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Shocked disbelief for the friend of a friend - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Shocked disbelief for the friend of a friend [Oct. 11th, 2005|07:52 am]
[Current Mood |sadsad]

The phrase "died in childbirth" just isn't part of our vocabulary anymore. The little shadow that clouds joyous expectation is pretty much reserved for the baby. Babies still die now and then, or arrive less than perfect. But no one really worries about the fate of the mother.

I'm sorry for your loss, Lyss.

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[User Picture]From: heathrow
2005-10-11 11:58 am (UTC)
Oh my. I'm so sorry.
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[User Picture]From: wholuvsya
2005-10-11 12:02 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss
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[User Picture]From: kimmaline
2005-10-11 12:03 pm (UTC)
That is truly terrible. I am so sorry.
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[User Picture]From: zarhooie
2005-10-11 12:28 pm (UTC)
Love to your friend of a friend.
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[User Picture]From: kibbles
2005-10-11 12:38 pm (UTC)
That's heartbreaking. I'm sorry to hear that.
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[User Picture]From: lyssabard
2005-10-11 01:02 pm (UTC)

An incredible woman is gone.

It's funny, in it's own way--she taught medieval history, women's history, Scottish reformation stuff--and I know we discussed the subject over pints a time or two.

I am feeling for little Meg, who must be...5-6 now. Beth loved that little one more than anything, and now she is without a mother.

You'd think it was 200 years ago, or something. That this doesn't happen today, that having babies is "safe". It isn't.

Yeah...I'm in a bit of shock atm. But I appreciate having you near, and your understanding.

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-11 01:16 pm (UTC)

Re: An incredible woman is gone.

It mostly is. Like so many other things. Pneumonia mostly doesn't kill healthy people - except Jim Henson. Minor procedures are mostly safe - except the occasional freakish occurence. We are lulled by statistics, until we lose the safety lottery, then the whole world feels out of balance and dangerous.

Hugs, dear.
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[User Picture]From: nyxalinth
2005-10-11 01:04 pm (UTC)
I am as saddened to hear this as anyone, though I do not know them personally. How did it happen in this day and age, in the US? I know I must sound arrogant, but that sort of thing...aw, shit. I'm sorry.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-11 01:17 pm (UTC)
I don't know the details. I'm not sure my friend does, either. If I were to hazard a guess, it would be acute preeclampsia. A cascade of bad events can lead to disaster, even now.
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[User Picture]From: ladyoflight2004
2005-10-11 01:33 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry for your friend's loss. As you say, we just don't expect this sort of thing in this day and age. But pregnancy can be dangerous, it's just that we get lulled into thinking everything will be fine because we have such phenomenal backup from doctors and midwives. We don't get given figures for the third world, but I'd lay odds that the died-in-childbirth syndrome is pretty endemic there, we just don't hear about it and get complacent.
Once again, my deepest condolences to your friend's friend and the husband. Knowing she had such a hard time the first time around, wouldn't you think they would have warned her against a second pregancy?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-11 01:37 pm (UTC)
Even against medical advice, women often have second babies - and more. (Rose Kennedy's doctor told her not to have anymore after the first one and she had, what eleventy-hundred?) I had a tough first delivery, and was exhausted and had trouble recovering, but there was nothing indicative of serious future problems, so no one ever warned me against having another baby - which was much easier.
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[User Picture]From: unixwiz
2005-10-11 02:08 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear of her loss.
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[User Picture]From: gentleman_lech
2005-10-11 02:35 pm (UTC)
My condolences.
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2005-10-11 02:59 pm (UTC)
My condolences. Hard to equate childbirth with death. We have grown complacent.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-10-11 03:02 pm (UTC)
Mostly, that's a good thing.
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From: genericrick
2005-10-11 03:21 pm (UTC)
That IS really striking. How terrible...
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[User Picture]From: vespurrs
2005-10-11 03:36 pm (UTC)
I'm very sorry to hear about this. Being a mother myself, it's really not something the doctors even discuss anymore with prospective parents. I heard a lot about being concerned for the health of the baby, but never anything about the mother.
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[User Picture]From: batshua
2005-10-11 04:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, bugger!

That's horrible news.

Hugs and comfort to all those who need it.
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