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Lean on me, or not - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Lean on me, or not [Jun. 3rd, 2011|03:07 pm]
Zoethe
"C'mon. It's time to leave for that party."
"Do we have to? I really don't feel like it."
"Yes, honey. You know you'll have a good time once you're there."

"Hey, let's see if anyone wants to come over tonight!"
"Really? You want company?"
"Sure! It'll be fun."

Two conversations that have happened more than once in my household. Two conversations to which I cannot assign a speaker, because we have both been the initiator and the resister. This is one of those things where both of us have times when we just want to curl up in our dark little hole and never come out again.

This is one of those times when "supporting your partner" can go one of two ways. "Support" can be to stay home with your partner when they just aren't up to facing people.

Or it can mean kicking your partner's butt and getting hir off the couch.

One of the reasons we manage to be as social as we are is because neither of us are willing to let the other disappear into oblivion. It would be just as easy to turn "support" into stasis.

This is not always comfortable for either party.

Sometimes supporting your partner isn't a matter of giving them want they want. Sometimes it's giving them what they need. Or even pushing them toward what they need. It's easy for support to become a deterrent, or even a blanket of lies.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: cyan_blue
2011-06-03 08:04 pm (UTC)
Nods, both good things.

Between Jay and I, support sometimes consists of "Yeah, I'm not in a party mood, you go on ahead without me." But neither of us are prone to disappearing into oblivion, so for us it's more of a question of not holding the other one back.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2011-06-04 01:24 am (UTC)
We occasionally do go without each other, but most of the time it's not the best choice.
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[User Picture]From: smartlikeatruck
2011-06-03 08:38 pm (UTC)
You know, just a thought, but they say that moving is one of the most stressful things people can do. And stress often=depression, if unmitigated.
And while you haven't moved, you have been remodeling for MONTHS.

Just random thoughts. I hope everything gets better for you.
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[User Picture]From: shandra
2011-06-03 08:59 pm (UTC)
+1 to this. After 7 years renovating our last home it's no secret why we have done nothing to our new home, despite its lack of perfection.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2011-06-04 01:30 am (UTC)
I'm sure that it's contributing factor. Things have been stressful, even if they are exciting.
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[User Picture]From: jfargo
2011-06-03 08:41 pm (UTC)
This is actually one of the biggest problems I have living alone. It's why I'm trying to say yes to any invitation I get if I can at all. If I don't kick myself into gear I will stagnate and be okay with it right up until the moment I realize that I haven't seen anybody for over a month. (It has happened even in this short time alone.)

I'm glad you two kick each other into gear so that you get out or have people in. It's never easy, but it's important.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2011-06-04 01:33 am (UTC)
It's hard to do it for yourself. Good for you self-starting.
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[User Picture]From: shandra
2011-06-03 08:56 pm (UTC)
Well said.

Good lord you two are rocking it. :)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2011-06-04 01:34 am (UTC)
We are good for each other.
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[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2011-06-04 04:02 am (UTC)
amen
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