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Ferrett improving. Me an emotional rollercoaster mess - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Ferrett improving. Me an emotional rollercoaster mess [Jan. 19th, 2013|01:25 pm]
Zoethe
Ferrett is feeling much better, and is in a good ward with really helpful staff. He's been up doing the recovery laps around the ward. He's eating.

I'm a mess. I was filled with grouchy fury this morning--coaxed out of it a good deal by Erin, who insisted that we go for a jog. Getting out in the fresh air and sunshine was definitely a good thing.

But then I read a response from a friend on a completely unrelated topic on Facebook that felt like a mild scold to me, and I broke down and sobbed for five minutes. It's the kind of thing that usually wouldn't bother me at all, and today just tore me up.

This is all going to be long and slow in so many ways besides physical.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: kathrynrose
2013-01-19 06:34 pm (UTC)
Gini, are you getting any sleep yet? Is someone tasked with making sure you eat regularly and take care of you?

::HUG::

Still wrapping light around you and Ferrett both.
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[User Picture]From: elbiesee
2013-01-19 07:17 pm (UTC)
I'm just going to agree with Kathryn, here. Go eat a good meal that requires real utensils, then go have a lay-down.

Good nurses are worth their weight in chocolate. Sounds like Ferrett is in good hands.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-19 07:22 pm (UTC)
I've eaten. I even got out for a jog in the sunshine today. It's just a lot of stuff to deal with, and easier to transfer it to stupid things than face it straight on.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-19 07:21 pm (UTC)
Yes, I slept well last night. Erin is taking care of me, though she needs taking care of, too.
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[User Picture]From: kathrynrose
2013-01-19 07:37 pm (UTC)
Ok good. I'm including Erin in my light bubble. :)

She needs taking care of, too, but for now trust that job to someone else. Does someone have that job?

::hug::
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-19 07:51 pm (UTC)
Nope, but I'm calling in reinforcements. Thanks.
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[User Picture]From: kathrynrose
2013-01-19 07:56 pm (UTC)
Excellent. ::HUG::
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[User Picture]From: sacramentalist
2013-01-19 07:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

You've been so worried and been so strong all week, it's no wonder you have chinks in your armor. And you know what? You're allowed to :)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-19 07:51 pm (UTC)
I don't like it.
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[User Picture]From: sacramentalist
2013-01-19 08:00 pm (UTC)
You're only super-human
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[User Picture]From: laplor
2013-01-19 08:25 pm (UTC)
Sacramentalist is right!

You have held it together until now because you had to, but with the worst of the crisis over you can (almost) spare a little while to fall apart.

It's beautifully normal, although difficult to deal with.

At a similar point, I had a crying, raging "fit" in a bathroom, and then picked up and carried on. It's even more important now that you rest, and get that fresh air and good food that you need to carry on.
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[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2013-01-20 11:54 pm (UTC)
mari concurs.
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[User Picture]From: andrewducker
2013-01-19 07:55 pm (UTC)
*hug*

Entirely to be expected - You've held all of this emotions inside of you, and once you start to relax they're going to come out of you.

I hope that you have good people to cry on.
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[User Picture]From: cyan_blue
2013-01-19 08:04 pm (UTC)
Hugs, Gini - this is totally normal under the circumstances - you've been doing so much, and going through so much - anyone would have a short fuse and frayed nerves and be low on cope at this point. You are doing the most important thing which is Ferrett-care, and I'm glad that you have Erin there to do the you-care.
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[User Picture]From: trillian42
2013-01-19 10:02 pm (UTC)
As I told someone when my mom was in the hospital this last time when she almost died, "I try to only have one freak out a day, and I try to get out of the room to do it." Emphasis on "try." Being a patient advocate is exhausting. Take care of yourself, too.
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[User Picture]From: clodia_risa
2013-01-19 11:14 pm (UTC)
[all the hugs]
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[User Picture]From: sylphon
2013-01-20 04:53 pm (UTC)
Honestly, it may hit you ever when he is home. It is a lot to deal with, and it's mortality hitting you flat in the nose. It's plenty ok to be shaky and let yourself have some breakdown times too. Just try and keep to your outline as best you can, and make sure you and Erin get plenty of rest )or as much as possible), since fatigue will just exacerbate any stress :-( *hugs tight*
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