Log in

No account? Create an account
Weird Spam - We have a winner! - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Weird Spam - We have a winner! [Apr. 16th, 2004|01:20 pm]
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

After seeing a couple of journal entries about strange spam messages, I could not resist this message header:

Re: Card Declined, app Marka05 - shelter slater jockstrap

The text within was even stranger. Below the first broken picture link appeared these words:

He called her Ralph (or was it Ralph?).If tomato living with give a pink slip to vacuum cleaner for, then deficit near laughs out loud.Sometimes of plaintiff daydreams, but around shadow always can be kind to defendant around tape recorder!Indeed, near corporation write a love letter to dissident behind gonad.

Another red "X" was followed by:

When you see paper napkin toward, it means that hand of cashier hibernates.Now and then, near support group a big fan of onlooker inside customer.

From whence does this spammish surrealism arise? Alas, with the pictures broken and my absolute refusal to click through to a spam ad, I fear I shall never know.

From: ladytabitha
2004-04-16 05:32 pm (UTC)
...and my absolute refusal to click through to a spam ad...

I really truly really saw "lick through".
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: crystalrowan
2004-04-16 05:34 pm (UTC)
You know, it sounds like it was translated from another language by a REALLY bad piece of translating software. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
From: erisreg
2004-04-16 05:42 pm (UTC)

<lj comm="spam_poetry">

a place for everything,...;)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: gentleman_lech
2004-04-16 05:56 pm (UTC)

Re: <lj comm="spam_poetry">

You pimped it before I could!

spam_poetry: because doing anything with it other than responding is a waste of their effort. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: erisreg
2004-04-16 06:38 pm (UTC)

You pimped it before I could!

sorry, it's kinda become automatic,..:)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: miripanda
2004-04-16 05:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, my ears began to perk up when I received an offer to enlarge my "penix" absolutely free. Its like a fortune cookie computer has seized control of the airwaves...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: loralai
2004-04-16 05:57 pm (UTC)
"spammish surrealism"

~snerk~ maybe they've been spending too much time in the Dali hall of artistic wonder?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mightydoll
2004-04-16 06:21 pm (UTC)
I find it interesting the amount of legalese that's in there...It would make me concerned about trojans n' such if I were you. I never get spam with the words plaintiff or defendant in them, though I get plenty of clearly bot-composed spam.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: irishbanshee
2004-04-16 06:23 pm (UTC)

Ow! Not when finals are week after next! :)

The fact that the first sentence actually makes sense only adds to the surrealism. I also really like "sometimes of plaintiff daydreams" and "it means that hand of cashier hibernates". *g*

I think I'm gonna go figure out a way to make my brain stop hurting now. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2004-04-16 07:22 pm (UTC)

Re: Ow! Not when finals are week after next! :)

Hey! Hand of Cashier Hibernates would make a good name for an alternative band!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2004-04-16 07:44 pm (UTC)

An explanation

These days, spam filters which base the choice of what to purge vs. allow through on context and word frequencies are becoming very common. The way these filters work is they watch what the user does and does not assign as junk, and accumulates data on words, phrases, and patterns which appear in junk vs. non-junk. When new email arrives, it is assigned a score based on the words, such as a phrase appearing in junk 90% of the time (i.e. "viagra"), 0% of the time (i.e. "antediluvian"), or some other percentage. Once it has the accumulated score, it sees if that score is above or below the accepted level, and junks it or not accordingly.

The random words in there such as "shelter slater jockstrap" are an attempt to dodge the spam blocker by using words and phrases not seen in most spam, thus lowering the junk score for the email.

Of course, for the part under the "X", a different explanation applies. Spammers like to do things cheaply (otherwise they wouldn't be spamming!), so they tend to hire cheap writers for their ad copy. As it happens, a cookie company just recently laid off a huge number of fortune writers...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: danodea
2004-04-16 07:45 pm (UTC)
Spammers create these compositions in an attempt to fool filtering software. Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for spammers, most spammers are ignorant of how filtering software works.

Some of the results are amusing, in a discordian way...
(Reply) (Thread)
From: appleblossomtru
2004-04-16 08:09 pm (UTC)
"When you see paper napkin toward, it means that hand of cashier hibernates."

Sounds like a bad fortune cookie.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tygher
2004-04-16 11:32 pm (UTC)
Three words: Random Word Generator.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tearsofaclown
2004-04-21 07:35 pm (UTC)
Haha! My brother has been getting similar randomly-generated spam e-mails for a few months now, and my mother has just started getting them, too, and we've all been joking that one of these days, I should print one out, and read it at one of the open-mic nights I go to.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-04-21 07:52 pm (UTC)
Open-mic spam. Brilliant! [g]
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: taisidhe
2004-07-19 02:15 am (UTC)

sounds like code

Do you think Mata Zoethe is getting YOUR email?
(Reply) (Thread)