Yeah, almost any trip to Disney includes one really nasty row, I'm afraid. Everybody gets tired and overstimulated, and something blows up. You handled it well. Last time I went, a friend and I wound up fighting from the time we got up until lunch on our second day.
Neither of us has any fondness for fighting and I think that helps. Our biggest concern is always the happiness of the other.
It's very true. It's overstimulating and so crowded. My husband and I had one on our last day of Disney (the 5th day). I ended up having to take our two small children on a train ride around the Magic Kingdom to give us each some space to cool off. The kids and I got to see some different views of the park, he got to relax and sit for a bit, and everyone was much better off!
Fortunately we didn't need that much space. But taking a day off to rest and have massages before a park evening has been a Very Good Thing today.
We rarely fight like that, but it was the navigational challenge of keeping two small kids (4 and 6) happy, fed, and alive while trying to keep ourselves in that same realm. ;)
I'm glad you two are well. How were the massages?
The massages were AMAZING. And then I had a wonderful nap, and now we are heading for the Hoopdeedo Review. Then late night Magic Kingdom.
This is excellent advice. When I used to train customer service reps one of the things I taught them was that it's important to apologize, it short circuits conflict and makes the other party more receptive to resolving things.
Inevitability, someone would always ask me, "How can I apologize if the customer is wrong?" And my response was that they if they have nothing else, they can apologize for someone's inconvenience or a miscommunication.
Nice to see that my advice wasn't so bad.
It's tough when you know you weren't really wrong, just misunderstood. It's easy to get self-righteous.
It's just not very productive.
I spent a year as a customer service rep and I think my mantra was "I'm sorry for the inconvenience and I understand that you're frustrated."
I couldn't agree more.
Sometimes you have to back down to allow fresh air to enter the scene, then you can come back and really talk.
Your post is a great example of talk and compromise.
It's not always easy, but it does make life much happier.
When Maria and I went to Disney for the first time we did almost exactly the same thing, but two days in a row. We decided that the best thing to do was around noon to head back to our room, take a dip in the pool, maybe take a nap and just relax for an hour or two.
Once we started doing that our days got infinitely better. We just needed to get out of the heat and we'd become civil again. If we started snapping at each other our apology was very often "Sorry, it might be past our nap time." It always was.
Our day started so late that heading back would not have made sense. Today we are enjoying the hotel before dinner and evening in the park.
:) I love these life lessons that demonstrate how well communication works.
I think it's good to recognize that everyone has their moments and people really are doing their best most of the time.
2010-07-27 06:17 pm (UTC)
And sometimes it's really just that you both need to eat. BTDT.
Also, great typo that the Disney meal plan is "in mice."
Hey, I think people should be impressed that I'm writing these longer entries with only my iPhone! ;-)
2010-07-27 07:08 pm (UTC)
I didn't want to jinx anything, but now that you mention it I am quite impressed at how long-form you are writing on portable equipment.
2010-07-27 09:34 pm (UTC)
Just don't sprain your thumbs while you're paying so much attention to your feet. :-)
I didn't even get out the phone during Hoopdeedo. Four sangrias and a long island later, I'm kind of ... happy.
It's how functional married couples --- or any sort of partner really --- work. Mr. Shapeshifter and I have an argument agreement. We each step away and relax for a designated period. After that, we come back to talk. Sometimes we need to do this several times before the talk part happens, but so be it. It makes outings so much more pleasurable to be able to do that instead of both sulking through it.
It's how things should work. They don't always. I've seen couples where winning was more important than resolving the issue.
We're both ridiculously concerned with winning. It's just that we tally scores as a team.
Good point. Damn, I love you.