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Who Weeps for the Turkey? - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Who Weeps for the Turkey? [Nov. 3rd, 2002|09:51 pm]
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I came across this link today:


For those who don't care to click through, it is a "Save the Turkeys" group. Rather like Greenpeace and their baby seals. You pay them a $15.00 adoption fee and they "rescue" a gobbler otherwise destined for a kitchen table somewhere. For your $15.00 fee, "you receive a color photograph of your turkey, adoption certificate, and a year's subscription to Farm Sanctuary's quarterly newsletter. A turkey adoption is also a perfect gift for the holidays and a great way to educate your friends and relatives. Farm Sanctuary is also looking for loving, vegetarian homes for rescued turkeys."




The domestic turkey as we now know it is not a fit beast for readapting to the wild. It has no place in the food chain, no vacant niche crying out for its return. It is, in sum, an artifice created only to adorn the Thanksgiving table, glistening brown and chock full of bread crumbs. It is nothing more than a Norman Rockwell picture waiting its turn to fling itself, Shmoo-like, onto a platter saved for this one annual ritual.

This is a creature that, left out in the rain, will drown looking up at the sky. It is less an animal than an animate cauliflower with a turnip pinned to the top.

And they want people to adopt these full-sized, full-grown turkeys. Creatures bred with breasts so fullsome that they can barely walk. Creatures far too stupid to contemplate their own mortality--too stupid, in fact, to be aware of their own existence. There are no circus trick turkeys, no dancing turkeys, no clever turkeys at all.

If we stop eating them, they will die out. They're poor pets, they're tough to breed successfully, and left to their own devices the young refuse to drink and expire within two days. They don't even manage to be cute.

Surely these people something better to do than drive the poor domestic turkey to extinction.

[User Picture]From: ladycathead
2002-11-04 05:59 pm (UTC)
Ha ha ha! Oh, the poor turkeys! That's hilarious...and I totally agree. What are they going to do when the novelty wears off and they realize what crappy pets these messy & mean tempered birds are?

BtW, I'm adding you back. Yay for cool people who actually live nearby me! (Does dorky little shimmy dance)
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