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Matrix moment of woo woo - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Matrix moment of woo woo [Aug. 19th, 2010|05:09 pm]
Zoethe
I had to file something at the Akron Bankruptcy Clerk of Courts office today, an office I don't have to visit often since most bankruptcy filings are done electronically, but which I've done a few times a year since I started this gig. I hiked down to the Federal building from the other end of the plaza area, made my way through security, and rode the elevator to the fourth floor. I walked around the corner to where the Clerk's Office sits - and there was no door.

Now, I had noted some evidence of construction on at the building, so I wasn't completely flummoxed. I decided to take the stairs up to 5 to see if the office had been moved up there. Strike two. Took the elevator to 2, the location of the actual bankruptcy courtroom, thinking maybe they were consolidating. Strike three. Grabbed the elevator to 3, only to find myself at strike four and still out.

But there was a receptionist in an office there. So I asked her where the bankruptcy clerk's office was. "Fourth floor," she said.

I got back on the same elevator. I rode it up a floor. I walked around the same corner, to the same location where the door wasn't just a few minutes earlier.

There was a door. The clerk's office was in the same location as always. Right across the hall from the set of stairs I'd taken to the fifth floor.

Now, I realize that somewhere along the way I must have simply missed the existence of a door right where I expected a door to be. There must be some real world explanation for this.

But all I can say is, if there is some Matrix-y, Morpheus dude out there getting ready to show me that this world is all fake, I'm taking the frelling BLUE pill!!! I don't want to live dirty and miserable off slimy gruel in terror for my life! I'm quite happy being a witless battery, or part of a ginormous computing system, or however it is The Machines are harvesting my life force! I don't need to be a unique and special snowflake in your post-apocalyptic nightmare!

Just so you know, I'm not your hero. Thanks for your time.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2010-08-19 09:29 pm (UTC)
wow ...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-19 10:31 pm (UTC)
I probably think about these things way too much....
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[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2010-08-20 12:29 am (UTC)
naah!
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[User Picture]From: aiela
2010-08-19 09:42 pm (UTC)
You are, however, my hero for being able to admit that. ;)

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-19 10:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks, hon!
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[User Picture]From: nex0s
2010-08-19 09:43 pm (UTC)
Oh, I hate those wormholes! I've run into a few myself. Like the time I walked through 1960 for one block (nothing was being filmed, I SWEAR)...

N.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-19 10:32 pm (UTC)
It's a weird feeling, no doubt. I've done it before and it freaks me out every time.
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[User Picture]From: ladyfox7oaks
2010-08-19 09:52 pm (UTC)
Don't ya just LOVE those little spatial-temporal holes you stumble through every now and again? (NOT!)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-19 10:33 pm (UTC)
It is very freaky. I am weirded out every time.
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[User Picture]From: lordkiev
2010-08-19 10:08 pm (UTC)
@neo: Should I take the red or the blue pill?
@neo: I think I'm taking the red pill
@neo: HOLY SHIT MY HAND IS MELTING
@cypher: RT @neo Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-19 10:34 pm (UTC)
LOL!
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[User Picture]From: delosd
2010-08-19 11:21 pm (UTC)
And the filet mignon is MUCH better here...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-19 11:26 pm (UTC)
Exactly!!!
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-08-19 11:35 pm (UTC)
That experience doesn't strike me as something that Morpheus would do. On the other hand, if I were you I'd be on the lookout for an enormous pencil in Bugs Bunny's gigantic hand.

-Alex
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 12:02 am (UTC)
Bugs Bunny haunting my life would be FAR more amusing.
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-08-20 12:05 am (UTC)
Daffy might disagree with you, there.

-Alex
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[User Picture]From: smartlikeatruck
2010-08-19 11:43 pm (UTC)
Tangentially related:

If the world is the Matrix, then why bother being nice to people?
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-08-20 12:05 am (UTC)
The same reason that you should be nice to people even though you are going to die someday.

-Alex
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 12:05 am (UTC)
Because we can't be sure.
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[User Picture]From: lishablog
2010-08-20 01:00 am (UTC)
In my family we call those moments "dimension shifts". It's like you hopped from one dimension to another and back again. We use the term for these matrixy moments and also for when the people in a conversation have utterly opposing memories about something that happened in the past.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 02:57 pm (UTC)
I have had them before. We generally call them "green clock world" because one night I woke up in the middle of the night and was shocked to see that the digital lights on the clock I had owned for years had changed from green to red. Only everyone else around me remembers them always being red. And they remain red to this day. I think I shifted over a dimension permanently.
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[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2010-08-22 11:42 pm (UTC)
We use that term too. One time, while doing the dishes, my husband cut himself, sliced his finger wide open. At least, that's what he swears, because after he rinsed it off, there was no cut, no blood, no nothing. He felt pain, and cried out, and said he saw the inside of his finger, but there wasn't even a mark.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-23 12:00 am (UTC)
I bet that creeped him out!
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[User Picture]From: zianuray
2010-08-20 02:26 am (UTC)
There is a town I drive through on the average of eleven times a week, it being between home and work.

At least twice a week, I swear, it simply isn't there. It even takes less time BY THE CLOCK the days it isn't there.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 02:57 pm (UTC)
Now that's freaky.
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[User Picture]From: chris_walsh
2010-08-20 05:20 am (UTC)
It took years of living in this apartment building for me to notice, two blocks away, a different complex. I really had to think How have I not noticed this before? while looking at it. There were a few trees between the complex and the road, but not enough for me to notice just the trees and not the building. And this was on a road I walked along almost every single day. Years to notice. Whoa.

Know the feeling, I do.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 03:00 pm (UTC)
Sometimes things do simply escape our attention, but there are other times when it's just...I don't know.....
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[User Picture]From: gkingsley
2010-08-20 02:44 pm (UTC)

A ridiculously long comment ...

I don't need to be a unique and special snowflake in your post-apocalyptic nightmare!

Thank you for this - I laughed so hard I got the hiccups. I said the same exact thing when we first watched The Matrix. Of course, one detail in the 2nd movie pissed me off so badly it ruined the whole series for me: apparently, everyone and their brother can plug in their brain and learn kung fu or how to pilot a helicopter, but no one in Zion can figure out how to knit a $%#@*& sweater without holes for The Chosen One. Everyone's dropping off big ole baskets of fruit and bars of gold and crap at Neo's door, but there isn't a soul in the whole place who can find him something to wear that isn't more hole than shirt, or at the very least, fix the one he's got.

But that's just my little pet peeve.

Since everyone seems to be sharing, here's my wormhole/Matrix/parallel universe story:

One night many years ago, I was driving to a friend's house. Suddenly, I was going south instead of north and it was 45 minutes/1 hour later than it should have been. I have no idea where the time went or how I ended up driving in the opposite direction from when I started out. As far as I know, I don't have multiple personality disorder, so I often wonder if I was abducted by aliens that night. If so, I am forever grateful that their memory wipe/alien rufinol actually worked and I don't recall getting anally probed or whatever.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 03:06 pm (UTC)

Re: A ridiculously long comment ...

I don't even want to get started on the second movie. They should have left it with one because the world-building is hopelessly flawed and does not bear scrutiny.

Your wormhole story is completely creepy. The world is filled with unexplained weirdnesses!
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From: katthemad
2010-08-20 03:57 pm (UTC)
I once left work on a Friday and passed the empty lot that had always been there. When I arrived on Monday, there was no vacant lot on the street. There WAS a hundred and fifty year old falling down house, however.

I was not crazy. Apparently, over the weekend the town had relocated an historic landmark. I must have missed the memo.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 05:15 pm (UTC)
Okay, that's funny!
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[User Picture]From: whyelaborate
2010-08-20 06:15 pm (UTC)
I recently had something just like that happen.

I was hiking in Hocking Hills (Southern Ohio, ever been there? :) ) and we were at this rock formation called the Rock House. Its a big solid wall of rock with recessed areas that you can climb around in...

We were making our way through it when we came across a hole. It was completely dark in the cave but the hole was definitely big enough that a person could fall through it and it was right in the middle of a heavily trafficed area. You could see sunlight and trees below it.

My friend that I was with and I were shocked that no one had come to board this over or something, we didn't exam it very closely, we were very high up and falling through a hole in the rock was not something that seemed like fun, so we avoided it and moved on.

I started feeling very strange and dizzy, and when we made it out of the cave, we passed another group of hikers and warned them about a giant hole in the middle of the floor. They thanked us and went into the cave.

We stopped to rest on a log at a pretty spot at the edge of the creek, and those hikers from earlier passed by and said that they hadn't seen the hole.

I thought that they were joking, because it was 2 feet by 2 feet, a bright empty space right in the middle of the cave floor.

Then I started thinking about it.....

We saw sunlight and trees through this hole...but this cave was cut into a solid rock wall.... if there was a hole in it, it wouldn't have shown sunlight and trees, there would have only been more rock.

I wanted to go back and see if it was really there, but we wound up not having time.

Maybe we missed our doorway into some magic fairy dimension.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-20 06:47 pm (UTC)
Wow. It makes me wonder, too. Damn, that's weird.
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[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2010-08-22 11:47 pm (UTC)
My husband shifts dimensions quite often. I know my class ring has always been blue, my birthstone, but he swears when I actually wore it (in high school) that it was red. It leaves me flabbergasted when he remembers events that I know could not have happened. "We went to your mom's the other day." "No, hon, I worked that day." back and forth because he's permanently shifted again! I wonder how many times that can happen before you're in a completely different place?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2010-08-23 12:03 am (UTC)
It's fascinating to realize that I'm not alone in this. I wonder how many of those small "how long has that crack been there?" "always" moments are shifts that we write off.
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