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I'm my own science lab - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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I'm my own science lab [Jun. 30th, 2009|04:43 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |weirdweird]

Man. Here I was thinking, "gosh, I'm getting my equilibrium back, feel much better today."

Then the power cord for my laptop crapped out - the mechanical failure that is frayed wires. Fortunately, I noticed soon enough to save and back up everything, and now I just have to go to Best Buy and cough up a Benjamin to replace it.

Irritating, but not actually a "deal." Except my body is having a total panic attack about it. Frontal brain is chill, monkey brain is running from tigers. Heart is pounding, respiration is up, hands are shaking. Frontal brain and monkey brain are clearly not on speaking terms just now.

Fascinating, if not particularly comfy.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ccr1138
2009-06-30 08:54 pm (UTC)
It's scary how much we like to think of as "self" is actually a cascade of chemical reactions not directly under our control.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-30 10:25 pm (UTC)
Decidedly. It's frustrating, too.
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[User Picture]From: kyburg
2009-06-30 09:17 pm (UTC)
A -what? For a POWER CORD?

Dude - that would give me pause, no danger.
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[User Picture]From: kibbles
2009-06-30 09:39 pm (UTC)
I try to see it coming, since you can get cheap ones online for less. So when it starts to get wobbly and not always light up because it is starting to fray...I get another.

And I find the expensive ones aren't much better (if at all) Than the cheap crappy ones I buy.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-30 10:13 pm (UTC)
I had no warning; worked fine earlier, dead the next thing. I may order a spare just in case.
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[User Picture]From: aiela
2009-06-30 10:37 pm (UTC)
The power cords for my husband's Dell are $70. He called Dell and bitched about how it should have lasted longer than a year, and they sent him one for free, which he used as a backup (we had to buy a new one immediately, he uses his laptop for work.)

But he has still gone through like four of them in two years. Its ridiculous.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-30 10:08 pm (UTC)
It turned out to be a bit cheaper, but it was pretty much the same price online plus shipping.
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[User Picture]From: moominmuppet
2009-06-30 09:54 pm (UTC)
It was way cheaper for me to order online and pay overnight shipping than to get it locally... difference between $35 total (including shipping, which was half of that) and $125 or so.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-30 10:16 pm (UTC)
Yes, and if I'd noticed ahead of time that would have been awesome. Alas, I didn't have time.
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[User Picture]From: jeffpalmatier
2009-06-30 10:45 pm (UTC)
Frontal brain is chill, monkey brain is running from tigers.

Ha ha! What a memorable quote!

Actually, that's probably a great way to express what it's like to have an anxiety disorder to those who don't have it. Even if you intellectually know everything is okay, you still feel this sense of nervousness or even terror.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-30 11:12 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it really is. I will have to remember my cleverness!
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[User Picture]From: beckyzoole
2009-06-30 11:08 pm (UTC)
Yeah, bodies are fascinating, even if they are inconvenient at times.

You have adrenaline out the wazoo to get rid of. Can you take an afternoon off to run or bike a little, work it out of your system? (OK, did the peal of bitter laughter at least make you feel better?)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-30 11:13 pm (UTC)
Yeah. pretty much. I am thinking that I'm about a week away from actual release.
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2009-07-01 01:21 am (UTC)
A brisk walk around the block might help you work off some adrenalin so you feel less hyper.
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2009-07-01 03:49 am (UTC)
Sounds like a weird case of PTSD. Hope you feel better soon. maybe you can have a few strong drinks on the 4th?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-07-01 02:20 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but it will fade. Of this I keep reminding myself.

Moving closer to the end of the Project of Doom. Once that's done, I can actually take some time for myself. With luck, I'll be done before the party and have it all off my plate!
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2009-07-01 02:27 pm (UTC)
Oh I didn't know that you also had work stress. BTW I've said this before, but I think that its really awesome that you went for your law degree when and HOW you did.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-07-01 02:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, yeah, GIANT contract project, due date of yesterday but they gave me an extension because of life crises.

This year has been 3 major surgeries, 5 divorces or breakups, 2 other ER visits, theft, kid issues, the death of a dear neighbor, the continuing deterioration and of my father-in-law (who is not expected to live through the end of the year), challenging work projects, and I'm sure other things that aren't coming to mind.

And it's just halfway through.

I am likely to have 2009 PTSD for some time.
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2009-07-01 02:49 pm (UTC)
Wow I didn't realize. I knew about your sister, Ferrett and I believe the car break in but I had no idea about the other stuff. So sorry to hear about that.

I guess even you have your limit. Honestly I see you as the rock of your family...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-07-01 03:01 pm (UTC)
The theft wasn't us, but it was a very close friend who was stranded overseas and it made for a tense and worried time. Just before Ferrett had his surgery, our best friend Kat had major abdominal surgery and we were doing a lot of child care for them. Most of it is stuff that is swirling around us, but it does take its toll.

I am resilient. I just need a little recovery time.
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2009-07-01 03:05 pm (UTC)
AH, I thought that you had a car broken into or a bike stolen... I'm losing it in my old age : (
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[User Picture]From: smallekins
2009-07-01 06:05 pm (UTC)
I'm glad to hear it was only your power cord and not your laptop itself taking the final plunge! Somehow, I think things should last longer... As a slightly off topic query, is it too late to try to visit for the party?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-07-01 07:28 pm (UTC)
Not at all; accommodations are probably limited to a couch at this point, but if you have an air mattress you are welcome to some square footage on the floor.
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[User Picture]From: smallekins
2009-07-01 08:56 pm (UTC)
My car has a 'camping package' which essentially means an airmatress fits inside it and there's a tent-y thing that can go on the back - so I can sleep in there if need be. :) I'm not certain of your location - I'd be driving from Southeastern PA. How might I obtain directions?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-07-01 10:50 pm (UTC)
Send me your email address and I will send you a copy of the Evite and also our address.
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