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I spoke to my daughters today, to wish them a Happy Fourth of July.… - The Fucking Bluebird of Goddamn Happiness [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Jul. 4th, 2003|05:25 pm]
[Current Mood |sadsad]

I spoke to my daughters today, to wish them a Happy Fourth of July. We will have a longer chat on Sunday when they and I aren't headed out the door.

Erin casually told me that she has decided to stay in Massachusetts for her senior year, instead of coming out here to Ohio. I was not entirely surprised by this news; she has begun to make friends, has a boyfriend, and feels like she has a life there.

I am, nevertheless, completely devestated.

The logical part of me says that this is probably a good thing. After all, I will be going to school again, Ferrett's schedule is insane, and there is enough going on in the household that not needing to cope with a rebellious teenager should be a relief.

But I can't believe she won't be living with me anymore. It's her senior year, and instead of being a four-hour drive away at boarding school she is impossible to visit on a quick turnaround.

There's a part of me that wants to go after them, make them live with me. That part is completely selfish. Their dad and stepmom have time for the things I can't give them, with law school and working fulltime. Being a loving mother means letting them be away from me.

I am very sad right now, though.

From: jamm3r
2003-07-04 02:36 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 07:00 pm (UTC)


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[User Picture]From: dk_leathers
2003-07-04 02:37 pm (UTC)

~just hugs~

..from a fellow mom.

I've watched three fly the coop more or less so far (at 35, that ain't bad going I reckon); my eldest two step daughters and my own son, who now shares residence with his (really rather wonderful) father and I, specifically for a much better school and to get away from school bullying and acquire a wonderful new self confidence at last.

It's heart wrenching, no matter for what good reasons or that it's sincerely in their best interests. But the 'leaves a hole' feeling does pass.. then those phone calls and visits are 100 times more special because you miss them, than having them 24/7 is. ~soft smile~ Enjoy the knowledge that they will miss you too, and it will make the time you 'do' spend together all the sweeter.
LOL OK that was a blinking mouthful from a total stranger..
perhaps I should have stuck with ~just hugs~ ;)
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 07:10 pm (UTC)

Re: ~just hugs~

Thanks. It helps.
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[User Picture]From: zoethe
2003-07-04 07:01 pm (UTC)

Re: ~just hugs~

I appreciate the encouragement. I am trying to focus on the times we share and the fact that I will always be their mom. It's tough, though.
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-04 08:09 pm (UTC)

No Surprises, But Large Hugs

I know how you feel, and I wish I was there to be with you through this. I'll have my cell phone on until 1:00 or so if you want to talk.

And Jeff's right; it's not selfish.
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[User Picture]From: theferrett
2003-07-04 08:16 pm (UTC)

Re: No Surprises, But Large Hugs

Okay, I lied. My cell phone's dead. But I may call in a bit anyway just to check up on you.

Hugs and stuff,
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