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Oh, the injustice of it all! - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Oh, the injustice of it all! [Jul. 4th, 2003|08:25 am]
[Current Mood |lazylazy]

When theferrett and I began our current living/working situation there was a pact between us. I would work fulltime while he struggled to establish himself in his freelance writing career, and he would take care of the house and cook. It worked out pretty well for a while.

Then Star City Games became a fulltime job. And the freelancing picked up. And he had considerably less time on his hands.

Yesterday he left for a trip home to see his family. When I arrived home, I was outraged to find that in the midst of trying to get out the door he hadn't bothered to clean house. The inhumanity!

And then I shook that off. Because the reality is he is working long, long hours. And my arms aren't broken (well, not anymore), I am perfectly capable of pitching in.

But you see, I hate housework. I love a clean house, but I don't want to be involved in the actual cleaning. It's icky, and takes up too much of my precious time.

I am most amused, though, because there is this attitude that develops when you've mentally delegated a task. If you have to go back and pick it up, it seems five times as outrageous than when you expected to do it every day. So I am pouting all out of proportion to the task at hand. Because, you see, it's not my job anymore. Because I say so. So there.

I am very silly. And now I am off to clean house.

[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-04 08:04 am (UTC)
Get over y'self, ya big baby. *hugs*

I still clean about 70% of the time, but that's gonna drop further when I have no weekend time and must catch up on all my work during the day. Be warned!

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 08:12 am (UTC)
That's what the whole damned post was about!

I know. This is going to be a crisis when school starts again.
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-04 08:21 am (UTC)
Shouldn't be. My weekends will be less busy (I HOPE), and we will have a teenager who will do the work for us. Slave labor rules!!!!

And why aren't you on AIM? Boo.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 06:49 pm (UTC)


You must not have seen my most recent journal entry.

And I was at T3.

Maybe you'll reappear later.
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-05 12:51 pm (UTC)
Atchly, I wrote that at 10:30 in the morning and you WERE on five seconds later. However, by the time you SAW my entry, it was at 6:30 in the afternoon.

Silly girl. I'd only bitch about you being on AIM if I knew you were on the internet and posting, but didn't have it turned on...

The Ferrett
- Who finds Trillian to be far too enticing
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[User Picture]From: gothiksukkubus
2003-07-04 08:09 am (UTC)
Hey, be glad he at least DOES housework! Until recently, Erik didn't even have a job for over a year and a half and it was myself and the kids who did the bulk of the housework while he sat on his ass and played video games that mommy bought him. If I got lucky, he'd do a load or two of dishes and MAYBE clean the ferret's cage out.
Now Erik has a parttime job and even less is being done.

So count your blessings!

*who is looking for her own house soon*
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 08:14 am (UTC)
We started out that way, and I am pleased to say that there was initial "getting over himself" on Ferrett's part. Now I must reciprocate.

I fully admit that I was spoiled. That doesn't mean I can't pout [g].

(I'm sorry you are having difficulties with him. But glad that you are going to stop putting up with it; you deserve better.)
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[User Picture]From: gothiksukkubus
2003-07-04 08:46 am (UTC)
I wish I had more say around here. Hard to do, since his mother has the house in her name. Of course, I pay the bulk of the bills and mortgage. But clearly, that means nothing to those two.

I hate it, but am taking steps to independance. I tolerate far more than I'd normally tolerate because I need a place for my children to be whilst I finish up school and find a decent paying job. I've been socking money away left and right waiting for that day.
I won't say that I don't love the man, because I do, but love isn't enough anymore. I don't love what he's become and frankly, he has no concept of TALKING a problem out. It must be copious amounts of screaming, yelling, "ultimatims", false accusations and insults.
We had a huge fight the other day that ended up with my plate of dinner hitting the ceiling, my youngest daughter terrified and me finally telling him everything I've wanted to for years, but held back because Lysa is NOT a dirty fighter and I don't go out of my way to hurt someone with words. I play fair, damnit...too fair. While I admit that telling him I think he's a fat, useless, lazy momma's boy who will never amount to shit *and that was the nices stuff* was extremely cathartic, I am still angered that I allowed him to make me so angry that I stooped to his fighting tactics and forgot the concept of civility.

What caused this fight?
My sons were goofing off and pulled a piece of the garage side door frame out by accident. Easily fixed with a few nails, and they did so.
But he turned around and called my son a piece of shit.
Insult me left and right. I'll laugh in your face.
Call one of my kids something like that and I'll show you just who the piece of shit is.
So now, he's running around kissing my ass big time because he's realized just deep he's gotten himself into.
Nice try, babe, but I'm done.

So now, I wait...
I figure I can be rid of this whole situation within a year if I play my cards right.
And you're right, Gini. I DO deserve better.
Much better.

But frankly, after this relationship, I'm done.
It would serve me far better to concentrate on giving my kids a decent life than expending energy in a relationship with another guy.
I just don't have the mental energy to deal with this sort of nonsense again, you know?
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-04 08:50 am (UTC)
Dear Erik:

Welcome to dumpsville. Population: You.


I say nothing bad about Erik since I don't know him, but your anger does NOT a happy relationship make. I'd skedaddle first opportunity. And think seriously about why you get into relationships in the first place.
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[User Picture]From: gothiksukkubus
2003-07-04 09:08 am (UTC)


To be honest, in the beginning, it was nothing like this.
He was civil, lovely to be around, helpful, worked alot, paid his share and was amazing with the kids. They adored him.
In fact, he was the perfect boyfriend. After having been in an abusive relationship for so long, I wasn't keen on getting involved again.
And I didn't, for a long time.

A mutual friend intro'd me to Erik, since he'd had a horrible run of bad luck with relationships as well and she felt we'd be great for each other.
I still held off for a long time with Erik, preferring to just be friends, but eventually, we found a niche with each other and things were blissful.

Then we moved to Illinois, to be closer to his family.
Ever since he's been back with his mother, he's turned into this sullen, whiny baby who can't be bothered to raise a finger, has to have the newest video games and systems (but doesn't have the money for them) and doesn't want to work.
Of course, mommy feeds into this in a horrible way and I've pleaded with her to let him grow up and be a man, lest he spend the rest of his years alone. I've also begged him to stop letting his mother have control of his balls and grow up.
Alas, to no avail. I get temporary results, but it inevitably goes back to the way it was.

Now the kids hate him, I have no respect for him and I keep looking longingly at the door.

I just wonder if we'd not come to Illinois, if things would have been much better.
But of course, it's too late now.

But no, Ferrett...I didn't just jump into this relationship without looking. I took my time, weighed out my options and looked at the Pros and Cons. I established a friendship, made sure I understood where he was coming from. We had much in common, had trust and love for each other. Things were pretty harmonious in Arizona.
I just wish I knew what went wrong.

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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 06:53 pm (UTC)
I understand what it is to stay in a relationship and only find, in retrospect, that it's really crappy. And what it feels like to be trapped by poor options. It is worth getting out, though, and you have many friends to support you. Hang in there, and I'm always an ear if you need it.
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[User Picture]From: lyssabard
2003-07-04 08:17 am (UTC)

I got an idea

Come see me.
We'll go somewhere.
Um..somewhere cheap :).

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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-04 08:20 am (UTC)

Re: I got an idea

Speaking of which, Art Fair. You gonna be in town? We're coming down with my dad and perhaps Jeff and a few others, and I thought we could all meet up.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 06:59 pm (UTC)

Re: Housework...

Reminds me of my friends Robin and Craig. Craig once said, "We have a system. She doesn't pick up my stuff and I don't pick up her stuff. And I don't pick up my stuff and she doesn't pick up her stuff and pretty soon we just shovel paths to the bed and the kitchen...."

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[User Picture]From: lothie
2003-07-04 03:11 pm (UTC)
That sounds just like me.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 07:02 pm (UTC)


Aren't we just spoiled brats?

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[User Picture]From: lothie
2003-07-04 07:30 pm (UTC)
Yup, but we're also hot babes so it works out!
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-05 12:49 pm (UTC)
Tru dat. Why do you think I clean?
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[User Picture]From: lothie
2003-07-05 12:53 pm (UTC)
*salacious grin*
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