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A point of clarification - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness Page 5 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Zoethe

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A point of clarification [Jun. 6th, 2009|12:31 pm]
Zoethe
The shit-flipping that I did last night? That was completely *my* shit-flipping. It was what upset *me*. Ferrett's reasons for deleting his journal were not my reasons for flipping out.

Here are his reasons, from him:

I really didn't want to do this, but I'm making one brief announcement here.

I'm not upset by people who stay on the attack. In the incident in
question, which I really would have preferred not to be blown up into
something bigger than it was, the issue was not the folks who were angry
enough to shut down dialogues. (And they weren't particularly bad, either,
mostly civil.)

I was upset by the people I cared about who were hurt.

The issue is that I'm tired of making posts that say the exact opposite of
what I feel. I'm tired of hurting people who don't deserve it. I'm tired
of saying things which, due to poor wording or misguided humor or whatever
other numerous flaws I have, manage to keep kicking good, wonderful people
in the heart.

Over the past sixteen months, I've been dealing with the increasing feeling
that my journal is just a place that serves to make me look like a fool,
foster opinions I don't stand behind, and injure people. I'm starting to
hurt every time I hit the "post" button, wondering what asshole thing I'll
missay this time. And just when I think I'm okay, I screw up again.

My goal is, and has always been, to promote harmony, peace, love,
acceptance, and tolerance. I just wish I could do better at that. And I'm
sorry that I don't.
LinkReply

Comments:
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[User Picture]From: ladyhawke_wings
2009-06-09 02:55 am (UTC)
I've been offline for a bit and missed all the upheaval, but I'm terribly sorry you're both going through such a rough time. Hugs, love and lots of peace to both of you. You can find me at the usual google mail place if you want to talk offline, hon.

*hugs*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-09 03:30 am (UTC)
Things have calmed down considerably, thanks. We have other crises in life to worry about now!
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[User Picture]From: smallekins
2009-06-09 08:25 pm (UTC)
Love to you both, and as much hugs as your bandwith will allow.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zoethe
2009-06-09 09:04 pm (UTC)
Yay! We have lots of bandwidth.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: smallekins
2009-06-10 03:33 pm (UTC)
Excellent! My favorite hugs are the long and lingering kind that evolve into cuddle-snuggles. These take much bandwidth but are certainly worth it. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ithildae
2009-06-10 06:31 am (UTC)
I empathize. I started a journal to practice writing more clearly and succinctly. As I gathered friends, LJ became more of a place to have a conversation, in direct conflict with my original intention. I am wondering what I want to do with a journal moving forward. What a strange world, everything you communicate must be perfectly stated, or someone will be hurt, either now, or at a future moment. Is there room for me to be human? I certainly allow you, and all others, that room. Peace.
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