|Finally letting go
||[Jul. 17th, 2013|10:29 am]
Because I've worked really hard at scheduling everything away from the vacation, I have almost no work to do today or tomorrow. I am therefore declaring today a cleaning day at my house. In the course of working hard and being sick, this place has turned into a cluttered catastrophe! I can't stand the idea of going away and then coming home to this mess. So I'm de-messing (deep cleaning is just going to have to wait, I fear).|
And one of the things that I am doing is bagging up the mountain of too-large clothes that's been sitting in my basement for the better part of a year, and taking it all to Good Will. This is HUGE for me. I have been terrified of letting go of those clothes, because the last time I lost weight, I gained it all back. I have this weird fear that as soon as I get rid of the clothes I will balloon back up. Like those clothes are some kind of magic totem.
They aren't. What they are is a drag on my psyche, a blot on the landscape of my home, and a crutch I don't need. I have not lost any weight in the last year, but I haven't gained any, either, and I feel really well-balanced where I am. I am ready to let go.
And reclaim about 8 square feet of floor space in my home.
Congrats! I know that is totally a big step!!Congrats on getting the pounds off, and even more for keeping them off!! AND for declaring it by pitching the baggage!
That is exciting! I'm so pleased for you :)
I can deeply relate to that fear of giving up clothes I may have to use again. Even now, despite my weight being the lowest it's been since age 13, I still wear pants around the house that I could never wear in public, 'cos they'd fall down and scandalise the neighbourhood with impromptu moonery. I'm so proud of you for taking that leap and having faith in yourself!
BTDT. I just got rid of some bigger clothes that've been sitting around so long I don't remember how long it's been. It's both scary and liberating.
"What they are is a drag on my psyche, a blot on the landscape of my home, and a crutch I don't need. "
I feel you with this one. I'm filling the recycle bin with OMG so many old paper files, gradebooks and calendars... from jobs I haven't had in nearly 5 years. And legal and tax and insurance crap dating back to my PREVIOUS marriage, ten years ago.
Finally I know: nobody's going to want or need that stuff and GOD it's good to dump it.
Hooray you, open space in the home is so very very nice!