Log in

No account? Create an account
Say it ain't so - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Say it ain't so [Nov. 26th, 2003|10:29 am]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]
[Current Music |Pirates of Pensance]

The most recent word from the Rumor Mill at Digital Bits:

We've heard from a number of interesting (and we believe
reliable) inside sources that Lucsafilm is currently making major new
changes to the original Star Wars films - the kind of changes he
began a few years ago with the theatrical "Special Edition"
releases. These changes include new special effects, revised and
updated shots and scenes, and new footage shot with actors Hayden
Christensen (Anakin) and Ian McDiarmid (the Emperor) that would
flesh out moments with their characters in the original films.
For example, an aged and scarred Hayden now appears as Anakin at
the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke removes Vader's helmet.
Among the other changes reportedly being made are the restoration
of the original "Han shoots first" moment from Star Wars and a
revamped lightsaber fight between Obi-Wan and Vader. What we've
heard meshes with what we've been told before, which is that
Lucas has always planned to release ultimate, "Archive" editions of
these films that tie in better with the new prequels. The main
question in our minds now is this: will these changes be
completed in time to appear on the DVD releases planned for next
September, or will we have to wait until after Episode III hits
theaters to see them? And if we have to wait, what versions will appear
on the DVDs? Time will tell.

George Lucas, not content with his fidgeting the first time around, is going in for another bout.

The Holy Trilogy has become Michael Jackson's face.

Think about the first time Michael had work done - it wasn't bad, but a couple things were a bit off. If he would have only gone back to the way they used to be, it would have been fine - a good thing, even.

Same with The Holy Trilogy. I'm all for restoring the original Han shoots first, and while he's at it, get rid of Luke's yowling as he plummets into oblivion at Bespin. Remove the Muppet Show moments of camera mugging from Jabba's Palace. Small extractions, and I would live happily with the other enhancements. Hell, I'll even tolerate the stupid floating droids on Tatooine.

But George won't be happy with that. He will have to fiddle, and try and make things "funnier," "cuter," his own version of "clever." Tatooine will reflect the presence of the earlier travellers - there may even be Gungans there. He will inflict his new idea of humor onto his old masterpiece, like DaVinci painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa.

Like Michael Jackson having his eyeliner tatooed.

The sad thing is, like Jackson's face, The Holy Trilogy is something that George owns, and has the money to do with as he sees fit. He looks at it and he's restless and unhappy with the results of his twiddling, but lacks the skill or perspective to fix it, and the self-control to leave it alone. His fans have to tolerate an increasing sense of horror as his self-destruction progresses. Until he commits acts that drive even the most loyal away.

Even here, the parallel continues. Jackson has allegedly violated the trust of everyone by molesting small children. And George has molested my childhood memories, sullied them with his twiddling.

Don't diddle with my memories, George.

[User Picture]From: scouseboy
2003-11-26 07:35 am (UTC)
Great stuff!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: shermel
2003-11-26 07:41 am (UTC)
God, it's bad enough having Hayden Christensen in the prequels. Parhaps, like Michael, George Lucas doesn't have enough people around him to tell him No!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: xinamarie
2003-11-26 07:54 am (UTC)
What a perfect similie.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-11-26 07:54 am (UTC)
"If you keep picking at it, it will never heal."
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: unwilly
2003-11-26 07:59 am (UTC)
That was an excellent analogy and analysis.

I wonder if we can have Lucas put in mental ward for being a suicidal danger to himself and his creations?

Or locked up for assaulting our memories.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dreagoddess
2003-11-26 07:59 am (UTC)


How can he keep doing this to us?! Dear Lord. Okay, I just need to record my original Holy Trilogy tapes on DVD to preserve them forever, and then I can ignore the later travesties. Hayden's face instead of Uncle Fester? Unthinkable! Are they going to change the blue ghost at the end to Hayden too? Sheesh. *shudder*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ls56
2003-11-26 08:39 am (UTC)
Han shoots first?

I'm trying to remember to moment you allude to.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-11-26 08:48 am (UTC)
Greedo. In the cantina. In the original version Han shoots Greedo under the table. In the Special Edition there is a sloppy cut wherein Greedo fires, managing to miss Han, and then Han shoots back.

Because George didn't want Han to seem so heartless.

Completely forgetting that you can't set up a character to have a change of heart if you establish him as a softie to begin with.

(He actually considered changing the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the guy in black is swinging around the sabre, challenging Indy to a duel, for the same reason. Cooler heads prevailed, thank the Maker.)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ls56
2003-11-26 09:13 am (UTC)
okay, I must have blocked that from memory when I saw the special ed.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: law_witch
2003-11-26 09:43 am (UTC)
It's the Orson Wells complex - like Wells, Lucas peaked early on in his career and has not been able to come to terms with that fact.

Love the Jackson analogy!!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: salix_03
2003-11-26 08:05 pm (UTC)
ah! i love your rants. such great visual imagery.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nuala
2003-11-27 06:45 am (UTC)
The first movie I can recall ever seeing on the big screen was Star Wars. (The 2nd being Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but that's irrelevant here.) I had high hopes for those original 'improvements' that were being introduced.

I was completely disgusted upon viewing them.

And now I read this. (I don't keep up with the official rumor mill pages.) Lucas's heart is in the right place, I'm sure. But all I keep hearing in my head is 'Noooooo! I'll never join you!' in a horribly petulant voice. It's time for me to go find the originals before it's too late. Before my earlist cinematic memories are dashed to the abyss.

The Holy Trilogy has become Michael Jackson's face.
That line just totally cracked me up. :o) It's a shame that it's such a true statement.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: shiftercat
2003-11-27 09:28 pm (UTC)
Funny, I was writing about this a short time ago. "The landscape of popular media without critics would be like Earth without scavengers... this is George Lucas's problem: because he did some great stuff in his youth, and got loads of money and influence from it, he's surrounded by syncophants. None of the people close to him are willing to say, "George, you've lost your touch. Pass the torch already."

Also, as a Canadian, I would like to apologize for Hayden Christensen.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tashiro
2003-11-27 10:40 pm (UTC)
I'll mention here, most of this is hear-say, and has been shot down already as rumour.

Whew. Dodged a bullet.
(Reply) (Thread)