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Heartbreak and betrayal, at Suncoast today! - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Heartbreak and betrayal, at Suncoast today! [Sep. 21st, 2004|11:49 am]
[Current Mood |angryangry]

While doing my homework last night, I heard familiar theme music coming from Ferrett's TV in the next room, then the swoop of a lightsaber.

"Coming tomorrow," said the announcer's voice, "The Star Wars Trilogy on DVD."

"No it's not!!" I shouted back.

"Huh?" Ferrett said, "What are you talking about? It's being released tom--"

I stormed into his office. "No it isn't! What's being released tomorrow is not Star Wars! It's George Lucas' deformed changeling!"

Ferrett cowered (and rightfully so), "Ah, I get it."

I pointed an accusing finger at the TV as the ad ended. "Make him give me my movie, dammit!"

Star Wars has been a passion for me since opening night back in 1977. I was one of those weirdo geeks who saw it over and over and over again. I loved all the movies, even Return of the Jedi (except the Ewoks, of course). I bought VHS versions of the Holy Trilogy no fewer than three times. When the books started coming out, I read them all. I was part of the founding team for Echo Station and its editor for a couple years. I made my children stand outside for four hours in sub-freezing temperatures in order to be at the first showing of the Special Editions.

And then George ruined everything.

Some of the changes he made in the first two movies were pretty good. He cleaned up the effects and added a couple extra scenes. Some were awful (GREEDO DOES NOT SHOOT FIRST, DAMMIT!!!), but even so I bought the tapes. (The changes in Return of the Jedi were appalling enough that I don't know that I've ever actually watched the tape of it).

That was bad enough. I could not fathom how much worse it would get when he started making new movies.

My interest in all things Star Wars waned in the face of the mawkish, humorless movies. In my mind, they had nothing to do with the movies I loved.

But now, they cannot be avoided. Christian what's-his-fuck's face has been pasted over Anakin Skywalker's in the guest appearance of the Blue Man Group Dead Jedis at the end of the movie. Even knowing that, I was willing to grit my teeth and buy it.

Then I saw the rest of the changes. Including the addition of Naboo to the celebration at the end of the movie.

Naboo. Home planet of Queen Amidala. Supposed target of revenge of the newly evil Darth Vader. Was slated for destruction, as a sign of how bad lil' Anni was gonna get. Now it's still around, looking just fine, presumably still chock full o' Gungans.

Apparently because Darth Anni didn't have the heart to carry through with his revenge. He's not evil; he's just misunderstood.

It seems a small thing, but for me it was the final straw.

So, George, no. I will not have your bastardized love child, your freakish Frankenstein's experiment, your lumpy and misshapen creation. You are counting on my forgiveness far too much this time. Your withholding of that which I truly love will not force me to take your substituted abomination into my home. You can't make me love it.

Not this time.

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[User Picture]From: joxn
2004-09-21 04:05 pm (UTC)
I hear, in the new-new Star Wars, that Darth Vader has been digitally editted out of the scene where they blow up Alderaan. Because he's not an evil mass murderer, merely misunderstood.
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[User Picture]From: joxn
2004-09-21 04:06 pm (UTC)
Also, Alderaan shoots first.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 04:20 pm (UTC)

Re: Hear Hear

And he has made precisely as much impression on me as I reflected in my post. I couldn't even be bothered to stop a second and remember or go to IMDB and look him up.
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[User Picture]From: itches
2004-09-21 04:08 pm (UTC)
'Christian what's-his-fuck's face has been pasted over Anakin Skywalker's in the guest appearance of the Blue Man Group Dead Jedis at the end of the movie.'

I was under the impression that this was just a bad hoax. Or maybe it was just a dream that it got revealed as such. A wonderful, wonderful dream.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 04:21 pm (UTC)
No, it's the real thing.

George Lucas is no longer competent. The movies should be taken away from him.

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[User Picture]From: xforge
2004-09-21 04:10 pm (UTC)
He's due to buttrape "THX1138" as well. Well, he's free to do so, I won't be watching that.

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 04:22 pm (UTC)
I found it a yawning bore the first time around. But maybe if he adds Ewoks, Gungans, and fart jokes, it'll be a lot more fun!
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[User Picture]From: shawnj
2004-09-21 04:23 pm (UTC)
Come on, you know you want to see Hayden Christenson's ghost at the end of Jedi. ;)
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[User Picture]From: thewhitedragon
2004-09-21 04:25 pm (UTC)
WOO HOO! Can I just say that I will worship at your feet until the end of time?

I wouldn't have an issue if he released the original and the "enhanced" versions. I wholeheartedly believe in "Director's Cut" versions (I adore both versions of Legend) but he's redone key aspects of the movie in his madness.

He says that he doesn't care what the die-hard fans want; he wants "his" version. Fine... then I don't plan on buying a copy of the DVD. Without the fans, he wouldn't have had the money to make his precocious and overly CGI-enhanced (HA!) eps 1-3.

...and yeah, Solo blew a hole through Greedo first. 'nuff said.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 04:51 pm (UTC)
If he would release the original, I wouldn't care WHAT he did to his director's cut - hell, he could put Vader in a tutu.

And thank you. Worship away. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: aehallh
2004-09-21 04:33 pm (UTC)
Y'know...I'm not even much of a fan of the Star Wars stuff.. But, yeah. I have to agree. Lucas has just gone, mentally, in his old age. I thought it might just be incompetancy to begin with. But, I think its full-blown dementia caused by advanced age, now. It has to be, right?

Someone take the movies away from him. Remove his access to the director's chair, and get him a rocking chair in its place. Put him out to pasture before he cruelly rapes any more helpless movies.
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[User Picture]From: frawg_angel
2004-09-21 05:00 pm (UTC)
Good lord. I admit, I got it from Amazon, due to arrive tomorrow. But it's just not RIGHT man! shawnj has posted a link to 5 changes SINCE the 97 changes. So it's not even the bastard child... it's the 3rd generation bastard child!!!

I will say, the evil of me getting the DVD is outweighed by the fact that I have the REAL ones, on VHS from 1992 coming from eBay. I can watch the special features on DVD... but I can still watch the real movies in peace.

Good lord, he keeps changing EVERYTHING. He never learned the artists rule... You'll NEVER be happy with it! So stop futzing with it before you RUIN it completely!
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[User Picture]From: ankhsenet
2004-09-21 05:08 pm (UTC)
*Good lord, he keeps changing EVERYTHING. He never learned the artists rule... You'll NEVER be happy with it! So stop futzing with it before you RUIN it completely!*


I think I'm gonna be sick. HOW could he fuck this up!!! Some one PLEASE stop him! I even heard he's thinking about making sequal trilogy... I don't even want to think about how he thinks he can pull THAT out of his ass! Better yet... I don't want to think about it at ALL!!!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way about the movies.
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[User Picture]From: apostate_96
2004-09-21 05:39 pm (UTC)
Preach it!

Some things are forgivable or ignorable. It'd be about as bad as having celebration running rampant on Alderaan at the end of "Return of the Jedi."
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[User Picture]From: moderate_excess
2004-09-21 06:22 pm (UTC)
I have to say, he lost me as an audience when I saw the first "prequel". The fun, the adventure, and the "heart" of the first trilogy was completely missing from the new foray. I have no interest whatsoever in watching any more episodes, even on VHS. That said, I now reveal my ace-in-the-hole. I own a video disc player. Actually, I own two (2) video disc players. And I have the original trilogy on vido disc. (You know, those pre-cursors of DVD that are the size of LPs). As far as I know, the movies are the same as the theatrical release. I now look back and congratulate myself on having the foresight to buy them when I could. I had no idea that not only would a film-maker release a substantially altered version of his earlier films, but that those would be the *only* version available. It seems to me that it would behoove Lucas to give his loyal viewers the choice of owning a copy of the film as it first appeared, or his later revision. To remove that choice is truly disrespectful of the people who make your job possible. Never a good move.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 07:00 pm (UTC)
It's his own little 1984 - no version exists except the one HE says is the real movie.

Crazy, I tell ya.
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[User Picture]From: moderate_excess
2004-09-21 06:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, and p.s. How do you pronounced your LJ name? Zo-eethie? Zaethie? Zeth? Zo-eth? Smith? It's driving me nuts (short drive).
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 07:02 pm (UTC)

Very simple. Except apparently not. [g]
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[User Picture]From: severinatalyn
2004-09-21 07:31 pm (UTC)
I must say that the defense "Well, they ARE his movies" is just plain crap. They aren't just HIS movies, and I'm sure that people like Lawrence Kasdan or Irvin Kershner didn't get a say in what happened to them, even though they have a significant share in the creation of these movies. I'm also pretty certain that Sebastian Shaw is spinning in his grave. What a tribute to his memory, erasing him from a seminal scene in the movie.
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[User Picture]From: shezan
2004-09-22 02:50 pm (UTC)
Not to mention Jeremy Bulloch, whose voice suddenly disappears from the movie.
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[User Picture]From: kenp_v3
2004-09-21 07:43 pm (UTC)
Eh, I'm still gonig to buy them. Even though I thought the smart thing to do would be to destroy Naboo in Episode 3. Even though I reject the logic that has Lucas removing Sebastian Shaw from the last scene (Anakin and Vader are the same person damnit!).

Despite all that I'll still buy them. Call me a sucker if you wish. :-)
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2004-09-21 08:00 pm (UTC)

Oh, Sweetie....

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 09:11 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh, Sweetie....

He is wrong.

Pleaase drive through.
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From: tessbelle
2004-09-21 08:15 pm (UTC)


How can you not like Ewoks? LOL....I love them, but then again I probably wasn't as deeply invested in the entire series.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2004-09-21 09:14 pm (UTC)

Re: Ewoks....

1. Ewoks were SUPPOSED to be Wookiees, but George decided that Teddy Bears make for better merchandise.

2. Wookiees tearing Stormtroopers from limb to limb would be great cinema. Furry Thalidimyde babies whacking armored troops with sticks and killing them is just silly.

3. Wookies might have been able to set off those cool traps. Furry Thalidimyde babies who can't reach their stunted arms above their oversized heads would have a heck of a time carrying all those logs.

4. They were supposed to be Wookiees.
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