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Timing is everything [Jan. 19th, 2013|02:31 pm]
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Ferrett just texted me the first photo of his incision. It's a very good incision. Nice and clean.

So of course I'm sobbing, feeling faint, and can't even imagine getting off this couch.

Also? I have to leave NOW to go to a new client meeting. When I can't even imagine standing up.

Timing is everything.

EDIT: Called client, moved it until tomorrow. Now just have to get myself together for the rest of the day.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2013-01-19 08:17 pm (UTC)

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You're a survivor. We super-humans are entitled to the occasional let-down of our defenses. It sucks not to be able to cope with everything, in every way, all the time. Period. But it won't last. Cut yourself some slack, woman. Take a moment to fall apart and regroup. If he's well enough to be taking pictures of his incision, then it's time for you to give yourself a pat on the back, a rest, and some chocolate. The time to collapse is after the emergency is over, not during it. So you're right on track. We superwomen have to stick together.

FWIW, I'm sending psychic energy your way. Wish it were chocolate.
[User Picture]From: sacramentalist
2013-01-19 10:21 pm (UTC)

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Great comment.
[User Picture]From: sylphon
2013-01-20 04:50 pm (UTC)

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I almost wish we could upvote comments, this is spot on!
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2013-01-20 05:00 pm (UTC)

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Thanks! Especially the chocolate part, am I right?
From: anonymousalex
2013-01-20 06:10 pm (UTC)

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Chocolate makes almost anything better.

-Alex
[User Picture]From: sylphon
2013-01-20 07:45 pm (UTC)

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Only if it's good chocolate, that crappy stuff that comes in the gold coins of youth and/or the advent calendars never make anyone feel better ;-)

But so very very right!
[User Picture]From: jesskastar
2013-01-19 08:28 pm (UTC)

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Well said, bunny42 !
[User Picture]From: mplsindygirl
2013-01-19 09:27 pm (UTC)

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Wise move to shift the client and spend time taking care of yourself. You've been through a hell of a lot. *hugs* Sending supportive thoughts as you move through this place.
From: simulated_knave
2013-01-19 09:27 pm (UTC)

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No client wants their lawyer to burst into tears in a meeting. :) You did the right thing moving that meeting.*

I believe in you.

*Please disregard this statement if it makes you more likely to burst into tears at your next client meeting. ;)
[User Picture]From: dr_phil_physics
2013-01-20 12:29 am (UTC)

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During my reading at ConFusion, there was a small pretty princess nails decorating party going on. I'll share the stunning B&W photos later. (grin)
All the best to both of you.

Dr. Phil
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2013-01-20 02:50 am (UTC)

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How wonderful and kind. We miss you all!
[User Picture]From: voiceofanangel
2013-01-20 05:42 am (UTC)

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You, my dear, are full of awesome. I hope you feel much better tomorrow.
[User Picture]From: dabble
2013-01-20 11:03 am (UTC)

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My entirely stoic boyfriend only got faint when he saw my heart beating during my scan.

It has nothing to do with being weak, and everything to do with being strong. It's like all that stress is revealed in one intimate display, whether it be a photo or a scan. </p>

Be kind to yourself.

I came here to get updates (as a regular Ferret reader) and I'm seeing a very strong, loving woman. Be very good to yourself x

[User Picture]From: dana3
2013-01-20 04:52 pm (UTC)

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Great incision = good news! Yes, please take your down time so you don't get sick. This has been extremely high stress, and a bit of R&R is indicated. bunny42 has it totally right!
[User Picture]From: troutwaxer
2013-01-20 05:16 pm (UTC)

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My wife had a horrible accident in 1990, during which she broke... I'll spare you the catalogue of injuries and simply say "everything." I've walked down the hallway to the operating room with her 20-30 times since her accident (sorry, I lost count around number 25.) The point being that I'm good at dealing with stuff like this and I would strongly suggest that you take some time off from the whole thing. Visit Ferrett once today then go whoop it up with some friends or something.

I know that sounds very cold and uncaring, but you need to renew your strength so that you can come back to Ferrett with some energy and some emotional resources of your own, because if you can't do that it stops being "we took a break for some surgery" and starts being "the ongoing disaster of Ferrett's surgery and my emotional reaction."

If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of Ferrett.
[User Picture]From: myskat
2013-01-20 05:36 pm (UTC)

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well said trout, and women especially are not likely to leave their bedside post without alot of encouragement
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2013-01-20 07:17 pm (UTC)

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I found myself unwilling to leave my mom in the hospital, because I saw other people there, who had no form of advocacy. There was no one to question, to protect them from carelessness or apathy. If I hadn't been there for my mom, that foolish ER doctor who slapped her on beta blockers would have killed her. I had to do research to find that the symptoms she was exhibiting were due to the beta blockers, which her own cardiologist didn't know they were giving her. I don't know how people without advocacy survive a hospital stay. Luck plays a big part in it, and it shouldn't have to.

So it's tough to leave the bedside, unless you have someone you trust who can spell you, allow you to regroup and recharge. I'm sure you have people you can count on, letting you feel free to tend to yourself. In the end, it won't help anyone if you collapse, too.
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2013-01-20 07:38 pm (UTC)

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I need to add that I met some of the finest nursing personnel anyone could ask for. I pitched in and did whatever I could to take some of the burden off of them, and they appreciated my efforts. Unfortunately, there were a few who shouldn't have been there. They are the ones who made me reluctant to leave my post. I could never be a nurse. They are, for the most part, angels on Earth. I hope I didn't inadvertently insult anyone who has devoted his or her life to the care of others.
[User Picture]From: troutwaxer
2013-01-21 02:59 am (UTC)

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It's definitely a balancing act. I can remember a couple of times when I've had to yell at nurses or doctors and it really paid off.

On the other hand, when my wife first had her accident, I nearly killed myself in the weeks following and almost pushed myself into full-blown psychosis.

The very worst thing you can do to yourself is sit in the waiting room during surgery because there are a ton of frightened, nervous, desperate people in that room, and the energy is very, very bad. Arrange for a nurse to call you when your relative is in the recovery room and spend the surgical time doing something for yourself; it's the last chance you'll get for some time, so read that book you just bought, preferably in a nice cafe. Go shopping. Do something to recharge your batteries, because you might not get a chance to rest and relax for weeks and weeks.

Just don't go too far from the hospital for obvious reasons.
[User Picture]From: mariadkins
2013-01-20 11:43 pm (UTC)

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If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of Ferrett.

Yup.