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"..." [Dec. 12th, 2005|12:15 pm]
[Current Mood |naughtywordy]

Today is the first annual Talk Like Brian Michael Bendis Day. The day suffers some drawbacks from lack of familiarity, so in the interest of public education, I'm providing a small primer:

Why Brian Michael Bendis doesn't get crossover work

The Brian Micheal Bendis cooking show:

"Boil three quarts of water--"



"Exactly three?"

"Well, no. It's more of an estima--"

"Then why did you say 'three'?"


"You could've said 'about three.'"


"People would understand then."

"I didn't mean to start any--"

"That it wasn't exact."


"That it wasn't worth dirtying a measuring cup."

"But it's only water!"


"Water isn't dirty!"

"Some people."



"Anyway, add a teaspoon of salt."

"A teasp--"

"About a teaspoon, okay?!"

Brian Michael Bendis writes for ER



"Yes. Give me a scalpel!"

"Which one?"

"What'dya mean which one?"

"There are three different scalpels here--"

"A number 11."

"--and I don't know which one you want."

"Give me a freaking number 11!"

"That's the one with the curve, right?"

"Where did you train?!"

"In Louisiana."

At a real nursing school, right?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Because I dunno about you."

"We call them by their French names there."

"They have French names?"


"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, really."

"I never knew that."

"I wouldn't shit you about this."

[Loud alarm as patient flatlines....]

[User Picture]From: libco
2005-12-12 06:04 pm (UTC)
He could have totally done Buffy
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-12-12 06:10 pm (UTC)
LOL! You have a point!
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[User Picture]From: jfargo
2005-12-12 06:07 pm (UTC)
The cooking show had me laughing really hard. Thank you for your creativity. :)
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[User Picture]From: kalieris
2005-12-12 06:07 pm (UTC)
As much as I would *like* to talk like Brian Michael Bendis for a day, I don't think I could get my brain to cooperate. It was trying to chew its way out of my skull at "teaspoon."
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-12-12 06:11 pm (UTC)
I think trying it at work might result in being fired.
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[User Picture]From: kalieris
2005-12-12 06:12 pm (UTC)
*Sigh* Sorry if that came out in any way snarky - it was meant to come out in a way that clearly indicated that I was giggling, but my emotion-conveyance circuit is on the blink, and replacement parts appear to be arriving by iguana-train from Uzbekistan. Gah.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-12-12 06:13 pm (UTC)
Naw, I read it the right way - no worries.

Or, wait:

"You thought that sounded snarky? I didn't think it sounded snarky. I mean, it could have been snarky, but no. No, it wasn't."
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From: (Anonymous)
2005-12-12 06:30 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: greybeta
2005-12-12 07:52 pm (UTC)
My attempt pales in comparison.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2005-12-12 07:53 pm (UTC)
Too linear. You need to repeat yourself more often. [g]
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