?

Log in

Mainstreaming Muslims - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Mainstreaming Muslims [Sep. 15th, 2006|07:47 am]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

You know how we'll be able to tell when Islam has been accepted by the mainstream of America?

You'll hear jokes that start like this:

"A rabbi, a priest, and a mullah went fishing...."

(My brain goes to weeeeird places when I'm hearing snooze-bar snatches of Morning Edition.)
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: theferrett
2006-09-15 12:51 pm (UTC)
I agree with this statement.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-09-15 01:18 pm (UTC)
The joke, or that my brain is weird?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: hugh_mannity
2006-09-15 01:18 pm (UTC)
Yep. You've nailed that one!

*tries to continue the joke and fails miserably*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-09-15 01:19 pm (UTC)
Yeah. That's why there aren't jokes yet.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zeldakitty
2006-09-15 01:21 pm (UTC)
"snooze-bar snatches of Morning Edition"

Ah yes, I used to do that myself, hit that snooze bar five or seven or twenty times w/Morning Edition, the most common thing I remember hearing over and over again was (of course) the name Osama bin Laden.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starwatcher307
2006-09-15 01:28 pm (UTC)
.
A Baha'i friend of mine has a T-shirt that reads --

"A priest, a rabbi, a pastor and a mullah were walking along the same road...

                            ...Get it?"

(At least, that's the gist of it. I can't find the post where I wrote it verbatim, a while back.)
.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-09-15 01:53 pm (UTC)
That's brilliant!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starwatcher307
2006-09-15 05:29 pm (UTC)
.
Yes, I love it. And, if I were inclined to subscribe to an organized religion, I think I'd probably go Baha'i because they do seem so all-encompassing -- none of this, 'You can't get to heaven if you don't believe like we do'. But I don't feel the need. My friend nobly refrains from trying to proselytize or "convert" me, which means extra points in favor of the Baha'is, as far as I'm concerned. *g*
.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pheret1
2006-09-15 03:39 pm (UTC)
By changing mullah to imam, I found some. This joke appears to be in its primitive stages. Some blogs have comment threads asking for people to create the jokes, but I still haven't found a *good* one.

One:

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walked into a bar. . .

. . . actually, the imam didn't go into the bar, but before the priest and rabbi went in, they gathered out in front of the bar, and the priest brought up the topic of prayer, saying in a quaint irish accent:

"The best way to pray is on your knees, hands clasped, eyes closed, head bowed, before a crucifix, praying in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Humble yourself under His mighty hand, and he will exhalt you in due time."

The rabbi countered, "no, rather, the best way to pray is to face Jerusalem early in the morning, with the scroll of the law before your eyes, and in your hands, praying in Hebrew, ('cause G-d's a Jew) thanking Hashem for all His blessings."

The imam said, "But we know from the prescription of prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that Allah hears prayers as they are directed toward the holy city of Mecca, bowing and prostrating oneself in submission to Allah, and never without the shahada, the profession of faith."

Just then, an electrician with a hard hat walked by, and said, "All yer prayin' ways don't mean a thing: I did my best praying yellin' at the top of my lungs while hanging by my toes from a high voltage wire."

Two - cartoon - got to click link!

Three

Not a joke, but leads to one, I think. Three is a news story about a soccer game - priests vs. imams; referred by rabbis!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pheret1
2006-09-15 03:42 pm (UTC)
Oh, and my husband's theory is that any ethinic group who would like to grease the way into mainstream American society needs a drinking holiday. (St. Patrick's Day, Octoberfest, Cinco de Mayo, etc.)

Of course, that wouldn't necessarily work for Muslims, but perhaps certain Arab cultures or nations have some holiday or event we can co-opt?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-09-15 09:40 pm (UTC)
Good to see some humor is developing!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jenmcd
2006-09-19 02:54 pm (UTC)
A certain acquaintance of mine constantly tells me and any other poor fool who will listen that Muslims can't be American because their beliefs go against any American beliefs. I'm probably going to get this wrong in one way or another, but hopefully you'll get the gist. He claims that Muslims believe if you are not Muslim, then you are an infidel and must die. Since America is all about our freedoms (or what's left, anyway) which includes freedom of religion, then it goes directly against the Muslim beliefs. They want us dead, but without the tolerance and freedom, this isn't America. He goes on and on and on about that. I'd like to find some proof that he's wrong about something or other in that theory just so I can shut him up. Suggestions?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-09-19 03:48 pm (UTC)
He is right about the radical fundamentalists - but isn't this pretty much true about Dominionist Christians as well?

I don't have time right now to look for a quicker resource, but I highly recommend that he read Karen Armstrong's The Battle For God, an excellent book about fundamentalist thought. Her A History of God is also outstanding.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jenmcd
2006-09-19 04:06 pm (UTC)
That was pretty much my take on it. There's always some crazy radical taking-orthodoxy-to-the-limit fundamentalist sect, and then there are the regular ones who don't take it all so seriously and/or verbatim, and then you have your "in name only" folks. That's true of most religions. This guy thinks they are all the same, yet he happily acknowledges these distinctions exist in most other religions, including his own beloved Christianity. What a hypocrite.

(Suddenly remembering other snippets of conversation in regards to this...) This guy also said that Muslims here in the States say that they are not the same as the Muslim fundamentalists, kind of a "those are the bad ones, we are the good ones." Yet when it comes to the US attacking or defending against those "bad" Muslims, the good ones get all pissy about it and start screaming that we (the US) are killing their brothers. I don't know how much of this is true, but this is what the Mr. Hypocrite claims.

You're an intelligent woman, and I'd like your input on this - when you have time. :o)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-09-19 09:12 pm (UTC)
the good ones get all pissy about it and start screaming that we (the US) are killing their brothers

Okay, this guy sounds like he's getting all his news from Fox. Whereas many Muslims are getting theirs from Al Jezeera. Which is, arguably, just as biased as Fox, but in another direction.

Trying to find a middle road is tough. What your friend should realize is that every time American soldiers kill Iraqis, they aren't always killing terrorists. On a disturbingly regular basis, they are killing innocent civilians, women and children. And that tends to upset people.

It's unfortunate that this fact may not be avoidable, but that does not mean that people are going to like it. Tell him to try and imagine how he'd feel if an invading force showed up in his neighborhood and took over his government and then, in trying to track down terrorists, killed the relatives of his neighbors. Or other Americans in Kansas City. He wouldn't even need to know the people to be outraged. That's how the "good Muslims" feel when they read about these raids. And when they read about them in Al Jezeer, they are getting a lot of details that we don't get. Those details may not all be true, but neither are the ones we get.

Hope this helps.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jenmcd
2006-09-19 09:20 pm (UTC)
I knew there was a reason I came to you with this. :o) Actually you started it with the whole joke thing...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)