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Oscars: the fashions - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Oscars: the fashions [Mar. 5th, 2006|07:10 pm]
[Current Mood |mellowtasteful]

Okay, I'm starting this entry, and will keep updating it throughout the "pre-game show."

Naomi Watts: Wow, could she look much worse? The dress is a frizzy mess, and so poorly fitting that she's tugging at the ass. The makeup is bad, too.

Helena Bonham-Carter: Pretty dress, for an afternoon luncheon. Not really dressy enough for the Oscars. She still looks pretty, though.

Michelle Williams: Looks like frills are in. A great color on her, the mustard. The dress is a bit fussy, but still works

Jada Pinkett Smith: Classy again in a strapless electric blue. She and Will always look good.

Sandra Bullock: Belle of the ball, but apparently a widow. Black taffeta. With pockets. Pockets? She's got her hands stuffed in her pockets. Oookay....

Jennifer Aniston: Elegant in black with a long train. Just classic. Interesting on the jewelry front. Last year it was all long chandelier earrings and no necklaces. This year it's more mixed.

Reese Witherspoon: Looks very pretty. The dress is a bit of a lacey thing, but works with her fresh-faced look.

Kiera Knightly: Juicy! Gorgeous vintage look in a rich garnet.

Amy Adams: Wow, who knew you could do so much with a brown paper bag?

Felicity Huffman: I don't even know what to say. She managed to make her hips look big and her boobs look insubstantial. Just weird.

Rachel Weisz: Beautiful in a lovely maternity gown. Elegant and nicely understated.

Nicole Kidman: Dress fabric from Wedding Closeouts. And she's scaaary.

Charlize Theron: She's got a dead parrot on her shoulder! Actually, it would be an improvement over the nasty bow. Ferrett says the fabric looks like cheap Halloween costume taffeta. Cat says it looks like she's wearing the Penguin skins. Ick!!!

Jennifer Lopez: Striking, different and not embarrassing. An interesting olive, with the train coming off the sides in a great way. A winner.

Darn. We had a brief power outage and then could not get the net connection back up, so now that it's over I can finish.

Selma Hayek: Wow. Gorgeous in electric blue, a great dress.

Uma Thurman: An Oscar first; she actually looked good. Elegant dress, beautiful makeup.

Jennifer Garner: A little too much dress - she tripped over it twice. Not bad looking, but poorly finished.

Maggie Gyllenhaal: Gravity is not your friend. Take about two inches out of the staps in your dress, because you appear to be losing it. And wearing olive in support of your brother would make sense if he'd been nominated for the military movie.

Queen Latifah: I want to hear HER do the Pimp song! She looked great - one of the few people who made the ruffles work.

Jessica Alba: So pretty. So incapable of dressing.

Hillary Swank: Gorgeous, but nondescript. A nice black dress - nothing nearly as remarkable as her high-in-front backless number from last year. Too bad.

Zyi Zhang: So prety. So incapable of dressing. She wears things that 6-year-olds would love to dress Barbie in.

What this year's Oscars might be most notable for is the lack of celebrities. It was a pretty thin year on the red carpet.

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[User Picture]From: zarhooie
2006-03-06 12:22 am (UTC)
A couple dresses have had pockets this year.
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[User Picture]From: peterchayward
2006-03-06 01:18 am (UTC)
Hoorah! Us Australians have no idea what's going on, so this is muchly useful.
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[User Picture]From: peterchayward
2006-03-06 01:37 am (UTC)
Have no way of seeing the Oscars would have been a better way of phrasing that, I suppose.
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[User Picture]From: dreagoddess
2006-03-06 01:23 am (UTC)
What on EARTH is Charlize Theron wearing on her shoulder?! It's bigger than her HEAD!
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[User Picture]From: christilyn
2006-03-06 01:41 am (UTC)
And Charlize Theron--could the bow GET any bigger?
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[User Picture]From: fictionalizedme
2006-03-06 02:15 am (UTC)
Rachel Weisz - beautiful
Reese Witherspoon - pretty style, but color does nothing for her
Carlize Theron, Naomi Watts - FIRE YOUR STYLISTS!
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[User Picture]From: firefred
2006-03-06 03:28 am (UTC)

Oscar fashions

I'm sorry - who cares? Aren't there plenty more important things to address than ridiculous Oscar fashions? Ok. I am old. I do not address any better issues either. But the Oscars, and the fashions, bleh, who gives a toss. Mind, this is not a personal attack.
It's just about all those people we are supposed to care about, and their dresses, which I could not care less about. The Oscars are a scam, the dresses are a scam, and all the people involved are plastic. All of this this does not mean shit, and it does not have any consequence whereas your personal life is concerned. It is just part of the media hype that makes me puke.
I am old. I can say those things. Fuck the Oscars.
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[User Picture]From: djeu
2006-03-06 04:26 am (UTC)

Re: Oscar fashions

Sometimes it's just nice to get caught up in the hype. A mini-vacation, I suppose. Sure, it's fake and inconsequential, but that's where the fun is.
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[User Picture]From: kid_lit_fan
2006-03-06 03:55 am (UTC)
I love the shape of Jennifer Lopez' dress, and I don't mind the color in and of itself. However, I think it makes her skin look muddy. She's so lovely, and she just glows in whites and in vivid colors, but this olive and the yellowed grays she often wears make her look dull.

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[User Picture]From: kathrynrose
2006-03-06 05:14 am (UTC)
I thought Jessica's dress was lovely.

I think this year stands out for having a serious lack of wtf outfits. Except for that bow.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-03-06 05:18 am (UTC)
She deserves more color. I thought the dress was bland.

Naomi Watts was massively wtf.
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[User Picture]From: rhapsody_98
2006-03-06 11:38 am (UTC)
I think Keira was the belle. And why was Sandra Bullock out with Keanu? Where is her new husband?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-03-06 12:25 pm (UTC)
Apparently Sandra and Keanu are making a new movie together, so their being together was "product placement."

Keanu looking like he'd been drinking since 6am was not particularly helpful.
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2006-03-06 11:47 am (UTC)
I have little interest in the Oscars, but I love to laugh at all the plastic Barbie dolls trying to outdo each other on the daring fashions. (OH, I can show more boobies than YOU!). Thanks for a great post.

BTW, just watched tons of Black Adder this weekend, courtesy of Netflix, and I LOVE your icon!!
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2006-03-06 12:14 pm (UTC)
Just checked out the pics on Yahoo. Naomi Watts (and some others) need to look at the mirror again. People with blond hair and fair skin can fade into the wallpaper when they wear beige!
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[User Picture]From: gieves
2006-03-06 02:34 pm (UTC)
While a number of the actresses were stunning - Uma was a pleasant surprise, Rachel Weisz was gorgeous, and I actually did like Reese's whole look - I still think that Selma won. Every one of us was drooling!
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-03-06 02:37 pm (UTC)
Selma was fabulous. Keira Knightley's dress was beautiful, too, but Selma's curves were just amazing.
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[User Picture]From: pleepleus
2006-03-06 03:29 pm (UTC)
Naomi Watts - Why and try to be the same color from head to toe? Color is good people!

Michelle Williams - I liked the cut of the dress, but wasn't thrilled with the Ronald McDonald yellow. She and Heath were adorable together!

Felicity Huffman - I actually thought she looked good. The dress was bottom heavy, but I thought she pulled it off well.

Nicole Kidman - She and Naomi are best friends. I wonder if they use the same (bad) stylist?

Charlize Theron- Actually I think it's a bat, not a parrot. ;p

Jennifer Lopez, great dress, but another one who needs to step away from the self tanners.

I missed the rest of them.
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From: odclay
2006-03-06 03:32 pm (UTC)
Um, apologies for Firefred. I read your journal, and he's a friend of mine, so that's probably how he stumbled on your post.

Charlize Theron did have one thing going for her: The Oscars seemed rather dull this year, so at least she had something soft to rest her head on if she got tired. Portable pillow.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2006-03-06 03:39 pm (UTC)
Hey, there's a thought! She was planning ahead.

No worries on Freddy. You aren't responsible for the behavior of others. And he's gonna have more responses than average in his email!
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[User Picture]From: unamundamour
2006-03-06 05:22 pm (UTC)
You are reading my mind! I was flipping between the pre-shows and it was just. so. disappointing! George Clooney used the same "I hate Ang Lee" joke with everyone! (But his acceptance speech was brilliant - funny and very a propos - and he gave fabulous face every time the cameras found him.)

When we saw the head-eating bow on Charlize Theron's shoulder, my husband and I decided that a parrot had died there and she picked the dress to cover it up.

And a note to Felicity Huffman (who is usually so smoky!) - bony cleavage is never attractive.
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[User Picture]From: bfirrera
2006-03-06 06:51 pm (UTC)
I didn't watch the pre-show, just the awards themselves, but:

I have to agree with you wholeheartedly regarding Naomi Watts. I thought it looked like she took all the doilies off of her grandmother's end tables and bunched them all at the top of her dress. Ugly dress. It's a shame, 'cause she can be a really classic beauty in just jeans in her movies.

I loved the rocks around Jennifer Aniston's neck.

I thought that Salma Hayek was gorgeous.

I liked Reese's gown the most.


The thing I noticed the most 'cause while this wasn't the first time we had it on the Big Penis tv downstairs, but the first time I'd set for it in HD (not bothering to worry about porting it upstairs to the connected standard TiVo): the actresses were all way too shiny. It wasn't a problem that the men had, except for perhaps Tom Hanks.

Big offenders in the overly shiny or bad tans: Charlize Theron, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Garner and Jessica Alba.

I also thought the color of Jennifer Lopez's dress was nice, but she should cover her manly shoulders next time.
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