You've performed a public service, dear. I had no idea that Spanx were crotchless, and the thought of trying to take them off for the bathroom was one reason I'd resisted!
Spanx is both a godsend and a torture device.
I'm very annoyed at them right now - I have been trying to find a flesh-tone unitard for my dance costumes for-frickin-ever, and finally I broke down and said, "I'll just order something from Spanx and cut the legs off." After a great deal of time trying to find the ultimate combo of right color/right size/right price, I ordered the High Falutin' Footless tights. Ordering went quick, shipping even faster, and when I opened the package... SEAMS. THREE OF THEM. On a garment that is reported (in their ad copy) to be "seamless" and the main point of why I bought it.
*sigh* Now I have to return it, and go back to searching, and July 20th is getting ever closer...
Pics or it didn't happen. :D
Really, though, I just want to see you looking fabulous in that dress. :)
Alas, we didn't take any pics - and I am not climbing into that thing again until I *have* to, which should be for the opera or a black tie event scheduled in a couple months. then we'll remember to take pictures.
Okay, now imagine having to sing in one of those things. XD I had a similar experience for my senior recital last November, and I don't know how well versed in vocal technique you are, but most of your support is supposed to come from your lower body, and having all my fat squeezed into one of those slimming things was pretty hellish when combined with singing. I got used to it by the time it came to performing, but man was it hard! And mine weren't crotchless, unfortunately (they didn't have Spanx at the store I went to).
Damn but I looked good in my recital dress, though. XD
Yeah, I made an attempt to make a couple belly dance moves in it and, not happening.
Now you know why women used to faint all the time!
They have a cheaper (but still well made) line called Assets that you can pick up at Target. I use their nylons all the time in winter, it's like a not-quite-suffocating girdle crossed with nylons (screw every other "control top" pair of hosiery I have ever worn) and they make your figure quite smooth under your clothing. I highly recommend them.
Ooo, I will have to investigate!
Laws and hot dogs...
You are a marvelous writer...
I have to commiserate with you, on the having to go to the bathroom experience. I know exactly where you are coming from there, except my most excruciating experience came as a result of a car accident. There I was, in the ER, strapped to a backboard, and they wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, until my XRays were read, and they cleared me of spinal injuries (my head hit the windshield from the backseat). I begged and pleaded with them to let me go, I really, terribly, seriously HAD to go! They offered me the use of a bedpan. I told them it wouldn't work. So, I had to wait. Finally, I gave in and begged for the bedpan. No luck. Doesn't matter that my eyeballs were floating, and I felt like I was going to explode any minute, I simply could not use that damned pan. It was too much like wetting the bed, or something. The moment they cleared me and unstrapped me from that backboard, I was off like a shot, to the nearest available toilet. Boy, was it ever a relief! It really does seem to be ingrained in us not to have those sorts of 'accidents', no matter how much we know it's not, we have conditioned ourselves that there are certain times that one does not go, such as being 'fully dressed', as you were, or lying in bed, as I was. Interesting how the human mind works at times, isn't it?
I have never been forced to deal with a bedpan. I don't think I could do it, either! We are highly conditioned, indeed.
The lady at LB should have told you to wear it for short durations before wearing it out for the evening. Those things need to be broken in a bit. The fibers relax a little and it's much less torturous. Also, Spanx has a line of less industrial strength undergarments that you can get at LB, that do a good job of smoothing out bumps without feeling like you're wearing a sausage wrapper. They are also really slippery on the outside, so your clothes move nicely over them to keep things from bunching up and binding. They are great for everyday wear, and have fabric with a lot of give in front right at the boob line so you can smooth out any back fat bumps from a bra but not mash down your cleavage. THAT is magic!
I'm not leaping up to run out and buy more models now, but I will keep this in mind. Thanks!
Whoever thought that was a good name for a product needs to retake Marketing 101.
I love my spanx, but mine are crotchless and don't come up past my waist (the result of way too much belly fat and a really long body). I bought them to wear under my bride's maid dress for my best friend's wedding. The good news is that I thought that they went on pretty easily and then I didn't have to pee after I got them on. The bad news is that I didn't have to pee after I got them on and then a couple of months later my kidneys tried to shut down.
I think it was the "buy one size smaller" advice that made mine particular torture.
Kidney shutdown = bad! Hope you're all okay now!
let me just say that not *all* Spanx are crotchless. mine are not, and while I have more or less mastered getting in and out, just as a PSA, don't buy them on the assumption that all of them are. make sure you check first :)
God to know. Thanks for the PSA.
But it sounds as if there is, after all, good news.
The skirts of the hippie/gypsy variety will not require the spanx. Eclectic Boho is my standard mode of dress and it is sumptuously liberating.
I'm loving them. I feel feminine, and it's no tougher to wear than jeans.
"well, thank you for the offer, but my dance card is already full. For some reason that response made me just crack up giggling. ^_^
My work here is done. ;-)
I have a body suit like the one you're describing. Wonderful invention.