"if they are going to continue being stupid and ignoring consequences, well then my compassion dries up and they're on their own."
There is a HUGE difference between being compassionate and allowing someone to take you to the cleaners becuase you are bending backwards to try and safe those that don't want to be saved. I find you letting them sink very compassionate, life will become their teacher....kind of like the thought that god sends a little nudge first then if you didn't learn the lesson the nudge grows until it's a 2 X 4.....for me compassion is seeing them for who they are and allowing them to be that ( even though i wouldn't be that) and letting them grow at their own pace....a teacher of mine used to say we are all going in the same direction, some of us choose to take an airplane, others a bus others choose to walk and others choose to take all the scenic drives and distractions before ever embarking on the path.
I think the problems of society are more complicated than that. Some people aren't ever given much choice in their mode of transportation. But personal responsibility has to kick in somewhere.
2008-07-22 03:49 pm (UTC)
We are obligated to unlock all the doors, but we need not hold them open all day.
It's very true, and I think it's part of the reason why my mother was so smart in letting my older brother make an idiot of himself seven years ago (good lord, it has been that long). Basically, he had a toxic girlfriend, and he let her decide a bunch of stuff for him, such as dropping out of college (twice), getting minimum wage jobs, living in a pig sty, and basically just fucking up his life. My mother, instead of giving them money and trying to help them, basically told me brother that it was his hole, he dug it, and he would have to get himself out of it. And it took him a good four years to do so, but the day he finally dumped that girl and moved to where we are was the day his life started improving. And now he's a college graduate, has a lovely fiancee and a secure job, and is that much wiser for spending those years living paycheck to paycheck and occasionally being evicted from places and listening to that evil girl. Most mothers would care too much about their children to let them learn that way (although it shouldn't be said that my mother didn't suffer, watching her eldest son in that state), but my mother is a good mom.
Enabling is not love. What your mom did, that's love.
I heard Ira Flatow say that 51% of the United States believes Creationism over the Law of Evolution. I think that as a society we have created our own barriers to education when we consider learning and reason to be anathema to our identity. Cultural changes are the hardest ones to undertake.
That just dismays me every time I hear it. And I can't help wondering how the questions were couched - I just don't want to believe we are, as a people, this ignorant.
I'm glad I'm not the only person who has alien invasion dreams. I always have fugitive/freedom fighter dreams, where I'm running from something (totalitarian governments, robots, aliens, or the mob, like last night). What's frustrating is that I think these are actually, psychologically/physiologically distressing me, to the point where I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. Which then begs the question, what am I running from?
No, you are definitely not alone in those dreams, my dear. And yeah, I woke up sort of wondering about the significance of discovering a safer spot by moving a slimy skeleton out of a crypt, discovering a false floor beneath it that I couldn't smash through but eventually realized could be lifted away, and then stone stairs down into a lighted space that I never actually saw but somehow knew was safe. That's gotta be at least 37 flavors of Jungian.
"I believe that regulation is necessary to prevent upstream producers from dumping their cost of doing business on the little guy downstream."
Who do you think should pay those costs of doing business?
Yes, I know that it is a complicated mess of producers having to pass costs on to consumers, etc. And I know that regulation is fraught with bureaucratic headache. But our rivers don't catch on fire these days.
The tragedy of the commons is a real phenomenon. We've passed a lot of the cost down to our great grandchildren already.
I'm not going to pretend for a moment that there aren't serious problems with regulation. But please don't pretend that a free market is a complete panacea, either.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who has nightmares about aliens invading the earth. *relief*