|The evidence is in!
||[Apr. 16th, 2003|11:04 pm]
Sorry, I was just too amused not to share this gem from Cleveland Non-Violence. Finally, that smoking gun we all KNEW had to be out there.. *snert*
Finally. The Osama Bin Laden/Saddam Hussein link exposed!
Powell Offers Proof of Saddam-Osama Link March 27, 2003
By Gil Christner
UNITED NATIONS - Secretary of State Colin Powell today offered
incontrovertible proof of the long-sought-after link between Saddam
Hussein's Regime and the al Qaeda Terrorist Network.
In a speech before the General Assembly, General Powell was able to
show, through a series of "degrees of separation," how Hussein was
merely 6 people away from Osama bin Laden, leader of al Qaeda. Using
charts, graphs, and all AV equipment available to the U.N., Powell
presented his case to the General Assembly and the entire world, which
was watching via television cameras.
Never rambling or tentative, a confident Sec. Powell spoke with a voice
of authority, outlining the solid connection between the leader of Iraq
and the group of terrorists deemed "the most dangerous people to
Humanity" by Fox News Network. The series of charts and graphs were
presented in 14 different languages, including Farsi, Aramaic and
German. French was inexplicably left out of the languages used.
In sum, here are Gen. Powell's arguments:
1. In December of 2002, actor Sean Penn went to Baghdad, home of Saddam
2. Sean Penn is married to actress Robin Wright.
3. Robin Wright and Penn made the movie "Forrest Gump" with Tom Hanks.
4. Tom Hanks made the film "Apollo 13" with Kevin Bacon.
5. Kevin Bacon made a Visa card commercial with Indian-born character
actor Sahid Benjali.
6. Sahid Benjali used to bartend at the Lingerie Club in Hollywood. In
the early 80's he served drinks to Carmen bin Laden, a former USC
student, who is Osama's sister-in-law.
After Gen. Powell's presentation, there were several heated
discussions, with many of the delegates making angry responses, some of
which were not too flattering to the case being made.
"Six degrees? Fah!" said Ahmad Abu l Gheit, the delegate from Egypt.
"I can get from Saddam to Osama in 5 people! Including Madonna!"
"Six people? I can do it in four," retorted Elinor Hammarskjold, the
Swedish delegate. "And I don't need to use Kevin Bacon! Just give me
the Farrelly Brothers and a pool boy in Bel-Air!" Whereupon the entire
floor of the U.N. erupted into arguments.
Eventually the winner emerged: Tanzania delegate Mark J. Mwando was
able to get from Saddam to Osama in 2 steps:
1. In 1983, Saddam Hussein met with then U.S. Envoy Donald Rumsfeld,
working on behalf of the Ronald Reagan-George Bush Sr. administration,
to arm Iraq against Iran.
2. George Bush Sr. was formerly the head of the CIA, the organization
which armed Osama bin Laden and provided training to his followers in
For coming up with the winning entry, Delegate Mwando was treated to a
party platter from the Carnegie Deli on 7th Ave. "This is wonderful,"
Mwando said as he munched on a dill pickle.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld could not be reached for comment.