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A point of clarification [Jun. 6th, 2009|12:31 pm]
The shit-flipping that I did last night? That was completely *my* shit-flipping. It was what upset *me*. Ferrett's reasons for deleting his journal were not my reasons for flipping out.

Here are his reasons, from him:

I really didn't want to do this, but I'm making one brief announcement here.

I'm not upset by people who stay on the attack. In the incident in
question, which I really would have preferred not to be blown up into
something bigger than it was, the issue was not the folks who were angry
enough to shut down dialogues. (And they weren't particularly bad, either,
mostly civil.)

I was upset by the people I cared about who were hurt.

The issue is that I'm tired of making posts that say the exact opposite of
what I feel. I'm tired of hurting people who don't deserve it. I'm tired
of saying things which, due to poor wording or misguided humor or whatever
other numerous flaws I have, manage to keep kicking good, wonderful people
in the heart.

Over the past sixteen months, I've been dealing with the increasing feeling
that my journal is just a place that serves to make me look like a fool,
foster opinions I don't stand behind, and injure people. I'm starting to
hurt every time I hit the "post" button, wondering what asshole thing I'll
missay this time. And just when I think I'm okay, I screw up again.

My goal is, and has always been, to promote harmony, peace, love,
acceptance, and tolerance. I just wish I could do better at that. And I'm
sorry that I don't.

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[User Picture]From: candiedheart
2009-06-06 05:55 pm (UTC)
Ooh, Ferrett, I personally have learned tolerance better from you than anyone. And acceptance.

I will miss you and your journal more than anything else in this world. But you have to do what makes you happy and comfortable, and if deleting your LJ makes you feel inner peace, than that's what had to happen.

I guess I have you on twitter <3
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[User Picture]From: wolflady26
2009-06-06 06:02 pm (UTC)
I keep writing angry responses and deleting them again in an attempt not to make things worse. It's hard not to be a flying monkey. People suck.

Edited at 2009-06-06 06:03 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-06 06:44 pm (UTC)
Mwa-hahahaha!!! The flying monkeys!!!

But thank you. I intentionally did not mention names because flying monkeys is a crappy thing to do to anyone.
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[User Picture]From: canuckgirl
2009-06-06 06:03 pm (UTC)
I sure hope he comes back. I thought he made a lot of sense and I liked the glimpses into his life - through computer games, movies and books and just everything. He sounded like half of a wonderful couple. I'll miss his posts.
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[User Picture]From: hippie_mamabear
2009-06-06 06:03 pm (UTC)
Well by all means, if LJ doesn't feel like a good thing, he should give it up. But he will be missed (and i won't stop hoping that he makes a comeback anyway--i can't help but be selfish and want to read what he has to say)!
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[User Picture]From: trianakvetch
2009-06-06 06:08 pm (UTC)
My goal is, and has always been, to promote harmony, peace, love,acceptance, and tolerance.

As a personal experience, his posts often promoted an in depth questioning as to why I reacted certain ways or how I truly thought/felt about something. I didn't agree sometimes, but I still read his journal with avid curiosity and wonder. Peeking into someones insights who had a gift for the written word was one of life's pleasures.

That said, Ferrett is not a writer to satisfy my whims..he's a real person with all that comes with that and wish him the best in life and the future.
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[User Picture]From: kibbles
2009-06-06 06:12 pm (UTC)
Yes, I tried to keep the two seperate, and HONESTLY was trying to talk in generalizations. About how people react, and write.

And my post was about a number of things, including RL and online, but off LJ incidents.

I sent a note to him on FB, with the request that he shares it with you (since I don't even know if you are on) which was more personal and addresses the, well, personal stuff.

And no, other readers, I'm not HIDING stuff, just being polite/discreet, I think, but anyone who wants to read more about how I think about STUFF, is welcome to add me. Heh.

I personally have no issue with him, with you, with the person who wounded me last night and that I apologized to because he was hurt that I was hurt, but am personally addressing the big picture.

And in my case, since the issue that touches ME involves someone I love who literally is unable to speak, I find myself speaking more, you know?
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-06 06:48 pm (UTC)
Yours is often a strident voice with which I disagree, but you do stay on topic and keep it honest. Sometimes angry, but honest.

There were a number of things that came together all at once that set me off. Sounds like you've had similar situations.
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[User Picture]From: ba1126
2009-06-06 06:17 pm (UTC)
Everyone has said it better than I, but I add my comment to say that Ferrett is one of the chief reasons I got an LJ account of my own. I used to read him on my daughter's LJ and then got my own so I could read and comment on his always interesting posts.

I will miss him and hope that at some point he may return.

Best Wishes.
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[User Picture]From: kythsharrie
2009-06-06 06:27 pm (UTC)
I shall be sad to see Ferrett's journal go. I loved his insight and his thinking. But if this is what's best for him, then I shall respect that.

My best wishes and prayers go to both of you.
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[User Picture]From: usmu
2009-06-06 06:31 pm (UTC)
Everybody will hurt people they don't want to hurt. It's part of this incredible heap of crap we call life. It's what you do about it that's makes you a good or bad person. For as far as I can see you've always done the right thing.

Nobody's perfect. The only way you look a fool is if you claim to be and fail. Otherwise, you're a human being learning. Nothing foolish in that.

I feel you're doing the wrong thing for the right reason. Still makes it the wrong thing though. But in the end it's up to you. Just know you're going to be missed.
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[User Picture]From: jeffpalmatier
2009-06-06 09:06 pm (UTC)
Everybody will hurt people they don't want to hurt. It's part of this incredible heap of crap we call life. It's what you do about it that's makes you a good or bad person. For as far as I can see you've always done the right thing.

Nobody's perfect. The only way you look a fool is if you claim to be and fail. Otherwise, you're a human being learning. Nothing foolish in that.

Yes, amen. I'm pretty tired at the moment and I was glad to find somebody who summed up exactly what I was thinking what I read Ferrett's new message. I think it's a mistake to retreat into silence. I hate it when I accidentally hurt somebody's feelings too, but that's just life.

I encountered the Ferrett's blog via Poppy Z Brite (docbrite) who mentioned and linked to him. I met a lot of people who would become my friends via Ferrett's blog. So the Ferrett has been nothing but positive for me. After reading his blog for four to five years, one thing I'm convinced of is that Ferrett is a kind-hearted person who wouldn't intentionally hurt anybody else for the world. Even if he stopped blogging, people would encounter other stuff that would hurt them. I'm noto saying this doesn't make me feel bad, but that's just life. The sky is blue, water is in the ocean, trees are made out of wood, and people will get hurt when you don't intend to. However, the even bigger picture is that the Ferrett's blog has given people way much more joy than it's upset them.
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[User Picture]From: roadnotes
2009-06-06 06:46 pm (UTC)
Ah, damn. I know the feeling, and have watched friends wrestle with the same sort of situation, even recently. Both of you, do what's good for you, and go with grace. Ferrett, I've not agreed with everything you've written, as you know, but I've enjoyed your writing, and look forward to tracking down your published fiction.
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[User Picture]From: mamaursula
2009-06-06 06:55 pm (UTC)
Whoa, I totally missed something. I hope whatever is going on works out for you Ginny for the better of you and yours. I'm sorry things aren't comfortable right now, hon. I'll be here if you need anything.
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From: humbugami
2009-06-06 07:03 pm (UTC)
It's not FAIR. He may stop broadcasting for all he wants, but he has no right to take away all the entries of him on my friends page. My dad can disown me, but he cant take back all the books and letters he sent to me in the past.

It's not just a blog, it's a presence. It's like waking up and seeing the twin towers down, and realizing that the skylines will never be the same anymore.

I MISS him. I did not see the argument, but I respect his choice to die. But damn. I keep staring at my friends page and thinking, there used to be a post by him here and now it's just a hole in my memory.

If his soul has departured in search of a better world to reincarnate, can we at least keep his body in a nice glass coffin in this world? Or have him back after three days and give some parting comments?
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[User Picture]From: suburbfabulous
2009-06-06 07:04 pm (UTC)
Longtime listener, big fan of the show...
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[User Picture]From: firerose10
2009-06-06 08:36 pm (UTC)
Don't ask - but it was a shitstorm of incredible proportions. Ferrett put up a (to me) humorous post that offended some people. The ones with the biggest right to be offended seemed to accept him pulling it and apologizing, while others just kept stirring up trouble and making him feel worse. Combine it with the yearly SAD issues and I think it got to be too much for him.

The crappiest part? He deleted the account entirely, causing those of us who loved him/his writing to lose our access to it.

Gini - this is directed to Ferrett, so please pass it on for me....
While I don't know you IRL, I've always considered you a good friend. Someone I would LOVE to get to know IRL and be able to spend time with. Hell, just based on your writings, I've actually added "Proximity to Gini and Ferrett" to my list of qualifications for our next move... I can understand why you cut and run from LJ, but don't make it permanent. If it means your account goes down to comments on your writing, or Magic, or your relationship with Gini, so be it, but I LOVE the insights into the mind of a good friend you give me, as well as the topics of consideration you've been writing about. I don't always agree, and have seen a few where I would have said the same things, but in a different manner, but it ALWAYS brought me something - whether it was happiness when things went well (your woodworking), empathy for your heartaches (your writing), or just something to think about and talk over with my husband, but i ALWAYS got something out of it. Unlike other pretty prolific posters on my F-list, I never looked at your posts as tiresome or too many/much. I might skip them for the moment, but I would go back and read it when I had the time to devote to the essay. I've used your style and advice this semester in school for the essays I've had to write for one of my classes. For now - take the time you need to heal, but once the SAD has finally relaxed it's grip on your psyche, please consider re-creating your account, so we can have our written memories of a good friend, at least. You will be missed in cyberspace. i just hope I can find a way to meet two very special people who are near and dear to my heart....
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[User Picture]From: mystic_savage
2009-06-06 07:19 pm (UTC)
In the name of harmony, peace, love, acceptance, etc. please give the ferrett a great big hug from me. I've adored his writing and think he does a lot more toward promoting those goals than he's giving himself credit for. A big hug and lots of admiration to you, too. It's good to know your shit. :)
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[User Picture]From: naath
2009-06-06 07:25 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry that Ferrett feels that way.

Personally I felt that even when he wrote things that I really disagreed with or was hurt by he expressed himself well, and acknowledged and grew from the comments that followed. He clearly never meant to hurt his readership, which is so very important. The world will be poorer without his thoughts, but of course it is his choice to stop sharing them.
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