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Battle of the bed - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Battle of the bed [Mar. 6th, 2012|09:29 am]
Zoethe
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The bed is made again this morning. That's two mornings in a row with Ferrett here, 12 days total.

I have gone back into the bedroom after he gets up and made the bed. We appear to have reached a good blanket detente: his extra quilt being sandwiched between the sheet and the top quilt is working, and makes pulling the bed together much easier than any other solution I've previously attempted.

So my bed battle is not with Ferrett. No, it is with fashion.

You see, you cannot buy a bedding set these days without the inclusion of decorative throw pillows. Decorative throw pillows are my undoing. It doesn't seem like picking up a few pillows and tossing them onto the bed would be that difficult, but it is the place where my brain rebels. They are the appendix of bedding: useless, except as a source for trouble.

Because the throw pillows end up in the corner on my side of the bed. And soft pillows on the floor are seed for a pile. The next thing I know, I'm taking off my clothes in the evening and thinking, "these pants can just lie here on the pillows instead of being hung up; I'm planning to put them on tomorrow morning" instead of hanging them in the closet. Then my workout clothes join that pile instead of being folded up and put on their little shelf until the next day, then I can't find those shorts I was going to re-wear, so I get out another pair, and then when I get undressed at night it's easier to think that I will put my underthings down the laundry chute tomorrow.

The next thing I know, I'm wading through clothing shin-deep to get to the bed.

Of course the answer of "just don't do that" is simple, but completely impossible. I've spent YEARS doing this. Every time I clean it all up, I swear it won't happen again. But it happens every time.

Clearly, tossing the pillows into the corner is unacceptable. And I know I won't put them on the bed. I am rather allergic to useless items, so that is a further mental block. If a thing has no purpose other than decoration, it better not require my attention for more than an occasional dusting. I don't do fuss.

So I've made the decision to simply throw. them. out. Of course it goes against every grain to toss out something that is "perfectly good." But they are only perfectly good for being an Achilles' Heel for me. So they are getting stuffed in a trash bag and tossed. No, I won't keep them for a garage sale or donate them: as Don Aslett says, you do no good in the world by passing on your trash to someone else. And I will make my bed in just a few minutes each morning and not worry about the frou frou that fashion has attempted to thrust upon me.

 

Crossposting from Dreamwidth now. Sigh. If LJ won't let you comment, you can comment here: http://zoethe.dreamwidth.org/793498.html?mode=reply:
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Comments:
From: anonymousalex
2012-03-06 02:36 pm (UTC)
Freecycle(*). Knowing that things are going to a good home where they're wanted and will be used has helped immeasurably in my efforts to remove "perfectly good" stuff that I don't use from my house. Plus, that person usually just comes to pick 'em up; less effort than putting in the trash for me.

As for bed appendices, I'm with you on that. Hate 'em.

-Alex

(*) Actually, technically, I think my local group only used to be connected with the national "Freecycle" organization, but neither of us is interested in hearing about historical email-list power-plays.
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[User Picture]From: aiela
2012-03-06 02:40 pm (UTC)
The problem with freecycle, of course, is that you then have to take the time to arrange pick ups for people who may or may not show up, etc. Sometimes, the easiest solution is the best - just get rid of them.
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From: anonymousalex
2012-03-06 09:26 pm (UTC)
Yeah, there are things it isn't worth it for. But it's useful to get over the "I can't throw it out, it's perfectly good"s.

And if I can't be bothered to freecycle it, that's pretty convincing evidence to me that I can go ahead and toss it.

-Alex
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 05:50 pm (UTC)
They are hideous. No one will want them. Seriously.
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[User Picture]From: roaming
2012-03-06 08:29 pm (UTC)
There you go, judging other people by your own standards. :-) (I do it all the time, which is why I'm continually gobsmacked by what goes on out there that passes for "normal.") I'm with naath: someone WILL definitely want them. Even if they use them as filler to cover with some material they've been meaning to make into a pillow but didn't want to spend the money on the pillow itself.
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From: anonymousalex
2012-03-06 09:27 pm (UTC)
Obviously, I hadn't seen them. And if you can bring yourself to toss, by all means go ahead. My suggestion was mainly to get over the reluctance to throw out "perfectly good" things.

-Alex
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[User Picture]From: jume
2012-03-07 03:35 am (UTC)
I think you're underestimating the up-cycle, ugly-vintage trend..
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-07 12:04 pm (UTC)
In that case, I'm saving some other poor soul from embarrassment when they come to their sense. ;-)
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From: serakit
2012-03-09 01:46 am (UTC)
I *always* want more pillows. Whatever they look like. Because... pillows! (However, I'm in MA, so I can't offer to make off with yours because that's just impractical.)
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[User Picture]From: naath
2012-03-06 02:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, but they aren't trash to everyone. I love cushions! Not on my *bed* mind, but on my sofa and chairs, because I'm so short I my feet don't reach the floor if my back is on the sofa-back. I'm not sure what use they are meant to be on a bed though. (in the UK they are commonly displayed with bedding, but not very often actually for sale... perhaps shops here have a more realistic idea of people's desire to actually own the things).

I fully get behind your desire to have these items out of your house but you can do good by passing on what is trash to you to someone for whom it is a useful object (even with actual trash sometimes - I know people with uses for broken crockery for instance).
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 05:53 pm (UTC)
They are made of a slick nylon material and have a bad "handfeel." I will put them on the curb for anyone who wants to take them, but I doubt it.
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[User Picture]From: roaming
2012-03-06 08:27 pm (UTC)
Offer them to The Universe. Where they go is up to . . . not you anymore. Someone will want them. One person's trash is another person's treasure. In a world where there are people who treasure their Elvis on Velvet wall hangings, anything is possible.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 08:31 pm (UTC)
All right, I will put them in with the stuff for the next time the Vets call.
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[User Picture]From: naath
2012-03-06 10:29 pm (UTC)
Oh yucky. I hates that stuff... retail fabric-goods are so often made of nasty fabric. Chuck 'em, do t'world a favour :-)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 11:32 pm (UTC)
That's my thinking.
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[User Picture]From: mermaidnchains
2012-03-06 04:42 pm (UTC)
Toss them on the guest bed downstairs. Just a thought.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 06:03 pm (UTC)
It already has too many. I want them out of the house. Less stuff! Less Stuff!
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[User Picture]From: roaming
2012-03-06 08:26 pm (UTC)
I donate all my stuff. Someone has a use for it. Veteran's shelters will often actually have trucks that will pick up if you can't get to a Goodwill, etc.

haven't read the other comments but am sure I'm not the first to suggest this. :-)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 08:30 pm (UTC)
No, it's pretty much been the only reaction. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: roaming
2012-03-06 08:35 pm (UTC)
That's because you hang out with classy people. :-) But someone Out There in the great unwashed/uneducated chasm will have a use. Even if it's just people who have been temporarily burned out of their homes and need to buy EVERYTHING new from scratch. They might not like those pillows, but they need some, so for awhile it's much better than nothing at all.) Veteran's shelters will often actually have trucks that will pick up if you can't get to a Goodwill, etc. (At least in my state of MA: there's Veterans', Big Brother/Big Sister. They come to you at a pre-arranged day whenever they are in the area. So you'd maybe have to keep them in a closet for a month, but the "someone who didn't have now has" is a good feeling.)

Where do you live? I can do a search for you. Meanwhile, put 'em out with the garbage, in plastic, with a note "NEW! UNUSED!" and I bet they'll be gone before the trash is. Anyway, it's one way to give 'em a chance rather than consigning them to being put down. (;-P )

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 09:09 pm (UTC)
I'm convinced! I will save theme or the terrible fate to which they had been consigned.
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[User Picture]From: fallconsmate
2012-03-06 09:32 pm (UTC)
i have ONE "decorative" pillow with any real use. the bed is too tall for a little dog to jump on, so she jumps on the footlocker at the end of the bed, up on the decorative roll pillow i keep there for JUST that purpose, and onto the bed, where she looks triumphant.

otherwise, those things are like pillow shams. useless and irritating, and i'm with you, get them OUT of my house.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 09:40 pm (UTC)
Worst are the "European shams" which fit large, square pillows with NO purpose whatever. Junk!
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[User Picture]From: naath
2012-03-06 10:39 pm (UTC)
Large square pillows work as pillows no? Maybe not. Bedding industry is silly.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 11:32 pm (UTC)
They certainly don't for me!
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[User Picture]From: merle_
2012-03-06 09:49 pm (UTC)
Throw pillows are nasty. They are not comfortable. In most cases they are barely attractive and rarely add beauty to whatever they are put on. Yet they breed like rabbits, or show up as gifts, or.. I have no idea where they come from. I loathe them but have at least eight.

Don't donate them. Best case, organize a "throw pillow fight" in your 'hood and help others destroy the junk that is polluting their homes.

Although the idea of a nice large bonfire is tempting as well. Hmm.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-06 10:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I agree completely.
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[User Picture]From: throbinson
2012-03-07 12:13 am (UTC)
We have a local thrift shop run by the Gay Community Foundation - I try to donate my stuff to them whenever I can. Goodwill comes a close second. I have a hard time with the Salvation Army because of their politics, even though I understand they do a lot of good as well.
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[User Picture]From: delosd
2012-03-07 12:30 am (UTC)
Yes, YES! Get rid of them!! (Don't really care how, donating is nice, but if you're too busy don't be afraid to deep-six them.)

And believe me - I KNOW the agony of getting rid of somethings that's "perfectly good". That's why I've still got that (operational) 2000 Dell laptop. :)

Hmm... I thought dust ruffles were the "the appendix of bedding: useless"...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-07 12:41 am (UTC)
Dust ruffles are awesome. They hide the chains.
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[User Picture]From: crimsonlegend
2012-03-07 01:54 am (UTC)
I don't know how I'll feel about them when I have my own place, but as a college student I love them! I keep a lot of boxes/plastic totes under my bed in my dorm room, and the dust ruffle that came with my bedding set hides it from view of visitors.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-07 12:02 pm (UTC)
Yes, hiding ills is the purpose of bedskirts.
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[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2012-03-07 07:38 pm (UTC)
our bedskirt hides dust bunnies and the cat ...
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[User Picture]From: autographedcat
2012-03-07 04:05 am (UTC)
I read the entire thing with a voice in the back of my head saying "So get rid of them." Glad to see you came to the same conclusion.

If you don't want to throw away "perfectly good" pillows, donate them to Goodwill. Someone else might get use of them.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-07 12:05 pm (UTC)
They are going on the curb in a clear, protective bag so that some other fool may grab then if s/he sees fit.
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[User Picture]From: lunarennui
2012-03-07 04:48 am (UTC)
oddly, i make the bed at the END of the day--as in, when justin goes to bed. that's because my sleeping schedule is so whacked that i'm either already in the bed when he wants to get in and he gets a pre-warmed side (i'm a right-sider if you look from the foot, but the WINDOW is on the left side, and i'm the one that refuses to have heat in the room and has to have the cold air, but really i'm an ALL-BEDDER with a strong side of DON'T TOUCH ME, so he's just screwed) or i'm putting him to bed, so i wake up to a kiss goodbye and take over the YAY ALL MINE bed. then i stagger out of it out of guilt at whenever, mostly because i'm upset since i can't decide what to make for dinner. and putting him to bed means making it, from scratch, every night. i like a made bed. i really do. i admire a made bed. when i make a bed, i'm proud of it. but i've found that all those decorative pillows cost more and just end up on the floor, and i too have a floordrobe that i attempt to eradicate now and then, only then i'm just too tired to hang up/put away whatever, and...

*cheers you on from whatever cruddy position i have on this, really*
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-07 12:07 pm (UTC)
The made bed helps to keep the floordrobe (I love that term!) under control.
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[User Picture]From: lunarennui
2012-03-07 10:20 pm (UTC)
i have extreme fibro, so when i do something such as laundry, just the actual washing/drying the clothing is an immense task. every great now and then i actually *hang things up* and *fold things and put them in drawers*. but usually it's more 'i like this, i don't want to forget i have it, put it in the floordrobe pile' or 'i'm so goddamned tired it hurts to move, i'm just leaving it here'. i TRY to keep a clean home, but i use up most of my energy just making sure the dishes are done and dinner's made. it really sucks. i mean, i was inspired yesterday and *cleaned the stove*. now, this doesn't mean cleaning the oven, god help me on that one, this means taking out every electric burner and the pans and scrubbing them spotless and putting them through the dishwasher along with the knobs, then scrubbing and scrubbing the whole surface spotless, then lifting the lid and scrubbing the part UNDER the pans spotless (and the sides) and then the whole front, and then the counters...and oh jeez am i paying for it today. and yet. i have dinner to make, and a load of laundry to do, and...some freakish ambition to actually eliminate the floordrobe. for now. it never lasts, and justin spends weeks looking for things that he expects to be on top of the dryer and i spend weeks looking for things that i expect to be in my heap o' floordrobe but are actually hanging up or folded away, but it's so nice to see it clean. i only hope that i have enough spoons to manage it. i might even be able to make the bed when i'm done. (i need to change the sheets and wash them, and THAT'S a project all in itself.)

it doesn't help that when i start cleaning i go manic right up until i fall down and can't move for several days. *sigh*

(i love 'floordrobe' too. i refused to let my mother see my otherwise lovely bedroom until she promised not to mock my floordrobe.)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-08 01:37 pm (UTC)
Those are definitely issues that I don't have to deal with, and I am grateful. I'm just lazy!
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From: simulated_knave
2012-03-07 05:06 am (UTC)
Build a pillow fort in the basement?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-07 12:07 pm (UTC)
NO! ;-)
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[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2012-03-07 07:38 pm (UTC)
i know you live in your own home. but i live in an apartment. when stuff comes to that point, i take it down to our laundry room and leave it with a note: free to a good home! i've gotten rid of so much stuff that way!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2012-03-08 01:59 am (UTC)
We have a tradition of leaving things on the curb for people to take the day before trash day. Which is what I did, and by gum if they weren't gone within half an hour.
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[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2012-03-08 02:40 am (UTC)
yay!!!
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