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Relief and frazzlement - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Relief and frazzlement [Jan. 16th, 2013|12:20 am]
Zoethe
We got to see Ferrett briefly this evening. I'm sorry I didn't write about it earlier, but I was completely internet fried between here, Facebook, Fetlife, and texting. He looked better than expected so shortly after the surgery.

Which is to say that he looked like a helicopter crash.

I got through the talk from the nurse, and through talking to him and holding his hand, with a reassuring smile on my face. He was alert enough to respond to us, and speak love with his eyes. He squeezed my hand many times. He tried to tell me he loved me, but he had a ventilator tube down his throat so I shushed him and told him that I knew. His dad, though shaken, was also great about smiling at him. Our dear friends Kat and Eric, and Karla were there to hold onto Erin while she made the first adjustment to the shock of seeing him looking so wan and helpless, then Erin talked to him and our friends all talked to him. The nurse asked about the nail polish, and he flexed his hands to show it off, indicating that he understood. I went back to the bedside to kiss him goodnight, and we all walked back to the waiting room.

Where I had to put my head between my knees for a very long time.

...

I know that he's doing really well, and that he's strong and healthy. I know that the post-surgical frailty is completely normal and that he will be getting stronger by the hour. I know he will look SO much better when I see him tomorrow. But wow, that was hard.

I'm wearing his wedding ring on the middle finger of my right hand. I look forward to returning it to him when he can tell me he loves me.
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[User Picture]From: brujah
2013-01-16 05:27 am (UTC)
I felt really guilty, thinking I might have upset you with my message. Kept me awake for a long while, actually. But it's a scary thing and it's even more scary if you have no idea what to expect.

Love to you all.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-16 05:32 am (UTC)
Oh, gosh, not at all. It helped me maintain that smile and outward calm when I had to. Love you, dear.
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[User Picture]From: bunny42
2013-01-16 05:28 am (UTC)
Oh, Gini, what a relief! I've been checking every 20 minutes or so, all evening long. I couldn't imagine what might be happening. I lost my Henry quite suddenly at the age of 52. I was so hoping the same wasn't going to be your fate. Thank goodness he's okay!

He needs a teddy bear to hug when he coughs. The local heart hospital in Palm Beach Gardens actually provides one. They will want him to cough, and it hurts like hell. But it apparently helps to be hugging a teddy bear tightly.

Get some rest. Such an ordeal. You are strong. You'll be fine, and so will Ferrett.

My best thoughts to you both.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-16 05:33 am (UTC)
I will keep the teddy bear in mind. Thank you. Sorry for the worrisome delay. We went to dinner, then Erin and I took a much-needed walk.
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[User Picture]From: kathrynrose
2013-01-16 05:29 am (UTC)
Hug hug hug. I wish there was a way I could "be there" for you.
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[User Picture]From: kehrli
2013-01-16 05:29 am (UTC)
Thank you for keeping us posted. Hugs for you both, and very glad to hear that he's on the other side of the surgery.
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[User Picture]From: cahwyguy
2013-01-16 05:39 am (UTC)
Glad to hear that he made it through OK. Rest, and you'll both be stronger in the morning.
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[User Picture]From: cyan_blue
2013-01-16 06:13 am (UTC)
Very glad he is coming through this well, and many hugs for the shock of his appearance.

Please don't feel like you have to keep us updated every second. While it's good to have news, your own well being comes before our having up-to-the minute news.
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[User Picture]From: jesskastar
2013-01-16 01:30 pm (UTC)
This! It is more important for you to spend time with him and Erin, as well as taking care of yourself, than keeping people updated.

Thank you for all you have shared during this stressful time. I'm very glad he came through and is now on the upswing. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: mplsindygirl
2013-01-16 06:14 am (UTC)
*hugs* I"m glad you have a strong support team there with you. take good care of yourselves.
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[User Picture]From: midnightsjane
2013-01-16 06:31 am (UTC)
I have nursed a lot of people recovering from bypass surgery, and the first few days are tough, but most people are up and about by day three. I'm sure he'll do just fine, and that he's in good hands.
Take care of yourself; it's okay to take some time just for you, to recharge. He's being looked after, and if you exhaust yourself, you won't be doing him any favours. That's advice I give to all the families of my patients, BTW.
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[User Picture]From: aiela
2013-01-16 02:34 pm (UTC)
When my daughter was 13 months old, she was hospitalized for a particularly horrible rotavirus. I spent the first two nights sleeping in the recliner next to her crib. The third day, the nurses basically ambushed me and killed me with kindness, telling me to GO HOME, eat a real meal, get some sleep, and they promised they'd take care of her. Leaving that night was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I felt so much better in the morning. I was very thankful they were able to convince me that it was okay to leave.
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[User Picture]From: miripanda
2013-01-16 06:54 am (UTC)
Thanks for all the updates. Thinking good thoughts for you and yours.
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[User Picture]From: naamah_darling
2013-01-16 07:48 am (UTC)
I have not commented 'til now for fear of not knowing what to say, but I have been thinking of you and him and your family, and wishing you the very best. He has all my love, and you, and those waiting, have all my care.

It feels like a platitude, god it feels like a platitude, but take care of yourself.

I will see if I can manage to paint my nails and have a picture waiting for when he feels up to it. <3

I am glad he is still with us.
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[User Picture]From: splagxna
2013-01-16 07:59 am (UTC)
i am so glad to hear it went well. been thinking of your family a lot today.
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[User Picture]From: andrewducker
2013-01-16 08:47 am (UTC)
Thank you for keeping us updated regularly, I'm sure he'll be much better tomorrow.
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[User Picture]From: bart_calendar
2013-01-16 09:09 am (UTC)
Hugs.
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[User Picture]From: tormentedartist
2013-01-16 09:24 am (UTC)
Thanks for keeping us updated! And you are right he will be better tomorrow.
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