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Bikes and burgers, Round Two - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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Bikes and burgers, Round Two [Jul. 14th, 2005|11:26 am]
Zoethe
[Current Mood |mischievouscatty]

Well, I have to say that the financial response to my promise to eat a burger unless I could get a new bike was less than overwhelming. A few generous souls made a stand between me and cholesterol disaster, but gosh, $30.66 is not going to do the job.

spooke, though she did not contribute toward the bike, at least provided heartfelt artwork:

I'd Take a Burger





And I thank her.

I was going to let all this go, but the need has suddenly become more dire:

Last night someone set fire to my bike.

I was in the house when I heard the squealing hiss of escaping air, and someone laughing. I ran out to find that someone had doused the back tire of my poor bike in gasoline and lit it on fire. And they had laughed at it - laughed - as they ran away.

I never knew people could be so cruel.

The back end was blackened and the paint was peeling all the way up to the handlebars. I rushed my bike to the emergency bike shop, and they said it had suffered burns over 70% of its frame and would need a new tire and paint grafts. They said it would cost $5,000, to fix.

Ferrett doesn't want to spend the money. He says we should just put it down, but I love my bike and can't bear to do it. So now I have to raise money to fix my bike, Schro.

I didn't call the police because I don't want the bike burners to take revenge on me. And my bike is at the bike hospital under a different name because I hate publicity.

I don't know what to do. Please, please help me save my bike.

EDIT: Since so many people asked for it, here's a Paypal Donation Button:





LinkReply

Comments:
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[User Picture]From: hookncrook
2005-07-14 03:32 pm (UTC)
Let us see a picture of this abused bike.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:33 pm (UTC)
Um, I didn't take pictures because ... I rushed it to the shop. Yeah, that's it!
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(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand
[User Picture]From: sylphon
2005-07-14 03:32 pm (UTC)
*snort*
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[User Picture]From: hookncrook
2005-07-14 03:33 pm (UTC)
Plus you forgot the paypal button...can't solicit donations without one!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, god, I wouldn't dare put one up on this! But hey, you can click through to the original burger post! It's still there!
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From: squirrella
2005-07-14 03:38 pm (UTC)
(drive by comment)

now that's HILARIOUS. i believe you win today.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:40 pm (UTC)
That or I'm going to hell. [g]
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From: going_not_gone
2005-07-14 03:44 pm (UTC)

Kissinger sez: Trust, but verify!

I called the bike hospital and they said no burned bikes have come in. And it wasn't even open last night, in fact the only bike hospital within 100 miles of you closed in 2002. And my friend who is a certified bicycle mechanic, I asked her about this and when I said the words "paint grafts" she laughed so hard diet pepsi came out of her nose, which was messy and painful.

Please, don't believe either of us. Look at the evidence, people. Where are the pictures of this abused bike? Who is the "they" who said it needed $5,000 worth of repairs? Give us a name, zoethe, give us a phone number to call so we can check on the true condition of your bike.

I love bicycles, but I just want to be sure.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:48 pm (UTC)

Re: Kissinger sez: Trust, but verify!

OMG you what kind of evil bike hater are you!!! I can't believe you you would doubt me! And me all heart broken and worried!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ls56
2005-07-14 03:45 pm (UTC)
love the drawing.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:48 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I had to figure out some way to use it and the icon I'd created from it.
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[User Picture]From: faelad
2005-07-14 03:45 pm (UTC)
One of the best bikes I ever owned I bought at a tag sale for $10. I took it down to the bike shop and had a tube and tire replaced, and I think it cost me $16. (There might have been other work done on it, I forget.)

So for $30.66 and a spot of luck, you should be able to get the best bike evah!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:49 pm (UTC)
[splutter] But that's not the point!!!
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[User Picture]From: wikkidpixie
2005-07-14 03:50 pm (UTC)
Ahh, such gorgeousity when 2 lj dramas collide like this and form a new, deformed spawn of sarcasm!! Well done!!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, hell, it's the ideal forum for lj-drama spoofing. I'm not done yet!
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[User Picture]From: olliesmama
2005-07-14 03:51 pm (UTC)
*spews diet Coke all over the monitor*

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[User Picture]From: christilyn
2005-07-14 03:51 pm (UTC)
ROTFLMAO!!!
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[User Picture]From: geekjul
2005-07-14 03:54 pm (UTC)
Hah!

Man, I so needed a laugh today, too. You rock, chickie.
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[User Picture]From: mishamish
2005-07-14 03:55 pm (UTC)
Okay, given the number of ABSO-FRIGGIN'-LUTELY random things that have happened in Cleveland, I shouldn't be as embarrased as I am about admitting this, but...

You had me up until "the Emergency Bike shop."

LEMME ALONE! I'm sleep dep'd here!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 03:59 pm (UTC)
Anyone who got that far thining I meant this didn't see the original fiasco, which was my one big worry - but at least you realized something was going on!
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From: stevietee
2005-07-14 03:57 pm (UTC)

blame the victim

With paint that color and chains that long, your slutty bike was just asking for trouble!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 04:01 pm (UTC)

Re: blame the victim

No way, you bike hater! My bike should be able to hang out on the street in whatever color she wants.
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[User Picture]From: sageautumn
2005-07-14 03:58 pm (UTC)
I'm surprised you only got a total of $30.66, really.

That really surprises me.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 04:02 pm (UTC)
I was surprised I got anything. And horribly amused.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-07-14 04:03 pm (UTC)
No, of course not! I mean, my dad's dead so it can't be. So there!!
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