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Two hours hard labor for something to be never seen - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Two hours hard labor for something to be never seen [Mar. 28th, 2010|07:13 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

Some days I forget that "out of sight means out of mind" is not always a bad thing.

Like today. I was having a good, relaxing day: worked out, read a little, finished the necklace I wrote about a couple weeks ago, made good progress on another project. It seemed like a really good time for a hot, relaxing bath.

But when I started running water, it was clear that the hot water tank needed a little more recovery time before I could get in. So I decided that, deep frying impulse now ended, I would clean up the inevitable mess around the stove from the grease.

We have an older gas range, meaning that the elements stick up through a sheet metal top, with gaps around them that allow junk to fall through. Though Formula 409 and I only had a date for the top, I noticed a dessicated mushroom and a couple other things below and thought, it's been a while since I've cleaned out under there, I should probably run a damp rag around. So I pulled off the top.*

I swear I heard screeching Psycho violins and experienced a jarring triple-jump close-up. O-O

I really don't want to describe it, other than to say it was Pompeii mummies meet the La Brea tar pits. I started the cleanup at 5:10 and finished it at 6:45. The frustrating thing about attacking a mess you're too embarrassed to photograph is that there is no point in a triumphant "after" picture. I shall resist showing it off to guests, no matter how strong the impulse. It will just have to be my little triumph.

Now, now I shall head for that hot bath.

*Many of you many not realize that your metal cooktop will lift up and out, allowing you access to its dark underbelly. Honestly, you were better off not knowing, but why should I suffer alone?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: blessed_oak
2010-03-28 11:20 pm (UTC)
I used to have one of those. I was so happy when the oven part died and I could get a new range! But rest assured, I can appreciate your accomplishment. :)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-28 11:29 pm (UTC)
I have already told Ferrett that what I really want for Christmas is a new, professional-grade range. Amazing how our ideas of exciting toys change over the years.
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2010-03-28 11:26 pm (UTC)
Oh, I know EXACTLY what you mean, and I applaud your (unseen) accomplishment!! My previous stovetop was exactly that way. Disassembling it to thoroughly clean only happened once in a blue moon. Now I have a NEW stove, and the top is more like a grill, and is in three sections. When hubby does fried onions and peppers or a hamburger, I can see what spilled or splattered, lift up one section (when cooled!), wipe around the one burner, and I'm done!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-28 11:30 pm (UTC)
That's what I want for Christmas!!
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[User Picture]From: mamculuna
2010-03-28 11:29 pm (UTC)
I have faced that evil, and not turned away. But now I carefully choose the time to do it. And my next stoves will have a sealed top. Especially the one the renters use.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-28 11:31 pm (UTC)
Evil is exactly the term. And now business calls have still kept me from the bath.
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[User Picture]From: audacian
2010-03-28 11:32 pm (UTC)
That's happened with me and my fridge many a time. Gross.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-28 11:49 pm (UTC)
When we got rid of the old fridge, cleaning under it was scary.
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[User Picture]From: merle_
2010-03-28 11:38 pm (UTC)
Honestly, you were better off not knowing

Ignorance is indeed bliss. I dive into that pit of nasty stuff every.. argh, it's been a while. Maybe when it is warm enough that I can open the windows, because otherwise the chemical smell lingers forever.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-28 11:51 pm (UTC)
I'm not cleaning the oven until the weather is nicer, even though it needs it fiercely.
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[User Picture]From: lordindra
2010-03-28 11:41 pm (UTC)
Last time I did that, from what I found I think I'm the first person to do it since purchase.

Thats' a good 20+ years of crap built up. Some of it concealing holes rusted through. Some of it might have concealed more holes, but it was built up so hard in spots that it was about as strong as the original steel.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-28 11:51 pm (UTC)
When that's all that's holding a stove together, better to quit while you're ahead!
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[User Picture]From: stripedsocks
2010-03-29 12:29 am (UTC)
Oog. Messes like that are a large part of the reason that my husband and I chose a flat-top range when we bought our stove. (Well, that, and we don't have a gas hookup in the kitchen. ^_^)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-29 02:07 am (UTC)
I want to upgrade. It's actually the last original large appliance in our kitchen!
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[User Picture]From: wrendragon
2010-03-29 12:42 am (UTC)
The really fun part is cleaning the kitchen in a rental apartment that was apparently previously occupied by people that had no idea that places like "under the fridge" and "inner bits of the oven" even existed, let alone needed cleaning once in a while.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-29 02:08 am (UTC)
I need to pull the fridge out and give it a cleaning - it's been three years. Man, the time passes when you aren't paying attention!
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[User Picture]From: fallconsmate
2010-03-29 12:51 am (UTC)
i need to clean the oven. i dread it because i cannot kneel. oh, i CAN, but the nerves in the left knee scream at me and then i cannot think at all. so i dont.

the top of the stove...he normally cooks and i think its against his religion to wipe up a spill. i like cooking with gas, but i'm partial to a solid cooktop that NOTHING gets into, ever. and self cleaning ovens (which you are correct, i've never seen a gas self cleaner). oh and BOO HISS on stoves that you CANNOT lift the top on! mine wont lift at all, grrr!!

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[User Picture]From: bunny42
2010-03-29 01:56 am (UTC)
My solid cooktop has advantages as well as disadvantages. For example, wok cooking is not recommended, and I know why. We managed to burn some stuff so thoroughly that it melted into the glass. Also, it takes forever to boil water. And there's that flat-bottomed pots and pans thing.

But I still love it for all the reasons zoethe is describing about mucking out the range. Also, it's really pretty.
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[User Picture]From: dreagoddess
2010-03-29 02:12 am (UTC)
I actually moved too often to ever feel the urge to do that. ;) I know that my current stovetop does open, because the previous owner mentioned doing it, but I can't actually figure out how. Any suggestions?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-29 02:19 am (UTC)
Usually they lift, sometimes completely off and sometimes hinged, but try pushing up on the front edge and see what happens. If it will lift only a little way up try pulling forward. Go slowly, but don't be too timid.
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[User Picture]From: ccr1138
2010-03-29 04:21 am (UTC)
I feel your pain. But what's worse is to perform this task on a range in a house you just bought when the previous owners were hoarders. Yes, I gagged.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-29 12:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, ghastly! We bought from a very neat person, fortunately. It was bad enough having it be MY mess; I can't imagine dealing with someone else's.
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[User Picture]From: cosmicbandit
2010-03-30 07:24 am (UTC)
I need to do that chore, including the chrome rings. Usually I spread a bunch of really damp paper towels over the mess and let it sit for 10-15 minutes and then tackle it.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-03-30 11:18 am (UTC)
The problem with gas stoves is that there are lots of tubes and workings hiding beneath that ring.
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