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Gareth Blackstock approved - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Gareth Blackstock approved [Oct. 4th, 2009|08:33 am]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

Last night we went out to dinner at an Italian place. I ordered the sautéd scallops, with a side of angel hair pasta. When the pasta came, it had a red sauce. I apologized to the waitress, but asked if they had a choice besides tomato because I get severe heartburn from it. "I don't know," she said. "Something, like, tossed with olive oil and garlic?"

I said that would be lovely. She took away my pasta and returned about 10 minutes later with a bowl she slipped onto the table with a murmured hope that I'd like it, then scurried away. We all gazed at the dish, a little perplexed.

I had clearly pissed off the chef.

Before me sat a bowl of angel hair, unadourned save for the half cup of prechopped garlic that had been scooped out of a jar and plopped, unheated, on top of the mass of pasta.

I could pratically hear his voice in my head: "She wants garlic? I'll give her garlic!"

I briefly considered turning into a serious pissing match, but it seemed ridiculous. Instead I scraped away most of the garlic, then used the drawn butter from my scallops, the Parmesan on the table, and salt to create a pasta dish that was edible. Because living well is the best revenge.

Still, when we snuggled up in bed last night, Ferrett snickered. He said it wasn't bad, but it was like cuddling with a shrimp scampi.

Yeah, that's gonna be with me for a while....
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: redstapler
2009-10-04 01:00 pm (UTC)
Oof.

There's nothing more brutal than raw garlic. My insides cramp just thinking about that. :(
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[User Picture]From: enchanted_eve
2009-10-05 12:35 am (UTC)
Where as while I'm not into canned garlic, I will eat raw or marinated garlic strait up with water and enjoy it. To each there own... :)
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[User Picture]From: bart_calendar
2009-10-04 01:04 pm (UTC)
There are fetishists out there who would find this a total dream.

I can't for the life of me remember what the site was called, but I had to write the advertising text a few years back for a site for dudes who were way sexually interested in shrimp and anything related to shrimp. I took the guys check and assumed he'd go bankrupt, but low and behold he sent me an email about a month later thanking me for the copy and telling me I'd helped him get more than 10,000 paid subscribers.

I do remember one of the tag lines I did for a banner ad for the site: "The Cure For Your Crustacean Frustration!"
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[User Picture]From: lunabird
2009-10-04 01:23 pm (UTC)
Rule 36: There's a fetish for everything.
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[User Picture]From: hippie_mamabear
2009-10-04 01:19 pm (UTC)
Oh goodness...you're a better person than me; i think i would have had to send it back again--with an insult to the mother that bore him for not imbuing him with the common sense to realize that a chef is supposed to sometimes cook food.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-04 10:44 pm (UTC)
He wasn't complaining, only amused.
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[User Picture]From: merle_
2009-10-04 02:10 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's pretty rude. How hard could it be to actually toss the garlic with the pasta rather than just dumping it on top? Lightly frying the garlic would take, oh, a minute? As you say, clearly worthy of "Chef!" (or, more likely, someone clearly unworthy of being a chef).
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[User Picture]From: mycorethoughts
2009-10-04 02:26 pm (UTC)
In the name of public interest for those of us who live in the same area, would you care to name said establishment so we can make sure we never eat there?
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[User Picture]From: meyerweb.com
2009-10-04 06:16 pm (UTC)
Seconded.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-04 09:01 pm (UTC)
Not a worry, dude. It's way off your beaten paths.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-04 09:00 pm (UTC)
You are safe. It's a long way from your stomping grounds.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-04 10:40 pm (UTC)
Mmm, garlic naan. That makes me giggle about Lil B!
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[User Picture]From: bunny42
2009-10-04 04:00 pm (UTC)
Classy joint, eh? I'm picturing Vic Tayback as Mel doing the cooking. Without a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, one would hope. What kind of Italian restaurant wouldn't know about garlic and olive oil? Kinda standard, isn't it? Sheesh.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 12:40 am (UTC)
It actually was a nice place
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[User Picture]From: bmajors
2009-10-04 04:12 pm (UTC)
I bet that the actual chef/cook was too busy to remake the dish so the waitress put it together just to get it out quicker (happens all of the time in restaurants). Maybe it was a honest non-malicious mistake.
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[User Picture]From: puckathon
2009-10-04 07:29 pm (UTC)
Having never worked in a restaurant, I wonder... isn't it ultimately up to the chef to be sure nothing sketchy comes out of the kitchen?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-04 10:43 pm (UTC)
The waitress seemed very competent. I really don't think it was she.
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[User Picture]From: mplsindygirl
2009-10-04 04:56 pm (UTC)
I'd have eaten the mixture you ended up with. Sounds delicious. My housemate isn't as fond of garlic as I am, so I've cut way back and I miss it.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 12:36 am (UTC)
I love garlic, but this was a cold, unseasoned lump of it. Not appetizing at all.
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2009-10-04 05:36 pm (UTC)
You should have told the manager about this. If this were my restaurant I'd have made things right for you. But now you won't come back because of a bad couple of employees. It's not fair to you or the business.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-04 10:39 pm (UTC)
I probably would go again, actually. But I'm weird that way.
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[User Picture]From: custardfairy
2009-10-05 12:26 pm (UTC)
Unless my experience somewhere is irredeemably horrid, I'll give it a second chance. Sometimes a third, if the food is awesome but the service is lacking.
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2009-10-05 02:43 pm (UTC)
Well I personally consider having raw pre cut garlic dumped on my pasta pretty bad. I've also worked customer service type jobs so that sort of behavior is pretty inexcusable to me. Its just bad customer service.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 05:09 pm (UTC)
Chefs are an exception. I never managed to piss one off before!
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2009-10-04 05:46 pm (UTC)
In the future, I'd be sure to mention MY ALLERGIC REACTION to tomato sauces when ordering pasta. NOBODY wants to be responsible for a customer getting sick, and they'll have a chance to offer something else.
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[User Picture]From: puckathon
2009-10-04 07:28 pm (UTC)
As someone who also has dietary needs that can be outside the norm, I can totally relate!

Also, which restaurant is it? I will be sure to avoid it in the future and recommend that this be Yelped.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 12:33 am (UTC)
It is far from your regular haunts; trust me on this. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: candiedheart
2009-10-04 08:47 pm (UTC)
Yikes.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 01:36 pm (UTC)

Re: Don't make the cook mad

LOL!! That's a much more evil mad on the part of the cook!
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[User Picture]From: jack_rowen
2009-10-05 03:59 am (UTC)
I'd have raised hell. Is it so much to ask for a different pasta sauce?

Either that, or I would have feigned a severe reaction to the garlic. Complete with seizing, foaming at the mouth, and rapid eye-rolling.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 01:33 pm (UTC)
It could be argued that anyone with such an allergy would be rather foolish to ask for garlic in a pasta dish - or eat in an Italian restaurant in the first place!
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[User Picture]From: jack_rowen
2009-10-05 05:46 pm (UTC)
Ah, but what if you didn't know you were allergic? (Is shamelessly grasping at straws here.)

XD
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[User Picture]From: dana3
2009-10-05 10:46 am (UTC)
I'll add my voice to the "where's the bad place" chorus,
BUT I'll trade you a supposedly very-good place.
Bucci's on Hilliard near Wooster supposedly does a wonderful garlic/oil spaghetti. It's also apparently the original, being located in a strip mall over there. Was an Italian pt's family recommending it, so it's probably worth a try. Enjoy!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-10-05 01:26 pm (UTC)
You know, they are just a few blocks from us but we've never bothered to stop in. I must remedy this. Thanks for the encouragement.
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[User Picture]From: ccr1138
2009-10-05 08:15 pm (UTC)
Wow. What a dickhead.
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