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The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness - Finally letting go [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Finally letting go [Jul. 17th, 2013|10:29 am]
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Because I've worked really hard at scheduling everything away from the vacation, I have almost no work to do today or tomorrow. I am therefore declaring today a cleaning day at my house. In the course of working hard and being sick, this place has turned into a cluttered catastrophe! I can't stand the idea of going away and then coming home to this mess. So I'm de-messing (deep cleaning is just going to have to wait, I fear).

And one of the things that I am doing is bagging up the mountain of too-large clothes that's been sitting in my basement for the better part of a year, and taking it all to Good Will. This is HUGE for me. I have been terrified of letting go of those clothes, because the last time I lost weight, I gained it all back. I have this weird fear that as soon as I get rid of the clothes I will balloon back up. Like those clothes are some kind of magic totem.

They aren't. What they are is a drag on my psyche, a blot on the landscape of my home, and a crutch I don't need. I have not lost any weight in the last year, but I haven't gained any, either, and I feel really well-balanced where I am. I am ready to let go.

And reclaim about 8 square feet of floor space in my home.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ba1126
2013-07-17 02:41 pm (UTC)

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Congrats! I know that is totally a big step!!Congrats on getting the pounds off, and even more for keeping them off!! AND for declaring it by pitching the baggage!
[User Picture]From: mplsindygirl
2013-07-17 06:37 pm (UTC)

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That is exciting! I'm so pleased for you :)
[User Picture]From: tinhuviel
2013-07-17 07:04 pm (UTC)

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I can deeply relate to that fear of giving up clothes I may have to use again. Even now, despite my weight being the lowest it's been since age 13, I still wear pants around the house that I could never wear in public, 'cos they'd fall down and scandalise the neighbourhood with impromptu moonery. I'm so proud of you for taking that leap and having faith in yourself!
[User Picture]From: cyan_blue
2013-07-18 02:07 am (UTC)

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Go you!
From: anonymousalex
2013-07-18 02:48 am (UTC)

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BTDT. I just got rid of some bigger clothes that've been sitting around so long I don't remember how long it's been. It's both scary and liberating.

-Alex
[User Picture]From: labelleizzy
2013-07-20 01:37 am (UTC)

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"What they are is a drag on my psyche, a blot on the landscape of my home, and a crutch I don't need. "

I feel you with this one. I'm filling the recycle bin with OMG so many old paper files, gradebooks and calendars... from jobs I haven't had in nearly 5 years. And legal and tax and insurance crap dating back to my PREVIOUS marriage, ten years ago.

Finally I know: nobody's going to want or need that stuff and GOD it's good to dump it.

Hooray you, open space in the home is so very very nice!