you are taking the first step. A journey always begins with a first step.
I have been where you are. I won't say I know how you feel, because no one knows exactly how another feels. But I know it's awful and I know what you're doing takes GUTS. Go, you.
Of course you are scared. But you know somewhere I read that a truly brave person isn't someone who isn't afraid. It's someone who is afraid, but does it anyway.
You're brave. I applaud you and admire you.
Thank you, it's deeply appreciated!
You can do it! We believe in you. :D :D
I know these feelings all too well. Your doctor can definitely help you, so it is VERY worth it to go. I was in your same position about a year ago, and my doctor gave me both advice and medication and, while I'm not always peppy, I do feel quite a bit better now.
Just a slightly differently perspective:
There are medical support for many of these things. That all having been said, if a doctor tells you to just stop whining and suck it up, or keeps telling you to do things that just aren't working, or tells you everyone feels like this, and that's just how it is... don't beat yourself up, don't give up, don't despair... just fire the doctor and find someone else.
I think it's pretty likely you won't have to take that measure, but it's important to know that if your first consult doesn't work, that doesn't mean you are out of options. (Eleven years ago I was told my prognosis was "you need to accept that you're never going to be able to live an active life again". Ha! I mean, yeah, my spine issues are an ongoing process of negotiation, but you can't say I'm not active.)
Oh, yeah, and if you have any interest, I do teach Taiji, which is a pretty darned fine way of re-making friends with your body and getting more active. I'll be starting another beginning class after we move... though recently a few folks apparently decided that they didn't want to wait and jumped into an ongoing class, so it's a mixed group there. (And it's free.)
I'm proud that you're taking the steps to go to the doctor. I know it's really hard, and really awesome that you're doing it.
Knowing is half the battle... and being willing to do something to change this path. My day calendar has this message today: "If I truly want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control - myself.".
Hope the physician can help you get back on the right path of who, what and where you want to be. I got fed up with my weight last year and the time was right for me to find something new. I found a crossfit gym and started eating differently - following more of the Paleo Diet. In many different types of diets, the common denominators seem to be eating more lean protein and lots of veggies. Fruit, too... but lots of veggies.
Paleo in particular talks about getting back to what our ancestors evolved to eat over the last several million years... hunter/gatherer lifestyle. Getting rid of most/all gluten, legumes, dairy and sugar (including artificial sweeteners). Side effects of this happen to be that by eating this way you eliminate a lot of food allergies. After trying this for say a month, you might start adding in a certain food or type of food and then seeing how you feel after eating it.
Keeping a food log was mentioned above and REALLY helped me to see the effects of certain foods after not having them for a while. Staying hydrated (recommended to drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water/day) and getting sufficient sleep also help a lot (am doing a challenge through my gym at the moment that includes getting a certain amount of sleep/night and the last couple nights of warmer weather with the windows open to prevent using AC resulting in less sleep have been instrumental in reminding me that yes, sleep is critical and makes a difference on state of mind, health, and well being, too.)
Anyway... as others have said, if you have questions or want to bounce ideas off me, I'm available. I like you. I have never met you, so I'm not sure what you've given, other than sharing your thoughts on a wide variety of topics and admitting to being human with a lot of stellar qualities and some areas where you'd like to do better, just like a lot of other people here on LJ and elsewhere.
Change is scary, but necessary. Some quote I read that I can't remember who said goes something like - What a caterpillar considers the end of the world, the master considers a butterfly.
[hugs] Thank you for having the courage to post this and go to the doctor to take the next step toward getting or finding the help you need.
Paleo is interesting to me, except for no bread, and I've just gotten really good at making it!
You have friends in person and online who love you and want the best for you. I'm happy for you that you're reaching out. *hugs*
Sending you so much love and support. I like you for you, warts and all. We all have them, you know. ;)
I know how hard all of that can be (though not how hard it is for you individually, no one else can know that.) Just. Sending you support and love and good thoughts and hoping something works.
I recognize that depression; the one where your brain feels like it's covered in cobwebs. Once upon a time, a long time ago, I spent over a year just sitting in a rocking chair with a bowl of fudge. If the house had caught on fire, I don't think I would have reacted more than to observe "interesting." It took a combination of the right shrink and the right medication to get me on my feet again. Please search until you find that combination for yourself because it can be done. I can't begin to tell you how much I have loved life in the years since those cobwebs went away.
I haven't gotten quite to the rocking chair phase, but it's been close. Thanks for the support, I can really use it.
2011-05-24 03:46 pm (UTC)
*love* I hope you find some relief soon. I wish I could offer something more substantial than internet support. But I'm here with all the e-love you could want, baby! *hugs*
Thank you for what you can give, dear.
2011-05-25 01:30 am (UTC)
Re: You are awesome, and brave, and beautiful
Thank you so very much. I really appreciate the love.
2011-05-24 04:08 pm (UTC)
You really are awesome, and it's good that you're doing this.
See DW: I can sympathize, greatly.
I relate to this all too well and I'm glad you're taking these steps to help yourself.
Let us know what you find out - BTDT.
:: hugs ::
Believe me, I get this. Very much.
Good luck with the process, and I'm glad you're doing this.