*hugs* My condolences, Gini.
I'm sorry, she sounded like Good People.
My condolences. I have been in that position. Being thanked profusely for what seems a small effort (to you) can make you feel guilty. Work on accepting that what seemed 'little' to you was 'huge' to someone else. Maybe her previous experiences with neighbors, here or elsewhere, left her to expect indifference or even hostility, and so your kindness and sharing was a balm. The best solution I have found is to be more aware and to make that extra effort for other neighbors/family/friends.
Actually, she was the kind of woman who would end up feeding the entire neighborhood if she could. When we first moved in they were heartbroken over losing their former neighbor and wouldn't even talk to us - not really snubbing, but wary. Then one day I was walking by and they were struggling with a heavy lawn bag and I jumped in to help and suddenly became a favorite.
She was just a good and kind and loving person. And the matriarch of the extended family. I guess in some ways it's like revisiting my great gramma's death, knowing how the center will not hold and they will all drift apart and mourning something that I lost when she died.
Yes, I was fortunate to have my Grammy a long time and her tiny house held all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. for many years on every holiday. Now I only seem to see these people at wakes and funerals. Sad.
That's how it was when my Nanna died, she was the glue that kept the family together, when she died was the last time I saw my aunts, cousins etc, everyone is just too busy now, families of their own, stuff to do.
Her house was the central gathering place.
This reminds me of the time I went to my dad's first cousin's funeral. My dad's first cousin is our nearest family geographically, since they live in OKC and we're right on the Oklahoma/Arkansas border. I remember him busily working at the gas station he owned, and I have some fond memories of spending some weekends there.
On the day of the funeral, there was this Hispanic family mourning his loss at his cremation. Since cremations tend to available only to family, I asked my mom who they were. Apparently, my dad's first cousin had treated them like family, helping them when they first came over to America even though there was no blood relation. It was at that moment I wish I had gotten to know him better.
We always find out awesome things about people when they die. It's sad.
I'm sorry, love.
Times like this, a saying Thorn has sticks with me:
What is remembered, lives.
I know you will keep her in your heart. (It's such an awesome, comfortable, big homey place, who would not want to be there?)
She has lots of family to keep her alive in their hearts. And that is wonderful.
Sorry to hear about this, especially the fact that she suffered from lung cancer after never smoking. Did she work in a factory of some sort? My friends mother had emphysema and also died of cancer after having never smoked.
So what is your given name? What do people call you in real life?
Nope. The only thing they can think is secondhand smoke.
People call me lots of things. Mostly Gini, pronounced like Ginny.
You know its really early in the morning... How I forgot your name, especially after just reading Ferrett's post.
I need coffee NOW!
Caring neighbors are such a rare thing; you gave each other a great gift just by being friendly. :)
And it's a loss, as great as any other - I am so sorry.
May her memory bring peace.
I'm sorry, it's always hard to lose someone good in your life.