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The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness - Hypersensitive, or legitimately irked? [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Hypersensitive, or legitimately irked? [Mar. 7th, 2014|01:08 pm]
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Lifted at the gym yesterday. I'm a little miffed. I was using the cross-cable machine, and had just switched to an exercise that only required one side when one of the personal trainers came in and started using the other side with his client without asking if they were interrupting me. I didn't say anything, but a little while later he went back to it when a man was using it. He stopped to check in with the man that they weren't interrupting his routine. Now, it might be that he was just concentrating the first time and realized his gaff afterward, which is why I didn't make a deal out of it. But if it happens again, you can bet that I will speak up!

The thing is, I know that dismissive treatment happens to women in gyms, particularly around the weight room. It's not that unusual to see some guy's eyebrow go up when I skip by the small, pastel-colored dumbbells and reach for the regular weights. And to be honest, not many women are putting in much time in the weight room there. Which is a pity, because lifting is so good for women.

I don't like feeling paranoid. But if this trainer treats me in the same way again, he and the management are all going to experience a "teachable moment."
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: halfmoon_mollie
2014-03-07 06:18 pm (UTC)

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Yeah, give it a chance. I do understand about that.
[User Picture]From: ba1126
2014-03-07 06:27 pm (UTC)

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Sounds like you're gonna get a chance to kick butt!!Go for it!
[User Picture]From: blergeatkitty
2014-03-07 06:40 pm (UTC)

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I totally understand. Relatedly, you never, ever see a boxing trainer correct the form or give tips to a male boxer they don't personally train...but women? That's a different story. I usually dryly thank them and say, "I'll be sure to mention that to my trainer before my next match."
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 05:29 am (UTC)

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That kind of disrespect really pisses me off. Jackasses.
[User Picture]From: noshot
2014-03-12 06:17 pm (UTC)

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they're probably just trying to pick you up, not actually give you boxing tips lol
[User Picture]From: blergeatkitty
2014-03-12 06:19 pm (UTC)

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Works every time, too. I know the closest way to my heart (and/or pants) is to be told I'm doing something badly! ;-)
[User Picture]From: noshot
2014-03-12 06:25 pm (UTC)

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You didn't use proper grammar in your reply; you should've said "I know that..."
[User Picture]From: blergeatkitty
2014-03-12 06:27 pm (UTC)

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That's so hot.
From: (Anonymous)
2014-03-07 08:58 pm (UTC)

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Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Or in this case, distractedness, etc. I think you're wise to wait and see if it happens again. Although you would not be out of line to pull that person aside and just mention it, as in, "I don't know if you realized, but I was using that machine. Next time please ask."
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 05:30 am (UTC)

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It was the reason why I didn't make a deal of it at the time. I do thoughtless stuff, too.
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2014-03-07 11:20 pm (UTC)

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You're kidding! Pastel-colored barbells? Seriously? That's almost actionable. What, are they supposed to match your outfit? That's pretty blatant. That trainer apparently represents a general attitude at your gym. I realize it's hard to be taken seriously when you're relatively new at the facility. I see now that the reason they didn't blow me off at mine was that I actually did work with one of their trainers for the first few months. Nobody was gonna mess with HIM, so they treated me with respect. Otherwise, I probably would have been ignored, too. As it is, I often feel invisible. And intimidated. Not fun.

Pastel barbells??????
From: diatryma
2014-03-08 01:28 am (UTC)

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I think it's useful to have such things around because weightlifting is already coded pretty seriously male. Pastel dumbbells (I've never seen barbells) make it clear that yes, this is something you can do. Not everyone needs the baby steps, but I very much do.
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2014-03-08 01:40 am (UTC)

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The ones at my gym are stored by weight, from smallest to heaviest. The light ones are just smaller. That's all the indication I need to know where to start. I find pastel colors kind of insulting, and I'm not even much of a feminist. To each his (in this case her) own, I guess. I'd rather see bright colors all over the place, but unisex. When I go to use one of the training machines, I see how many plates the previous user was able to lift. I nearly always have to adjust to a much lower number. But sometimes I can do more! That's kind of a kick.

You CAN do it. Start slowly and work your way up. You'll be amazed how quickly you can add more weight. It's one of the more inspiring forms of exercise, I think, because you improve nearly every time you go.
From: diatryma
2014-03-08 03:41 am (UTC)

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Or I don't go. Gyms are expensive and I don't know anything about weightlifting. It's not something one can just *do*, not if one is me. I'd like everything brightly colored, too, but it's scary enough as it is.

(context: there were Planet Fitness commercials on during Jeopardy and I looked up reviews to see if they're any good, and most of the reviews I saw were from weightlifters mocking the lazy fat people who don't lift weights because they want everything to be easy. Way too much judging going on when the gym seems to be geared toward people who hate gyms and need explicit help getting over it.)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 05:41 am (UTC)

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Planet Fitness gets crap from "serious" lifters because they don't allow loud grunting and 'rhoidhead behavior. It's actually a pretty beginner-friendly environment.

Not all gyms are expensive. Mine is $20 a month, and that includes swimming pool.
[User Picture]From: reynai
2014-03-08 02:55 pm (UTC)

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The PF I go to is rather like that, yeah, though depending on what time/day I go, it can have a very different feel due to who's there. Weekday evenings it's stuffed to the gills with buff dudes doing free weights, and it gets a bit intimidating working out at those times. Fortunately, weekends and during the day tend to be a lot more female/non-buff balanced so I try to go then.
[User Picture]From: bunny42
2014-03-08 01:46 am (UTC)

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Oh, and it looks like barbells have weight disks that you add to the ends of the bar to make them heavier. From what I gather, dumbbells are a solid molded weight unit. You are right. Those are the ones at my gym that are racked by weight. They also have the barbells in a different area. zoethe had it right, too.
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 05:35 am (UTC)

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It's not like they are racked for the use of women. They are just the lighter ones that are like something you'd pick up at Target. In fact, the trainer in question, who was training a much older man, had him using a pair of them for bent butterflies.

The gym has been really terrific and supportive. This is the only guy I've run into who has done anything like this. He's pretty new. It might just be him getting his "legs."
[User Picture]From: fallconsmate
2014-03-08 12:56 am (UTC)

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i think it's an absolutely reasonable thing to be irked about. the trainer disrespected you, and if YOU were using the machine, should have done something else with his client until YOU were done.

jackass. *sighs* i'm having a "not patient with people" day right here.
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 05:42 am (UTC)

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I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. For now.
From: anonymousalex
2014-03-08 02:53 am (UTC)

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The paranoia, it's annoying, no? The not knowing, and wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt so you must doubt yourself instead but you are justified in your position of course even though you don't want to appear oversensitive and GODDAMMIT, I JUST WANTED TO WORK OUT NOT RATTLE AROUND IN MY HEAD.

-Alex
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 05:41 am (UTC)

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So very true.
[User Picture]From: kmg_365
2014-03-08 01:58 pm (UTC)

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When he approached the other guy, was the other guy using both cable stations either at the time or was between sets? If so, I can see why he would have asked the guy and didn't ask you.

The trainer at our club always asks if someone is done with equipment, regardless of gender and regardless of the fact that training sessions get priority there. What I usually encounter is a fellow gym goer taking weights or machines I am using without asking if I am done. These are the same clowns that don't wipe down machines when they are done.
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-08 06:42 pm (UTC)

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No, that guy was just using the one side of the machine. Which is why I began to wonder if it was a respect toward women issue. But like I said, it might have just been a mistake. I will give him the benefit of the doubt for now.
[User Picture]From: noshot
2014-03-12 06:22 pm (UTC)

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I feel your pain. It's like when I used to work in the restaurants as a cook, and I'd have women tell me how to do my job...even butt-bumping me out of the way and taking over my shit. It was really insulting for someone who'd been in the business for 6 years.

what you should do, is next time you see this guy bench pressing, go start lifting one side of it so he loses balance, and say "oh sorry, I thought you were just using the middle"
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2014-03-13 12:39 pm (UTC)

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I'm surprised by that, because the restaurant world is allegedly so male-dominated. But I guess whatever environ you are in, the long-term folk are likely to be disrespectful.

As amusing as that idea is, I wouldn't want to injure anyone!
[User Picture]From: noshot
2014-03-16 12:12 am (UTC)

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...they were waitresses