously leaving him alone (of course my mom still calls him EVERY FREAKIN DAY to check up). He is very distractible too, so I don't want to give him the excuse.

I know you'll do well, though. I just do.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 11:59 am (UTC)
My family is completely leaving me alone. I figure I will call them all during the two-hour drive to Columbus on Monday and get their well-wishes.
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[User Picture]From: ohhjuliet
2006-07-21 05:48 pm (UTC)
Congrats on knowing nothing about civil procedure! That's fabulous!!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 12:01 pm (UTC)
Ain't it great! ;-)
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[User Picture]From: butterandjelly
2006-07-21 07:13 pm (UTC)
Keep on truckin! I fully expect to be at a superfun "celebrate passing the bar" party this year!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 12:01 pm (UTC)
November. It's a long time to have to wait to find out....
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[User Picture]From: butterandjelly
2006-07-22 12:06 pm (UTC)
Yes, it is. But really, that just gives us more time to plan the party :-)

(I had to wait two months for my exam results. It really sucked but I was busy enough that it wasn't at the forefront of my mind. I recommend that busy thing to keep yourself from dwelling.)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 12:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, believe me, there will be plenty of busy - first vacation and then getting back into the swing of work, plus taming the jungle that my garden has become. And we really should paint inside come September. Plus getting back to riding my bike. (I stopped a few weeks ago because all I need is to take a spill and break my wrist!) I think I will be plenty busy!
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[User Picture]From: butterandjelly
2006-07-22 03:21 pm (UTC)
It certainly sounds that way! Perhaps we can sneak in a social night as a means of fun distraction :-)
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2006-07-21 07:37 pm (UTC)
Good on you! I hope the motivation holds, and that the fear stays at that good, productive middle level that keeps you moving and alert but not so freaked out you can't think straight or make foolish mistakes.

Fingers are crossed, prayers being mumbled (which is making my co-workers look at me kinda funny), and positive intentions goin' out for you!

*hugs*
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 12:01 pm (UTC)
So far, it is. I'm still nervous enough to keep working (this is actually a break between topics), but I can sleep. I think if I manage to sleep the night before the test, I will start off at a huge advantage over a lot of people!

Thanks!
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2006-07-22 06:36 pm (UTC)
I know for me I've tended to do better when I've slept well the night before a test. It seems to buy me a great deal more than any other cramming or last-minute review. I've alos tended to spend the last 15-30 minutes right before the test doing stuff that's relaxing, if not fun. I got some awfully funny looks reading comic books before one of the last big ones! On the other hand, it's been very useful for being loose and having my head clear when the test itself begins.

My fingers remain crossed for you, my friend.

*hugs*
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-24 01:18 pm (UTC)
We are not allowed to bring magazines, newspapers, or any other written material into the room. No comic books for me!
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2006-07-24 05:52 pm (UTC)
Aaaawwwww....... :{
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-25 12:16 am (UTC)
Yeah, bummer too, because on the way out of town Ferrett stopped by the comic book store to pick up two month's worth of reserves (he's been too busy to get up there). So we have a whole pile of good comics to be read!
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2006-07-25 05:00 pm (UTC)
At least it'll give you something to do before you head over and after you're done for the day.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-26 12:32 am (UTC)
there's email, too! We have a room with wireless.
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2006-07-26 12:57 am (UTC)
Sweet! Plus, you can keep up (at least a bit) with LJ...either for fun or to see how many people are pulling for you.

Fingers are still crossed....which is going to make kung fu tonight real interesting! ;}
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-26 10:21 am (UTC)
Mostly braindead, so not a lot of LJ reading!

No breaking fingers! LOL!
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2006-07-26 03:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't know. I could always work on developing the secret, long-lost Shaolin "Cracked Finger" style! ;}
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From: clothing5
2006-07-21 08:00 pm (UTC)
well let me say Good Luck


because there's nothing more encouraging or helpful than a complete stranger wishing someone luck on the internet.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 10:09 am (UTC)
Hey, I'll take it all at this point!
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[User Picture]From: chrisdoesloans
2006-07-21 11:37 pm (UTC)
I'm pulling for you. I swear it.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 02:08 am (UTC)
Thanks, dude.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 10:08 am (UTC)
Thanks. I love me some Aeryn.

And thanks for the good wishes.
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[User Picture]From: nuala
2006-07-22 11:11 am (UTC)
Hurrah for CivPro! Hang in there! *best cheerleader* Rah!!!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 11:58 am (UTC)
Thanks!
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2006-07-22 11:44 am (UTC)
Good for you, finding motivation after all the long haul you've been through so far!
I do this on a minor scale when superego tells id "you don't have to clean everything, just fill the sink with water and soap and then you can go play!" Works every time. "Well, while the water's still hot, why don't you just use the brush to rinse the loose stuff off?" "Well, hell, the job's so easy now, why don't you just rinse them and pop them in the dishwasher?"

Tearsofaclown and I will both be rooting for you to do a fantabulous job on the bar exam!! You go,girl!!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-07-22 11:58 am (UTC)
Yeah, I do that, too. My newest trick is little page flags: "We just have to finish reading through this one more time to flag all the places that require final run-throughs! And then we will only have to look at the flagged pages after this! Won't that be great?!" Seems to be working.
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[User Picture]From: fitfool
2006-07-28 04:07 am (UTC)
Glad that your fear is at just the right level -- enough to get you moving but not so much as to paralyze you.
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