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Here thar be blood! - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Here thar be blood! [Oct. 1st, 2003|09:38 am]
[Current Mood |crankycranky]

I'm on the rag again. Considering that I started at age 13, and subtracting for pregnancies and such, this is about my 350th period.

This is the best plan evolution could come up with?

Seriously, since predators are attracted to the scent of blood, what kind of plan made cavewomen targets 13 times a year? I suppose that the survivors were the ones who conceived fastest and most often, thereby bleeding less frequently while simultaneously cranking out more progeny. Still, no other mammal goes through this continual monthly cycle, even the other prey animals. Why do we have to be so damn special?

I have heard from doctors and read in studies that women, even the heaviest bleeders, only lose a few tablespoons of blood (usually two, no more than four) during a period. Consumer Reports did a review of feminine hygiene products for which they declared that most women really only needed one high-absorbency sanitary pad per cycle, and that changing them is simply a matter of comfort and cleanliness, not necessity.

The whole bunch of you is full of shit.

I have passed clots the size of a teacup poodle. I have soaked pads that started out weighing an ounce and went into the trash hefting in at half a pound. I have sneezed and gushed enough blood to make me think I've hemorrhaged. In one particularly gruesome incident a sexual encounter left the bed looking like murder had been committed - and this was after I thought my period was over.

And I'm not a heavy bleeder.

Women envy my cycles. On the average they last only three or four days. I know women who use both pads and tampons together and soak through several sets of this double protection over the course of their worst days, who bleed a full seven days. When I have a heavy cycle I'm alarmed - and my heavy is a light for some people.

"Pooh pooh," say the doctors. "It only seems like a lot of blood." Right. It's some strange gravitational anomaly that causes the used products to weigh as much as a wet diaper. Two tablespoons of water poured into a sanitary napkin wouldn't make my underwear sag. It must be all the iron in the blood we're losing that makes it extra heavy.

Right now I'm crampy and cranky and just wish I could crawl back into bed. I remain victim to some biological imperative inexplicably superior in the distant past. Don't tell me it's not as bad as I think.

I have a handgun.

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[User Picture]From: shadesong
2003-10-01 07:12 am (UTC)
I swear, one of these days I'm going to try those cup thingies. And empty them into measuring cups. That ain't no couple of teaspoons. That's the Tigris or the Euphrates, man. Sometimes both.

I hear you on the poodle clots, too. So gross.
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[User Picture]From: myshanter
2003-10-01 10:10 am (UTC)


I have used them. And it definitely ISN'T a couple of teaspoons. The cup thingies are great when you want less mess during sex though....
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[User Picture]From: diamondrose81
2003-10-01 07:21 am (UTC)
Yeah your not the only one that feels they are full of bull..Shot since I have had my first period it has always been heavy, and the Doctors told me the same thing as you..But you know its bad when you are so weak and you have to fight your way out of bed..There have been days that I slept for over 15 to 18 hours because I was just to weak to move..I also think as the years go buy the Doctors get dumber and dumber..Hey it could just be me..But I have to deal with Military Doctors..And I swear they are the worst..
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[User Picture]From: pkthunder
2003-10-01 07:30 am (UTC)
Heh - not only are we attracting large toothy animals, some of us are too weak to fight back when we're bleeding.
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[User Picture]From: law_witch
2003-10-01 09:42 am (UTC)
LOL - you made the same mistake my hubby made "here honey, just aim for the O in the coke can."

you could SEE the oh fuck look all over his face!
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[User Picture]From: therocker616
2003-10-01 07:44 am (UTC)
I had to go on birth control at age 12 to ease my periods. I would have to miss school for sometimes a week and a half because they were so bad. This is why I will only go to a female gyno because they know what you are going through.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-10-02 01:58 am (UTC)
I am lucky never to have had problems like that, but knew girls who did. Brutal - and I'm sure some people thought you were faking or being a wimp. Bastards.
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[User Picture]From: lothie
2003-10-01 08:04 am (UTC)
We menstruate cuz we don't go into heat. I dunno if that's a good thing or not though...:S
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-10-01 08:47 am (UTC)
"Can you believe that bitch cheated on me when she was in heat?"
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[User Picture]From: hookncrook
2003-10-01 08:26 am (UTC)


The reasons doctors say that is because perdominately GYNs are men and they have never had blood gush out between their legs in their whole life. They don't know what they are talking about at all. I bleed way more than 3 or 4 tablespoons.

What a crock... That is why I am personally and politically against males being allowed to be GYN's... they don't have the equipment, they don't know what it does, they are only sick perverse men wanting to rule women in the most primative of ways.

My mother had very heavy bleeding and the male GYN wanted to operate on her... she refused and talked to her friends...every one of them had increased bleeding as they got older.
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[User Picture]From: loralai
2003-10-01 01:30 pm (UTC)

Re: Men

does this mean that there shouldn't be female doctors checking prostates?
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From: (Anonymous)
2003-10-01 09:16 am (UTC)

Marvelous Side-Effects

The birth control shot, Depo Provera, has a very interesting side effect that almost all users "suffer" from....the complete cessation of their period! Let's hear it for the shot!!!!

Kat from Norwalk
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[User Picture]From: moominmuppet
2003-10-01 10:08 am (UTC)

Re: Marvelous Side-Effects

Except for the chemical chastity-belt effect it has on many of its users... It's definitely a love it or hate it product.

Nuvaring and the patch can both easily be used to skip periods, too, though. Very handy.
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[User Picture]From: zigurat
2003-10-01 09:28 am (UTC)
Any doctor that pooh poohs is a moron.

I've known one woman who had to be on birth control pills to avoid blood transfusion. Seriously. She bled heavily for one week every two weeks, without it. That's one on and one off. She absolutely became anemic. Mild anemia is not unusual in women, as good research shows. Gee, wonder why?

Of course, it doesn't really take much fluid to soak a bed or a pad, but it does add up. Soaking one an hour is a problem even when you're in the hospital after having a baby, and you've got loads of extra blood reserves then.
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[User Picture]From: kibbles
2003-10-01 09:48 am (UTC)
The post partum bleed is the WORST. Ug. I actually saved some of the chunks that came out as I frantically called the doctor.

She said not to worry, even though I said they were the size of chicken livers. What size WAS too big then? Sheesh.

I have the most messed up system. It's time to see the repro-endo again. It's been like that my whole damn LIFE.

Forget tying my tubes -- why can't they remove my uterus? I don't need it anymore. I'm finished with it.
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[User Picture]From: dubheach
2003-10-01 12:08 pm (UTC)

Sounds good

I've had the same problem all my life as well. If you find someone who will take out the plumbing let me know!
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[User Picture]From: koibito007
2003-10-01 10:48 am (UTC)
I'm looking into getting the Mirena insert. It's new, and my step-brother's wife has it. It's kind of like an IUD, only soft, with low dosage of hormones. Lasts about five years. She's had it for some time, and likes it- says it lightens and regulates her periods pretty well, so we'll see.

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[User Picture]From: loralai
2003-10-01 01:35 pm (UTC)

oh my.

i think i have either just fallen in love with you, or am now religiously reading your lj. haven't figured out which yet...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-10-01 06:33 pm (UTC)

Re: oh my.




I'm glad you found me.
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[User Picture]From: darthfox
2003-10-01 02:09 pm (UTC)
i was always told that mentstrual blood isn't 100% blood, was the thing, but blood and other fluids, which is where the line about it only being a few tablespoons of blood comes from -- i still don't buy that it's only a few tablespoons, but i do concede that it's probably not quite the same as, say, cutting your arm and bleeding out an equivalent volume from the vein.

me, the Pill changed my life. changed. my. life. so i don't need a handgun. :-)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-10-01 06:31 pm (UTC)
That may be, but doctors just shortcut it to "you're out of your mind" so often that it's really infuriating - and the Consumer Reports bit was just completely misinformed.
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[User Picture]From: songhawk
2003-10-01 02:31 pm (UTC)
There is a condition in the European population- ~40% as I recall, that involves accumlating too much iron in the system, w/ asst'd nasty side effects. It was only noticed this century, since the treatment for it is to be bled (I kid you not- those who give blood regularly don't have this problem), and between medical bleeding and higher exposure to sharp things this just wasn't an issue for the rest of human history. Needless to say, only men get it; but i wonder if more women go for the "cessation of periods" forms of birth control if we'll see it in women too?

I take comfort at this time of the month in the fact that it could be worse. I could be a laying hen...
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-10-01 06:35 pm (UTC)
Hmm. Interesting thought. Of course, being borderline anemic all the time I'm not that worried [g].
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[User Picture]From: crwilley
2003-10-01 05:43 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh Gawd

I've heard that in some cultures, menstruation is used as rational control over reproduction by the menfolk - Wifey's trip to the Taboo Hut is a sign that she's regained her fertility after pregnancy and nursing, or something along those lines.
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[User Picture]From: crwilley
2003-10-01 05:41 pm (UTC)
I don't have a handgun of my own, but I killed a target pretty dead the time Hubby's dad took me to the range...the first time I'd ever handled a gun. Hubby and Father-in-law were both frightened.

MWAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. I'm at a point in my cycle where little fantasies about shooting Hubby drift into my brain from time to time, between little fantasies of shooting myself and making it end...

And those Consumer Reports guys can kiss my butt...my bloody, stinky, high-absorbency-pad-leaked-all-over-it-after-six-hours butt.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-10-01 06:25 pm (UTC)
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