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Zoethe

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American as plastic cheese? [Jul. 5th, 2010|05:26 pm]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |annoyedSeriously?]

I have a sneaking suspicion that Kraft is really sophisticated and making fun of its customers. Because I just saw an ad for Kraft Singles that bragged about the provenance of American cheese: it could only be invented here. In America.

I can't argue against that. I can only be embarrassed by it. Because American cheese is about the most disgusting curdled milk product imaginable. It's slimy to the palate, it tastes like an artificial food product, and I wouldn't be surprised to find that petroleum was the second or third ingredient on its packaging.

Bragging about American Cheese? It makes me want to sidle away, mouthing, "I'm not with these people. Really."
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: ktar
2010-07-05 09:35 pm (UTC)
It's kinda of funny, prior to moving to the US I'd never heard of American Cheese. Everyone in Canada (and after I queried others, seemingly much of Europe as well) simply refers to it as processed cheese. I always found it somewhat funny that only America itself would claim credit for that foul plastic product, but everyone else let them forget the shame of it.

Always seemed like it should be the other way around.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 09:47 pm (UTC)
"I'm not with them. Really."
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[User Picture]From: roniliquidity
2010-07-05 09:36 pm (UTC)
Depends what you're calling American Cheese. Kraft slices? No. I can't stand the sticky tough top that develops when you toast it. American cheese as a category is really just a mild cheddar, like and American version of Glouchester. However if you get American cheese from the deli, sliced real cheese, it makes the most fantastic scrambled eggs I've ever had.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 09:39 pm (UTC)
Still, no. Yes, the Kraft stuff is the worst, but I don't even like deli American. It's like cheddar with the flavor taken out.

IMHO, of course.
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[User Picture]From: merle_
2010-07-05 09:47 pm (UTC)
Kraft slices are completely artificial, and are only edible with bologna and ketchup on white bread. Which is to say, in for a penny, in for ten cents. We all have our guilty and disgusting pleasures.

Excellent and apt icon.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 09:56 pm (UTC)
Out of all those ingredients, I only like ketchup.
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[User Picture]From: jojomojo
2010-07-05 09:54 pm (UTC)
See, if you hadn't bothered with this silly 'July 4th' nonsense you'd still be part of the Commonwealth and producing proper cheddar the way Canada/Australia/NZ/South Africa do ;)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 09:55 pm (UTC)
We do!! Honest! I have some Amish Cheddar in the fridge right now!!!

Those Kraft people? I'm not with them.
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[User Picture]From: naamah_darling
2010-07-05 10:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'll even eat squeez-cheez but not American cheese. About the only redeeming thing that can be said for it is that Cherie Priest's cat Spainy apparently likes it, as did all of mine while I was growing up.

I will point out, however, that they were cats. I'm not taking advice on haute cuisine from an animal that licks its own butt, thanks.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 10:58 pm (UTC)
I can't even eat squeez-cheez. It's ucky.
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[User Picture]From: oceansedge
2010-07-05 10:23 pm (UTC)
we have these 'kraft singles' - plastic cheese slices in Canada

Only they're not allowed to call it cheese even - it's - and I quote - "Processed Cheese Food" - anything required legally to be called Processed Cheese Food - including Cheeze Whiz and Velveeta, and anything referred legally as an 'Edible Oil Product" - doesn't make my table.

Edited at 2010-07-05 10:23 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: wdomburg
2010-07-05 10:37 pm (UTC)
It's labelled "pasteurized processed cheese product" here. They were warned to stop calling it "cheese food" since it failed to meet the legal standards.
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[User Picture]From: ailsaek
2010-07-05 10:29 pm (UTC)
Cheese slices make great dog treats. I'm going through a lot of them while training mine.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 10:55 pm (UTC)
That's probably not animal cruelty....

;-)
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[User Picture]From: kagomeshuko
2010-07-05 10:30 pm (UTC)
If we get cheese, we always make sure the first ingredient is MILK, not oil, not water.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 10:56 pm (UTC)
A good decision.
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[User Picture]From: wdomburg
2010-07-05 10:35 pm (UTC)
I agree with some other commenters that real American cheese has a place. Kraft singles, not so much. They were never actual cheese, and no longer even meet the standard of identity for "pastuerized processed cheese food". Sadly, that's not even scraping the bottom of the barrel. Look at the ingredients in some of the really cheap stuff, like Borden Sandwich Mates. Yuck.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-05 10:57 pm (UTC)
Okay, that's frightening.
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[User Picture]From: firerose10
2010-07-05 11:15 pm (UTC)
I'll eat the american CHEESE, but if i look at the packaging and it says "cheese food", I wouldn't even trow it away in my own trash can. That stuff makes me actively sick. They hubby likes white american, but then he is strange..
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 12:16 am (UTC)
I can't stand any of it, but the cheese food is worst.
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[User Picture]From: moominmuppet
2010-07-05 11:48 pm (UTC)
That's exactly my reaction to that commercial!
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[User Picture]From: walkertxkitty
2010-07-05 11:51 pm (UTC)
My husband loves the stuff and other 'processed cheese foods' (yes, it actually says that on the labels). When I absolutely have to use something like that, I buy it from the deli. It is, I found, possible to buy a product called American cheese which has not been processed to hell and back.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 01:45 am (UTC)
Exactly. Ick ick ick.
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[User Picture]From: sacramentalist
2010-07-06 12:22 am (UTC)
"CHEDDAR CHEESE (MILK, CHEESE CULTURE, SALT, ENZYMES)M MILKFAT, WATER, SODIUM CITRATE, SALT, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, SORBIC ACID AS A PRESERVATIVE, OLEORESIN PAPRIKA (COLOR), ANNATTO (COLOR), WITH STARCH ADDED FOR SLICE SEPARATION."



Though their ingredients appear cheesy (until the emulsifiers and preservatives are added) I am surprised Kraft don't even call their Singles "food"
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[User Picture]From: mamculuna
2010-07-06 02:09 am (UTC)
There is good cheese made in the US, but it's not American cheese made by Kraft.

Cowgirl Creamery in California...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 11:34 am (UTC)
Oh, there are lots of good cheeses made in the U.S. We regularly purchase cheese in Amish country. It was the bragging about American that got me.
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[User Picture]From: delosd
2010-07-06 02:59 am (UTC)
American cheese is what's leftover when you take all the interesting stuff that make cheese cheese out of the cheese!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 11:35 am (UTC)
And add plastic. Don't forget the plastic.
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[User Picture]From: morgi
2010-07-06 03:41 am (UTC)
I dunno, I like Kraft singles even though I also like cheeses such as brie and chevre. I guess I'm just full of contradictions.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 11:36 am (UTC)
You are, indeed!
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-07-06 05:23 am (UTC)
Who was it who pointed out that Kraft singles are not cheese, they're "cheese food"? That is, they're what you feed to little cheese to make it grow up big and strong.

-Alex
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 11:37 am (UTC)
[snerk]
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[User Picture]From: shadow_phoenix2
2010-07-06 11:54 am (UTC)
I actually like Kraft cheese slices/blocks! They're good for a quick cheese-melted-on-toast in the morning. :) I'm not so fond of REAL cheese, though.

Dad: "Well, think about it. Real cheese needs refrigeration, that's why they're kept in the deli. Kraft 'cheese' is sold off-the-shelf in the grocery department!"
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 02:55 pm (UTC)
I don't consider this lack of perishability to be a positive, myself.
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[User Picture]From: shadowwolf13
2010-07-06 05:25 pm (UTC)
Hi! I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that people were saying nice things about you.

http://shadowwolf13.livejournal.com/844724.html?thread=3985844

Please feel free to stop by and read the comments, add your love to others, or spread the word to your friends. You might want to track your thread so you’ll know when new comments come in for you as this continues to grow.

Blessings,
Shadow

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[User Picture]From: crimsonlegend
2010-07-06 08:32 pm (UTC)
I like the Kraft singles (or American cheese in general) melted in my omelettes or on my egg sandwiches, but I can't stand the taste of it when it's not melted, so I prefer ANY other cheese on everything but eggs.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 09:26 pm (UTC)
I don't like melted cheese - something about the texture change. I know that's weird.
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[User Picture]From: annan_dum
2010-07-06 08:58 pm (UTC)
"...the most disgusting curdled milk product imaginable."

Wait...you mean it's actually made from MILK!?!
Coulda fooled me.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-06 09:27 pm (UTC)
It's there on the label. What they DO to the milk to make this crap is frightening to contemplate.
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[User Picture]From: denyer
2010-07-19 05:44 pm (UTC)
Sort of works on top of reconstituted sort-of-meat.

The one that disgusts me since I noticed it is that Nutella is mostly vegetable oil.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-07-19 06:07 pm (UTC)
I've never cared for Nutella. Maybe that's why!
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