||[Jul. 4th, 2003|05:25 pm]
I spoke to my daughters today, to wish them a Happy Fourth of July. We will have a longer chat on Sunday when they and I aren't headed out the door.
Erin casually told me that she has decided to stay in Massachusetts for her senior year, instead of coming out here to Ohio. I was not entirely surprised by this news; she has begun to make friends, has a boyfriend, and feels like she has a life there.
I am, nevertheless, completely devestated.
The logical part of me says that this is probably a good thing. After all, I will be going to school again, Ferrett's schedule is insane, and there is enough going on in the household that not needing to cope with a rebellious teenager should be a relief.
But I can't believe she won't be living with me anymore. It's her senior year, and instead of being a four-hour drive away at boarding school she is impossible to visit on a quick turnaround.
There's a part of me that wants to go after them, make them live with me. That part is completely selfish. Their dad and stepmom have time for the things I can't give them, with law school and working fulltime. Being a loving mother means letting them be away from me.
I am very sad right now, though.