Wow. Apparently I do live under a rock. I hope the rock will serve as a good defense against zombies but doubt it.
And I will openly admit, always, to being just like that as a teenager. It was more rants to other kids in person than Facebook, but it's the same idea.
They also need to have grade school classes that teach about privacy and password security but that is only a mildly related rant.
It's hard to make kids understand the danger of social media's long-term effects. It's all very new, and we have to keep learning.
The number of people who are applauding this guy just horrifies me.
Which is probably where his daughter learned it in the first place.
The whole thing is icky. I'd bitch about this dad on FB too.
Even if she didn't, the reaction is like hunting fleas with a hand grenade.
While I found it amusing at first, the more I think about it, and the more I read about it, the more I see your point. Over-reaction on the part of a parent is detrimental to the relationship with the child. There are times when I'm angry enough to do something over the top like that, but I am far more controlled, and I'm glad to say so. I still say things I wish I could take back once in a while, but I don't allow my child to feel unsafe with me. And if my dad had used his gun to shoot my computer? I'd really feel unsafe with him. And that lack of security with a parent is not something you can get back right away - if ever.
The showboating, and the need to justify himself, just really got to me.
What you said about having a dramatic parent hit home for me - my mother was (is) all about the drama, but she kind of oscillated between being actually abusive and kind of pathetically ineffectual. (Like once she decided that my sister shouldn't be watching TV. So instead of asking her to turn it off, she threw a fit, then grabbed the scissors and cut the power cord. To her own TV. Except then it turned out that it wasn't even the right power cord, and she'd just destroyed the cord to her VCR.)
I suspect being so ineffectual some of the time just made her want to be more controlling.
I think you are right. It's frustrating how hard it is to parent these days, no doubt. But this is way out of line.
Wow, this is the first I've seen that.
If I didn't know how the video ended, in the beginning at least, I thought, "OK, this is reasonable. He's mad and reading her letter and scolding her in public.
He gave her the whole, "I walked up hill to school in the snow both ways speech", typical parent stuff.
The moment he pulled out the gun he lost me completely. It's one thing expressing anger and disappointment, it's one thing to administer discipline. I'll even say that if you're child is under age a parent has to exert a certain amount o control (be it curfews, house rules, etc).
that wasn't parenting, I wouldn't even call it anger. That was intimidation, instilling fear and violence. It was as much of an show of power and dominance as if he had burned her clothes or taken her bedroom door off of its hinges.
Just wow. How inappropriate.
Like you, I started out thinking he was being a bit outrageous but sensible. It was well before the gun that I had flags flying in my head. It feel for her, because she is not going to have an easy life.
I'm glad it wasn't just me.
Definitely not just you. But the number of people who are all, "yeah, go for it!" is terrifying. Where are the adults???
I thought it was a mistake, too.
He wasn't looking to changing his daughter's behavior or attitude, he was angry and was reacting to his mortification, not the fact his daughter needs calm guidance.
At that moment was a pissing contest and he was determined to win.
Well, he won this battle but if he keeps on like that, he'll lose the war.
If I had been in his place, I would have sat down with my daughter and my spouse, shown her the letter I was able to access and asked her what she thought was fair. We'd discuss this and her role in the family.
2012-02-11 02:43 am (UTC)
Re: I agree
A much better and more measured a response.
Your post is making me very glad I hadn't watched it yet. Growing up in an outright abusive household with a parent who reacted like that (she couldn't find her lingerie bag once. She was convinced I had it, and made me tear apart my room while she watched and screamed at me. Six months later I found out through my cousin that it had turned up at my aunt's house, where she sometimes did our laundry so she wouldn't have to pay for the quarter machines in our apartment complex. She never apologized, of course.)
I couldn't have gotten through that video. Just your description of it is making me uncomfortable.
Ferrett was playing it in the living room while I was doing dishes. I don't know that I could have made it through if I had been sitting and watching it. It's horrifying to me.
I don't even want to watch that video. My eldest and I are at odds, to the point that I called the child crisis team today and they sent someone out. We should have therapist from family crisis stabilization services here to work with us within a week.
Good luck. We had difficult times with our eldest. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you so much for posting this. I had to stop the video around when he was saying that she'd have to pay him back for the super-expensive bullets, and thought it was just me. This is literally the only place on the internet I've found where people aren't congratulating him for "parenting done right" and saying she deserved it. It makes my skin crawl almost worse than the video itself.
That disturbed the heck out of me--that people think this is an appropriate response. Yes, a response was needed, but wow, this is NOT the right one.
Good point. I agree with you. Although I do think that maybe the Dad should have taken the computer away he brought himself down to her level by shooting the laptop.
... That's not "down to her level". Destruction of property and deliberate attempts to intimidate with a weapon, public humiliation by reading something she meant to be semi-private (she tried to lock it down) in public on the Internet -- these are not on the same level with some bad language and teenage bitching. Daughter definitely has the high ground.
Edited at 2012-02-11 04:08 am (UTC)
I could understand his anger about her post, and was with him on scolding her in a public manner. But shooting the laptop was way too far. Not only is it bullying and fear-inducing, it is stupidly wasteful. He just spent 10 minutes complaining about how much work he'd done on that computer and how much money he'd spent on it, and his next "logical" step is to shoot it? Stupid. Very, very stupid.